I just finished reading the previous FOTL thread and this one.
It's like Ayn Rand puked all over a pile of Anarchist literature, set the whole mess on fire, and dropped it down a mineshaft, where it was discovered by a tribe of eyeless molemen who worshiped it as a fertility idol, adorned it with giant golden nipples and wrote elaborate poems all over it in braille before they were all encased in concrete by Russian nuclear scientists who used the mineshaft for waste disposal until the UN came calling, and left to soak up rads for a hundred thousand years until wind and surf at last freed it from its stony prison, at which point, bombarded by atomic radiation and possessed by the vengeful spirits of the eyeless molemen, it rose from the fissure, quickened with terrible intent, and driven by instincts unspeakable in all the tongues of man towards the place where it was first spawned, where James Randi, Vin Diesel and the Ghostbusters were waiting for it with giant hadron lasers, and it would have all ended there if it weren't for the timely intervention of a horde of death metal space-vikings, who descended out of the sky in their wicked awesome space-longboat covered with death rays and flaming skulls while Judas Priest rocked out on top of a giant zeppelin, and they blew up the Ghostbusters and beamed up the giant flaming Ayn Rand nipple monster into their space-longboat and they gave the finger to James Randi, who got out a giant skeptical death ray and blew up the space-vikings and the space-longboat and the zeppelin, and the giant flaming Ayn Rand nipple monster fell into the North Atlantic, where it walked across the ocean floor to Japan and decided to spend the rest of its days writing Inuyasha fan fiction, and everyone would have lived happily ever after except that Judas Priest was totally pissed at James Randi for blowing up their zeppelin, so they built a giant robot because they were in Japan too and that's what you do when you're in Japan, and then the giant Ayn Rand nipple monster decided to whup the giant Judas Priest robot's ass, so Judas Priest all got into their giant Judas Priest robot and rocked out so hard that the giant Ayn Rand nipple monster exploded, and parts of it rained down all over the world, and people who couldn't read English or braille found all the pieces of it and posted them all on the internet!
