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So apparently I'm going to hell...

Its a tough list, that's for sure. Jesus himself fails on the "drinking alcohol" (wine) and not judging people things.
 
Hmmm

Being involved in group sex or orgies isn't a sin (so long as you only interact with the opposite sex and doing missionary position only, of course)?

What bothers Me is that it is far easier for a woman to sin than a man! C'mon!!! This isn't the dark ages any more! Equal sins for both sexes!!!! More sinful opportunities for men!!!!!

...that's it. I'm protesting god.....
 
Hmmm... only 22 for me... give me a couple of months (heck, if I'm damned anyway, might as well have some fun :D)


Then again, I'm a woman so I'm automatically guilty whatever I do. Well, can't say I mind all that much, if the only people who get into heaven are the sort who can clear a list like this, it must be one hell of a boring place.
 
Fear not fellow heathens !

You can all catch a ride to hell with me in my big yellow bus and we can sing "99 bottles of beer on the wall" together in harmony, pull the wings off of houseflies, nibble on a few hundred babies, drink whiskey till we puke, rob every 7-eleven we pass by, and hail mighty praises to the all-powerful and merciless keeper of sinners, Loki !


... but just remember to bring your wallets cause I'm gonna need gas money.

:D
 
Familiar title - ya' did this in February!!

On facebook, someone started a group which states many of the reasons you could go to hell (they did this for humor's sake), some off them include:

Pot Smoking
Cigarette Smoking
Alcohol Drinking
Guitar Playing
Having a Tattoo
Showing Cleavage
Showing Bellybuttons
Girls Showing Their Knees
Girls Showing Their Elbows
Girls Wearing Tight Pants
Girls Wearing Miniskirts
Being Blonde
Being Fat
Cursing
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage
Holding Hands before Marriage
Groping Breast before Marriage
Having Premarital Sex
Masturbation
Having Anal Sex
Having Oral Sex
Being Homosexual
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest)
Being Selfish
Playing Sports
Women Working
Watching BET
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Watching TNT
Associating With Hollywood
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll
Believing in Evolution
Being Catholic
Being Jewish
Being Buddhist
Being Methodist
Being Protestant
Being Mormon
Being Muslim
Being Hindu
Being Agnostic
Being Atheist
Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin)
Being In a Sorority or Fraternity
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future



Ok then...... How many of those have you guys done? Honestly, some of these are absolutely stupid! And where is murder on the list?
Anyway, this should be interesting.

P.S. I have done 23 of those and the last one over a million times.

Sounded familiar (very specifically, so I SEARCHed and.......:)
To the people who already noted this - I just saw it/went straight to search and responded.
 
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Its a tough list, that's for sure. Jesus himself fails on the "drinking alcohol" (wine) and not judging people things.

Certain fundie sects teach it wasn't wine at all, but unfermented grape juice.
Seriously. I belonged to one of them. :rolleyes:

And since Jesus was God, he was allowed to judge people.

Is there a double eye roll smiley?
 
Certain fundie sects teach it wasn't wine at all, but unfermented grape juice.
Seriously. I belonged to one of them. :rolleyes:

And since Jesus was God, he was allowed to judge people.

Is there a double eye roll smiley?

 
Pot Smoking - check
Alcohol Drinking - check
Guitar Playing - check, and very poorly, so double check!
Showing Cleavage - does looking at it count?
Showing Bellybuttons - check
Being Fat - define "fat"
Cursing - huge check!
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage - check
Holding Hands before Marriage - check
Groping Breast before Marriage - check
Having Premarital Sex - check
Masturbation - check
Having Oral Sex - check
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest) - check
Being Selfish - check
Playing Sports - check
Watching MTV - check
Watching VH1 - check
Watching TNT - check
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll - check
Believing in Evolution - check
Being Atheist - check
Owning a Pet - check
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future. - check, check, check

Man am I screwed... :eye-poppi
 
Pot Smoking - check
Alcohol Drinking - check
Guitar Playing - check, and very poorly, so double check!
Showing Cleavage - does looking at it count?
Showing Bellybuttons - check
Being Fat - define "fat"
Cursing - huge check!
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage - check
Holding Hands before Marriage - check
Groping Breast before Marriage - check
Having Premarital Sex - check
Masturbation - check
Having Oral Sex - check
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest) - check
Being Selfish - check
Playing Sports - check
Watching MTV - check
Watching VH1 - check
Watching TNT - check
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll - check
Believing in Evolution - check
Being Atheist - check
Owning a Pet - check
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future. - check, check, check

Man am I screwed... :eye-poppi


... and that was only yesterday's itinerary...

:dl:
 
28. Not bad.


As has been pointed out, the list is clearly sexist. Of forty-seven opportunities six are restricted solely to women (and the "show cleavage" thing is a bit problematic). One is just a gimme that doesn't even require any effort on their part. None of the chances are similarly biased in favor of males. That gives the chicks a better than twelve percent advantage just from the start.

I think we should demand a more gender neutral list so that our god-given right to go to hell is not diluted by gender bias.

-------------------

Also, a clarification is in order. Are pets to be counted cumulatively, or is there a separate credit for each one? This could give a huge advantage to anyone who had an ant farm when they were a kid. (Especially if they're a girl. :()
 
I'd rather face all the terrors of Hell than all of the alleged "pleasures" (i.e. praising and singing hymns to their god for all eternity) of heaven. Better to be damned than be one of Yahweh's ass kissers.

I would feel the same if I had that warped view of what lies in store.
 
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