• Quick note - the problem with Youtube videos not embedding on the forum appears to have been fixed, thanks to ZiprHead. If you do still see problems let me know.

Cont: The Valley of the Wood Apes, part 2

I thought these guys said they turned down TV offers because they didn't want a circus?
 
You can't come
Across the Sasquatch
Until you pay the toll
So don't try to lay no boogie wookie
On the King of fake and droll
 
Footie Dread, Footie Dread, now
A dreadlock Congo Bongo
Footie Dreadlock in a Babylon
Roots Footie, Roots Footie!
 
HarryHenderson said:
Speaking of Freud, there's an uncommonly common theme with all these phantom chasing shows and the people who apparently just can't get enough of them. Nobody ever gets to ***. They never actually find Bigfoot or the ghost or the treasure. In a one hour show they spend 55 minutes lubing everyone up for a punchline they know isn't ever coming, pun intended. The question is how does somebody watch a TV show over and over again that disappoints in literally every way that it could every time that it could? I've watched maybe 2 minutes of Finding Bigfoot, but there's people who've watched every single stinking minute, literally thousands of minutes, yet they have seen exactly the same number of Bigfeet (or pictures of Bigfeet) I have, zero.

Is it masochism? :eye-poppi
Click to expand...

Like gambling, for some people it's the thrill of the chase, I guess. I see no point in gambling, and I see no point in watching (Obviously Never) Finding Bigfoot (Because It Doesn't Exist).

I've seen people win the jackpot on a fruit-machine, and then stick it back in again in the obviously silly hopes of trying to win again? more? To me, those people aren't happy with the end result, they want the chase. Look at mythical "Jack the Ripper", all of those interested would have bugger-all left to do with their lives if the suspect was ever revealed, and a lot of amateur sleuths would have a lot less books to write and flog on Amazon.

Finding Bigfoot is about the "kooky" characters and their relationships with each other, the smart one, the dumb one, the dumb one, the even dumber one...actually, they're all dumb.
 
LTC8K6 said:
But Rob, you have all these guys with guns and cameras, and bigfoot is right over there, tromping through the woods...
Click to expand...

C'mon, everyone knows that this no-necked, hulking, hairy, long-armed ape-man, who stands between 8-12 feet tall, weighs about 900-940lbs, looks too human to kill.

Cos, y'know, humans look like Sasquatch, apparently.

Just today I noticed that my local postman was 10-foot tall, had a sloping forehead, smelt like a skunk and was covered with matted fur.

Average Believer: You wouldn't dare kill a Bigfoot, it looks too human, that's the problem, you might get arrested."

Hmmm, does it, though? No, sit down, mate. Nobody looks like a giant gorilla, you *********** fruit-loop.
 
Resume said:
Footie Dread, Footie Dread, now
A dreadlock Congo Bongo
Footie Dreadlock in a Babylon
Roots Footie, Roots Footie!
Click to expand...

If you go down in the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise
If you go down in the woods today
You'd better go in disguise!

For every Bigfoot that ever there was
Will gather there for certain
Because today's the day the
Sasquatches have their picnic.

Picnic time for Wild-Men,
The little Sasquatches are having
A lovely time today
Watch them, catch them unawares
And see them picnic on their holiday

See them gaily gad about
They love to play and shout
They never have any cares
At six o'clock their Mommies and Daddies
Will take them home to bed
Because they're tired little Wild-Men.

Every Skunk-Ape who's been good
Is sure of a treat today
There's lots of marvelous things to eat
And wonderful games to play

Beneath the trees where nobody sees
They'll hide and seek as long as they please
'Cause that's the way the
Sasquatches have their picnic

Picnic time for Bigfeets'es,
The little Grass-Men are having
A lovely time today
Watch them, catch them unawares
And see them picnic on their holiday!
 
Last edited:
William Parcher said:
I would think that the bent stirrup and hurt foot would keep them to one story only. But no.
Click to expand...

It seems like they were the reasons for Patterson's ditching of Gimlin in favour of the stand-in for the remainder of the tour, seeing as how Gimlin gave contradictory accounts to various people.

Once you give a story about a bent stirrup, it's hard to go back on it, but this is what apparently happened a couple of times, which should be the smoking gun for anyone.
 
HarryHenderson said:
Speaking of Freud, there's an uncommonly common theme with all these phantom chasing shows and the people who apparently just can't get enough of them. Nobody ever gets to ***. They never actually find Bigfoot or the ghost or the treasure. In a one hour show they spend 55 minutes lubing everyone up for a punchline they know isn't ever coming, pun intended.(snip)
Click to expand...

I watched one show wishing I was sedated. Not only does nothing happen, but nothing happens over and over. After every commercial, there's a recap. Same recap, different words:

"We're here looking for the Sugar Plum Fairy. Cliff and Butch have some solid sightings to go on, and their plan is to set up a foolproof ambush."

"Cliff and Butch came to this remote spot to find the Sugar Plum Fairy, and they think this is their best chance yet. Now they're setting up a clever ambush."

"The ambush is nearly complete. Soon Cliff and Butch will simply settle down and wait for the elusive prey they have sought for seventeen years . . . the Sugar Plum Fairy."

And so on and so on until my eyes glazed over.
 
Spektator said:
I watched one show wishing I was sedated. Not only does nothing happen, but nothing happens over and over. After every commercial, there's a recap. Same recap, different words:

"We're here looking for the Sugar Plum Fairy. Cliff and Butch have some solid sightings to go on, and their plan is to set up a foolproof ambush."

"Cliff and Butch came to this remote spot to find the Sugar Plum Fairy, and they think this is their best chance yet. Now they're setting up a clever ambush."

"The ambush is nearly complete. Soon Cliff and Butch will simply settle down and wait for the elusive prey they have sought for seventeen years . . . the Sugar Plum Fairy."

And so on and so on until my eyes glazed over.
Click to expand...

And then there's the suspense-building moments just before an ad-break, making it seem like if you stay tuned, you'll be treated to some amazing footage or encounter, only for the ads to end and for you to realize that literally nothing happens whatsoever.

What's worse is that this type of format is being used on so many other shows these days. The Discovery channels are unbearable these days. I saw a new one the other night, Man vs Monster, with a guy I've never heard of and can find no information on, who wears an explorer's outfit and roams around the jungles of the world looking for things that don't exist.

I don't even know how these ideas are brought up in meetings and how/why they get over.

Guys, I've got it! How about a show where we go looking for Bigfoot and giant bats and living dinosaurs?

Aren't there already a bunch of shows like that out there?

Well yeah, but none with an English guy. We'll get an English guy to do it.

Well that's pretty different. Let's do it!
 
Gilbert Syndrome said:
And then there's the suspense-building moments just before an ad-break, making it seem like if you stay tuned, you'll be treated to some amazing footage or encounter, only for the ads to end and for you to realize that literally nothing happens whatsoever.

What's worse is that this type of format is being used on so many other shows these days. The Discovery channels are unbearable these days. I saw a new one the other night, Man vs Monster, with a guy I've never heard of and can find no information on, who wears an explorer's outfit and roams around the jungles of the world looking for things that don't exist.

I don't even know how these ideas are brought up in meetings and how/why they get over.

Guys, I've got it! How about a show where we go looking for Bigfoot and giant bats and living dinosaurs?

Aren't there already a bunch of shows like that out there?

Well yeah, but none with an English guy. We'll get an English guy to do it.

Well that's pretty different. Let's do it!
Click to expand...
Definitely an overdone (and badly done) format. Even Master Chef does it (and I kind of like that show) before revealing the results of a round of cooking competition.
 
Spektator said:
...
"We're here looking for the Sugar Plum Fairy. Cliff and Butch have some solid sightings to go on, and their plan is to set up a foolproof ambush."

"Cliff and Butch came to this remote spot to find the Sugar Plum Fairy, and they think this is their best chance yet. Now they're setting up a clever ambush."

"The ambush is nearly complete. Soon Cliff and Butch will simply settle down and wait for the elusive prey they have sought for seventeen years . . . the Sugar Plum Fairy."
...
Click to expand...
:D Comedy gold! You're actually a writer for these shows huh?!

Gilbert Syndrome said:
...
We'll get an English guy to do it.
Well that's pretty different. Let's do it!
Click to expand...
:D You're probably not far too off on that.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top Bottom