Today's the Day!!!

[Psi Baba]

Whooh! How did this get posted on here? I didn't post this. You gotta believe me! It was my hamster! He broke out of his cage and posted this malicious lie.

I love you all! Really! Now just go on with your lives, making meals, talking, and pumping lots of gas, like you normally do. Pay no attention to this silly post. By my hamster.

Uh-huh. Better start mailing out those gas coupons buddy!

I just noticed something. Julien keeps referring to the FEMA Tsunami exercises that were scheduled to run May 23-25--ON THE WEST COAST! What a kook.

 

[Phillybee]

Well great, just how am I to explain to my cow-orkers why I was dressed in a wetsuit, with flippers and a snorkel all day?

 

[headscratcher4]

"Not quite the conflagration we'd been expecting..."

--Beyond the Fringe, skit about the end of the world....

 

[Arkan_Wolfshade]

Uh-huh. Better start mailing out those gas coupons buddy!

I just noticed something. Julien keeps referring to the FEMA Tsunami exercises that were scheduled to run May 23-25--ON THE WEST COAST! What a kook.

Especially considering that the west coast is actually at risk for tsunami activity, due to the Alaskan area of volcanic/seismic activity.

 

[headscratcher4]

"This corroborates information of an evacuation exercise of the U.S. Congress to occur later in the day of May 25th, information which reached us this morning."

This is from the comet is coming site...

I am in DC AND CONGRESS HAS EVACUATED! Ok, it is a long, three-day weekend and COngress always pretty well leaves town at the COB on Thurday (there being no legislative business on Friday). But, they're gone! The've bolted from town to save themselves leaving us residents to sink or swim as it were. Typical.

 

[Kiwiwriter]

True Confessions!

Well, since it is the last day we are all going to be alive, I have some things to get off my chest.

1. You're all bastards, I've just been pretending to like you. I hate you all.
2. I was the one that told Bush there were WMD. Yes, I knowingly lied about it.
3. I'm manipulating the gasoline market, and making a killing. Ya, that's right, you're paying 3.50 at the pump, and 2.50 of that is going into my pocket. Suckers.


Well, there's more, but those are the biggies. At least now I can die peacefully, satisfied that all you worthless scum are also dying with the full knowledge of how I scammed you all. That's gotta sting.

That's not fair...you didn't tell us who whacked John F. Kennedy!

And what about making Paris Hilton famous...when are you going to own up to that?

And how about teaching Bret Saberhagen how to squirt bleach at reporters?

 

[rdaneel]

DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, THE APOCALYPSE HAS BEEN POSTPONED!

We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

 

[Kiwiwriter]

He's weaseling out of it!

I think he was saying something about some extraterrestrials who would be able to prevent it if they could be bothered, or something.

The comet hasn't hit and now he's creating a "window" for its arrival or saying the Romulans are going to stop it!

Maybe the appearance of the movie "Independence Day" this morning empowered the Romulans to stop the comet.

Either way, it didn't land. I'm calling the Comet Police!

 

[Mojo]

"Not quite the conflagration we'd been expecting..."

Same time again tomorrow?




We must get a winner some day...

 

[Hellbound]

You know, I was browsing for remotely interesting television last night, and jsut realized that SciFi channel (I think) aired an episode of Stargate SG-1 where a comet/meteor was headed for Earth.

I wonder who planned that

 

[Meffy]

Julien keeps referring to the FEMA Tsunami exercises that were scheduled to run May 23-25--ON THE WEST COAST! What a kook.

Told ya it was gonna be a BIG wave.

 

[Spektator]

Just turned on the radio, and the song playing was "I'm Still Standing." Says it all, really.

 

[Miss Whiplash]

Well, I'm disappointed. Here I am with a surfboard and bathing suit and no place to go...

 

[Tricky]

Well, I'm disappointed. Here I am with a surfboard and bathing suit and no place to go...

Won't you crumble to dust if you go in the sun?

 

[Hellbound]

Won't you crumble to dust if you go in the sun?

SPF 500, I bet.

 

[Meffy]

The Vampire's hoping for a night-time strike, obviously.

 

[StewartP]

A shame then that none of the psyschics forsaw today's earthquake in Indonesia (Java) that may have killed up to 1400 people.

While the ET's and various good vibrations people were holding back meteorites over the Atlantic, they let a 6.2 Earthquake slip past the radar.

 

[Meffy]

Woo works in mysterious ways. :-(

 

[roger]

You know, this isn't so bad. Apparently the aliens, or whatever, made it possible for us to breath underwater, and furthermore, increased our strength so it feels no more viscous than air. Sweet! Thanks, aliens!

Anyhoo, I'm off to the lake, it being memorial day and everything. Think I'll use my newfound skills to swim to the bottom of the lake and explore. Actually, since swimming is tiring, I think I'll just tie a couple of concrete blocks to my back, jump in, and walk back out when I'm done. I'll let you know what I find when I return.

 

[Meffy]

Use some of Christophera's imaginary concrete from the 9-11 woo thread. I guarantee you'll not drown from being weighed down by the nonexistent kind.