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So apparently I'm going to hell...

JenseitsDavon said:
Blast, only 27. But then, I'm a guy. If we take it to appreciating girls showing their elbows and working, or (especially) showing cleavage, etc., I'm up to 34. Am I winning?
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No, they are all just one sin.

I reckon if I can just get to watch three more of those stations I can get to 36.
 
Pot Smoking - Nobody believes me, but I'm one of the many Dutch who hasn't.
Cigarette Smoking - Yep, but not anymore for a long time. Is there an extra circle of hell for pipe smokers?
Alcohol Drinking - Hell yeah
Guitar Playing - Planning to
Having a Tattoo - Yep, 2.
Showing Cleavage - Is it an extra bg sin if you're a dude and show cleavage?
Showing Bellybuttons - See above.
Girls Showing Their Knees - Nope, dude.
Girls Showing Their Elbows - Nope, dude.
Girls Wearing Tight Pants - Nope, dude.
Girls Wearing Miniskirts - Nope, dude.
Being Blond - No, but married to a blond and have a blond child. And the things I did when I was young and saw all those blond women in Hef's wonderful magazine...
Being Fat - Yep, see cleavage above.
Cursing - **** yeah
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage - Yep.
Holding Hands before Marriage - Yep.
Groping Breast before Marriage - Yep.
Having Premarital Sex - Yep.
Masturbation - Ah, there we go. See being blond above.
Having Anal Sex - Nope.
Having Oral Sex - Yep!
Being Homosexual - No, sorry.
Judging People - My nickname is Dredd.
Being Selfish - It's my right to be.
Playing Sports - Not any more (see being fat above).
Women Working - I let my wife do all the work in the house, does that count?
Watching BET - Nope, don't get that here.
Watching MTV - Yep.
Watching VH1 - Yep.
Watching TNT - Nope, don't get that here.
Associating With Hollywood - ??? Well, I've been there once.
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll - So, satanic black/death metal is OK? Phew close call.
Believing in Evolution - Just as much as I 'believe' in gravity.
Being Catholic - Well, born and raised, but I stopped being one to become an atheist.
Being Jewish - Nope.
Being Buddhist - Nope.
Being Methodist - Nope.
Being Protestant - Nope.
Being Mormon - Nope.
Being Muslim - Nope.
Being Hindu - Nope.
Being Agnostic - Nope.
Being Atheist - Yep.
Being a Woman - Not the last time I checked.
Being In a Sorority or Fraternity - Didn't have them at my school.
Owning a Pet - Yep. I wanted ta call my completly black lab/bull terrier cross Cerberus, but he came with a name.
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future. Yep, yep and yep.

26 in total, if you count the last three as three (not as one point).
Maybe Brother Micah can come over to Europe and update his list? Or is being European enough of a sin?
 
Pot Smoking - Humm... oh... what?... (hides stash quickly)... no... i'm just... you know... what??
Cigarette Smoking - Does "trying to quit count as non-smoking?"
Alcohol Drinking - Is it supposed to be drank? I thought you were supposed to inject it in your heart... Anyway, I'm portuguese... so...
Guitar Playing - Not my thing.
Having a Tattoo - Not my thing.
Showing Cleavage - Definetely not my thing.
Showing Bellybuttons -Idem.
Girls Showing Their Knees - Idem.
Girls Showing Their Elbows - Idem.
Girls Wearing Tight Pants - Idem.
Girls Wearing Miniskirts - I love it.
Being Blond - No.
Being Fat - More like OBESE. "You pig! Oink oink, piggy!" - I tell myself in the mirror, after I throw up the greasy kiwi i have for lunch.
Cursing - I'm not a sorcerer.
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage - Oh, come on.
Holding Hands before Marriage - Idem.
Groping Breast before Marriage - Idem.
Having Premarital Sex - Premarital? What do you mean? Do people have sex after marriage? :p
Masturbation - What? Since when is this a sin?
Having Anal Sex - Oh, come on!
Having Oral Sex - Oh, cooome ooonnnn!
Being Homosexual - I reallly love to watch myself in the mirror... does that make me gay? Or just an insecure personality?
Judging People - I really hate people who judge! Who the hell do they think they are? With their opinions and points of view... They should all be sent to Treblinka... and gay people as well. I mean, I have nothing against gay people but let's face it... who wants to see a live one? Alive... Nobody! Unless you're a fag! Are you a fag? Don't you know you're disrespecting Jesus Christ? You blasfemer! You sinner! You atheist! You will accept my doctrine of peace and tolerance even if for that I have to smack your head on the ground! ... No, I'm not judgemental.
Being Selfish - That is MY question.
Playing Sports - See Shrike's answer. (2 posts above)
Women Working - I like her to be on on top of things. Keeps her busy. :D
Watching BET - Not my thing.
Watching MTV - Not my usual thing.
Watching VH1 - Not my thing.
Watching TNT - Not my thing.
Associating With Hollywood - I'm an actor. My association with HW is simply non-existent. I'm an indie guy, I do it for the Arrrt!!! (Shreds a silent tear...)
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll - I'm deaf. Thanks for the reminder.
Believing in Evolution - What is there to "believe"?
Being Catholic - Does imitating Marylin Manson's Bible Shredding on Christma's Eve when I was 12 count as non-catholic? Because from what I gather Marilyn Manson and Ozzy Osbourne are catholics... so... I don't know where I'm going with this one... and I could just erase the answer and start a new one... Yes... Yes, I could...
Being Jewish - Nein.
Being Buddhist - I'm more buddihst than the buddhists.
Being Methodist - I stopped using it years ago. It was ruining my dentition.
Being Protestant - I protest a lot. (OK, this was a cheesy one..)
Being Mormon - NO! NOOOO! NOOOOOO!!!!! Ok? NOOO!!
Being Muslim - See answer above? Copy-paste it to a Word file, then change the font size to 7500. Print it. Look at it for hours. Redo the process four times. There's my answer.
Being Hindu - I smoke Hashish... thank Shiva and all that... ieeey... that's the highest amount of Hindu I can get. (Ahahah... highest... good double-entendre... i mean... what?... oh...)
Being Agnostic - There's a lot of things I just don't know.
Being Atheist - What's that?... Not believing in God? What's God? (hears the explanation. Laugh his ass off for 40 days and 40 nights.) Well, yes, I guess that makes an atheist, alright.
Being a Woman - I'm lucky dreams don't count as actions. :shy:
Being In a Sorority or Fraternity - I don't like other people.
Owning a Pet - Yes, a lovely kitty.
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future - I don't conceive sin. So, I guess that makes me a non-sinner.

Humm... I wonder where Hunter S. Thompson, Mark Twain, Spalding Gray and Oscar Wilde wonder about?

Heaven? Or hell? :boggled:
 
Cynic said:
The 10 commandos? That would make an excellent name for a movie. The thing just writes itself...
Click to expand...

There is a farce here. Someone, write a script, cameras, action...

DIE LAUGHING!
 
This "reverend" could give lessons in intolerance and natural things to hate to the Puritans and Taliban!
What a miserable life he must lead, seeing all that hateful every place he looks!
And people enjoying it, that must be the worst part of it!
 
skeptiform5 said:
Pot Smoking yepCigarette Smoking yepAlcohol Drinking yepGuitar Playing yepHaving a Tattoo
Showing Cleavage yepShowing Bellybuttons yepGirls Showing Their Knees yepGirls Showing Their Elbows yepGirls Wearing Tight Pants yepGirls Wearing Miniskirts yepBeing Blond yepBeing Fat yepCursing yepKissing on the Mouth before Marriage yepHolding Hands before Marriage yepGroping Breast before Marriage yepHaving Premarital Sex yepMasturbation yepHaving Anal Sex yepHaving Oral Sex yepBeing Homosexual (does having encounters count? yepJudging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest) yepBeing Selfish yepPlaying Sports yepWomen Working yepWatching BET yepWatching MTV yepWatching VH1 yepWatching TNT yepAssociating With Hollywood
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll yepBelieving in Evolution yepBeing Catholic yepBeing Jewish
Being Buddhist
Being Methodist
Being Protestant
Being Mormon
Being Muslim
Being Hindu
Being Agnostic yepBeing Atheist yepBeing a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin) yepBeing In a Sorority or Fraternity yepOwning a Pet yepSin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future. yep
Click to expand...


So that's... 38 !! Wow, being a woman REALLY helps win these contests :)
 
Curses, I have been outsinned.

Oh, right. I already had cursing checked off. I'll have to think of something more sinful to get back in the running.

(Wanders off to try and figure out a way to "Associate with Hollywood".)
 
Hokulele said:
Curses, I have been outsinned.

Oh, right. I already had cursing checked off. I'll have to think of something more sinful to get back in the running.

(Wanders off to try and figure out a way to "Associate with Hollywood".)
Click to expand...

Yep, associating with Hollywood, getting a tattoo, or joining a bunch of different religions! pretty much the only vices I haven't tried yet :)

p.s. don't worry, you're STILL the Top Sinner as far as I'm concerned :p
 
Hokulele said:
Curses, I have been outsinned.

Oh, right. I already had cursing checked off. I'll have to think of something more sinful to get back in the running.

(Wanders off to try and figure out a way to "Associate with Hollywood".)
Click to expand...

Watch a Hollywood movie, that should be enough. :cool:

Does it count if I smoked pot a few times, but each time got sick as a dog (hence the few times)?

Does the self-piercing experiment at age 15 count instead of a tattoo?
 
Lucian said:
If simply being a woman can earn you a ride on the brimstone express, why does he bother mentioning the other female-related offenses? I got me a uterus, vagina, some boobs--all the girlie bells and whistles. Clearly I'm inferno-bound. What difference does it make if I am also an inveterate elbow-exposer?
Click to expand...

Good point. Show us your tits.
:duck:
 
Pot Smoking - No, but willing to try.
Cigarette Smoking - A couple of times. I prefer pipes and cigars.
Alcohol Drinking - Yep
Guitar Playing - Tried, and failed. I lack the manual dexterity.
Having a Tattoo - No, but willing.
Showing Cleavage - Yes. I'm a big fat guy, so I'm counting this twice. :)
Showing Bellybuttons - Ibid.
Girls Showing Their Knees -
Girls Showing Their Elbows -
Girls Wearing Tight Pants -
Girls Wearing Miniskirts - I'm the father of a teen girl who I allow and encourage to so dress, So I'm claiming them all.
Being Blond - Yep
Being Fat - Oh yeah.
Cursing - **** yeah.
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage - Indeed.
Holding Hands before Marriage - Yes.
Groping Breast before Marriage - Finest kind.
Having Premarital Sex - Not only this, but conceived my firstborn out of wedlock as the latest in a long family tradition.
Masturbation - I lettered in it.
Having Anal Sex - Stuck it in her POOPER! Yeah!
Having Oral Sex - Whenever possible.
Being Homosexual - No, but if Antonio Banderas or Hugh Laurie came along, I'm willing to give it a go.
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest) - With glee.
Being Selfish - This forms the basis for my moral code.
Playing Sports - Tried it, I sucked.
Women Working - All for it.
Watching BET - Sure.
Watching MTV - grew up masturbating to Martha Quinn
Watching VH1 - I Love the 80s gets me up in the AM.
Watching TNT - Frequently.
Associating With Hollywood - I have many times stated that going to movies on Sunday is my "church". I'm taking this one.
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll - Yes, Yes, once upon a time, and Yes.
Believing in Evolution - Oh hell yes.
Being Catholic - No, but I married one.
Being Jewish - No, but I'd convert for Natalie Portman. Or Library Lady. I'm such a mutt anyway I would not be surprised if there weren't some among my ancestry.
Being Buddhist - Used to be.
Being Methodist - Raised so.
Being Protestant - Yep.
Being Mormon - Nope, but my daughter dates one.
Being Muslim - No.
Being Hindu - Tried it out once.
Being Agnostic - Yes.
Being Atheist - Oh yeah, baby.
Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin) - No, but I think I could be a good lesbian if given the chance.
Being In a Sorority or Fraternity - Other than "the Fraternity of man", no.
Owning a Pet - Yes.
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future. - Yes, yes, and certainly yes.

Now for the big question... Who isn't going to hell?
Click to expand...

That gives me a heavily weighted 39, by my count.
 
Last edited:
Oh, okay. I never actually filled this out, and I'm home with a sprained foot.

Pot Smoking - Did not inhale. Does speed twice a day count? Probably not, since it's by prescription. :)
Cigarette Smoking - Nope. Never.
Alcohol Drinking - Not for years. (I wonder if this means currently or ever?)
Guitar Playing - Yes. Not very well.
Having a Tattoo - No.
Showing Cleavage - Yeees.. it's been known to happen....
Showing Bellybuttons - This too...
Girls Showing Their Knees - ""
Girls Showing Their Elbows -""
Girls Wearing Tight Pants -""
Girls Wearing Miniskirts - ""
Being Blond - Strawberry blonde. I think this counts.
Being Fat - No. But does a lifelong obsession with dieting count? Well, it should.
Cursing - Yes, usually in traffic.
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage - Yes
Holding Hands before Marriage - Yes
Groping Breast before Marriage - Yes
Having Premarital Sex - Yes
Masturbation - Oh, okay, yes
Having Anal Sex - No, actually
Having Oral Sex - Yes to that one
Being Homosexual - This question is kind of limiting. Do you have to actually be straight-up and exclusively gay/lesbian in order to go to hell? Well, probably not, so yes to this one too.
Judging People: Yes. But I'm always right.
Being Selfish: Not a lot. But if this means EVER, then yes.
Playing Sports - Yes.
Women Working - Yes.
Watching BET - yes
Watching MTV - Yes-- recently and guiltily hooked on Jersey Shore
Watching VH1 - Yes-- it's been a while, but there is no statute of limitations
Watching TNT - Yes.
Associating With Hollywood - I'm not sure if they mean just going to movies, associating with the sinister Hollywood cabal, or having your picture taken with a star on Hollywood Boulevard. Yes, no,and yes.
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll - Yes to all. My Sirius/XM radio is permanently set on Area/BPM/Strobe. (Why Christian bands,I wonder? Although many of them would make anyone want to GO to hell in order to avoid listening to them.)
Believing in Evolution - Yes. Gould/Eldridge's version, of course.
Being Catholic - No, but I went to Catholic school.
Being Jewish - No, but I grew up in a Jewish neighborhood.
Being Buddhist - No, but when I was a baby, I lived in a Buddhist commune.
Being Methodist - I taught Wesley Methodist Sunday school when I was 14.
Being Protestant - I think that counts.
Being Mormon - I was baptized Mormon. According to them, that will ALWAYS count.
Being Muslim - No.
Being Hindu - No.
Being Agnostic - A very confusing word. Pass.
Being Atheist - Pass. "Non-theist" is a better term.
Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin) - Yep.
Being In a Sorority or Fraternity -No. (Why this one??)
Owning a Pet - Yes, two cats.
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future. - Yes, because apparently this is impossible to avoid.


That was 38. Apparently, I should reserve my room in hell right now. Someplace with a view of the lake of fire would be nice. :)
 
Hokulele said:
Thanks, I think. :D

And what the heck does it mean to "associate" with Hollywood? Do I have to buy it drinks or something?
Click to expand...
.
One of my AutoCad sketches was used in a John Woo tv mellerdrama! And I got filthy lucre for it!
Associated with Hollywood. Check!
Although I believe the series was based in the Great White North.. same thing.
 
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