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So apparently I'm going to hell...

skeptiform5 said:
Being Catholic
Being Jewish
Being Buddhist
Being Methodist
Being Protestant
Being Mormon
Being Muslim
Being Hindu
Being Agnostic
Being Atheist
Click to expand...
interesting, so as a Pantheist I'm not going to Hell.
funny though I already knew that, Pantheists don't have a Hell
:p
 
skeptiform5 said:
I have been invited by my friend to a group on facebook called 'so apparently I'm going to hell' which has a list of reasons ,stated by Mr. Micah Armstrong originally of the Assembly of God Church in Miami, of why you can go to hell they include:
Pot Smoking
Cigarette Smoking
Alcohol Drinking
Guitar Playing
Having a Tattoo
Showing Cleavage
Showing Bellybuttons
Girls Showing Their Knees
Girls Showing Their Elbows
Girls Wearing Tight Pants
Girls Wearing Miniskirts
Being Blond
Being Fat
Cursing
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage
Holding Hands before Marriage
Groping Breast before Marriage
Having Premarital Sex
Masturbation
Having Anal Sex
Having Oral Sex
Being Homosexual
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest)
Being Selfish
Playing Sports
Women Working
Watching BET
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Watching TNT
Associating With Hollywood
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll
Believing in Evolution
Being Catholic
Being Jewish
Being Buddhist
Being Methodist
Being Protestant
Being Mormon
Being Muslim
Being Hindu
Being Agnostic
Being Atheist
Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin)
Being In a Sorority or Fraternity
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future.
Now for the big question... Who isn't going to hell?
Click to expand...
I dunno - and since there is no such thing I am not really worried. But if it turns out I am wrong, I'll do my best to get a good, qualified group together there and go hunt up that torturing, raping, murdering, child killing slime on the other side of the gap and hang it's skin on (it's very own) heaven's gates.*





And, say, it's interesting that rape, murder, torture, child killing and the like aren't on that poor, pathetic rectum's list of how to get into hell.:mad::mad::mad:
 
Marduk said:
interesting, so as a Pantheist I'm not going to Hell.
funny though I already knew that, Pantheists don't have a Hell
:p
Click to expand...

Just curious - do you worship all pans or do you, like, have different denominations like skilletarians, dutchovenistists, sauceorists, etc.? Do you go the other way with, say, Allcladinists arguing the purely surface depth religious ideals of castironites? Enquirer minds need to NO!!!!!:D
 
Cynic said:
The 10 commandos? That would make an excellent name for a movie. The thing just writes itself...
Click to expand...

Or, a great name for the little group I would be planning if it wasn't just in the pathetic guy's head.
 
fuelair said:
Just curious - do you worship all pans or do you, like, have different denominations like skilletarians, dutchovenistists, sauceorists, etc.? Do you go the other way with, say, Allcladinists arguing the purely surface depth religious ideals of castironites? Enquirer minds need to NO!!!!!:D
Click to expand...

All pans are equally God,
:D
 
skeptiform5 said:
I have been invited by my friend to a group on facebook called 'so apparently I'm going to hell' which has a list of reasons ,stated by Mr. Micah Armstrong originally of the Assembly of God Church in Miami, of why you can go to hell they include:
Pot Smoking
Cigarette Smoking
Alcohol Drinking
Guitar Playing
Having a Tattoo
Showing Cleavage
Showing Bellybuttons
Girls Showing Their Knees
Girls Showing Their Elbows
Girls Wearing Tight Pants
Girls Wearing Miniskirts
Being Blond
Being Fat
Cursing
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage
Holding Hands before Marriage
Groping Breast before Marriage
Having Premarital Sex
Masturbation
Having Anal Sex
Having Oral Sex
Being Homosexual
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest)
Being Selfish
Playing Sports
Women Working
Watching BET
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Watching TNT
Associating With Hollywood
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll
Believing in Evolution
Being Catholic
Being Jewish
Being Buddhist
Being Methodist
Being Protestant
Being Mormon
Being Muslim
Being Hindu
Being Agnostic
Being Atheist
Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin)
Being In a Sorority or Fraternity
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future.
Now for the big question... Who isn't going to hell?
Click to expand...


The ones in bold I have done at least once. The ones in bold italics I have done and still do (or am) when possible.

Well I'm boned.
 
skeptiform5 said:
I have been invited by my friend to a group on facebook called 'so apparently I'm going to hell' which has a list of reasons ,stated by Mr. Micah Armstrong originally of the Assembly of God Church in Miami, of why you can go to hell they include:
Pot Smoking
Cigarette Smoking
Alcohol Drinking
Guitar Playing
Having a Tattoo
Showing Cleavage
Showing Bellybuttons
Girls Showing Their Knees
Girls Showing Their Elbows
Girls Wearing Tight Pants
Girls Wearing Miniskirts
Being Blond
Being Fat
Cursing
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage
Holding Hands before Marriage
Groping Breast before Marriage
Having Premarital Sex
Masturbation
Having Anal Sex
Having Oral Sex
Being Homosexual
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest)
Being Selfish
Playing Sports
Women Working
Watching BET
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Watching TNT
Associating With Hollywood
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll
Believing in Evolution
Being Catholic
Being Jewish
Being Buddhist
Being Methodist
Being Protestant
Being Mormon
Being Muslim
Being Hindu
Being Agnostic
Being Atheist
Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin)
Being In a Sorority or Fraternity
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future.
Now for the big question... Who isn't going to hell?
Click to expand...

You know, nobody has actually tried to come up with the answer to this question yet...

(gets out TI-83 graphing calculator)

Okay...

A nonsmoking, nondrinking, skinny, totally unathletic male virgin Jehovah's Witness who has never watched TV, listened to the radio, or seen a movie. Or gone out of the house, really.

:eek:

You know, Heaven's going to be a very empty place after everybody figures this one out.
 
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skeptiform5 said:
I have been invited by my friend to a group on facebook called 'so apparently I'm going to hell' which has a list of reasons ,stated by Mr. Micah Armstrong originally of the Assembly of God Church in Miami, of why you can go to hell they include:
Pot Smoking Cigarette Smoking Alcohol Drinking Guitar Playing Having a Tattoo
Showing Cleavage
Showing BellybuttonsGirls Showing Their Knees
Girls Showing Their Elbows
Girls Wearing Tight Pants
Girls Wearing Miniskirts
Being Blond
Being Fat Cursing Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage Holding Hands before Marriage Groping Breast before Marriage Having Premarital Sex Masturbation Having Anal Sex
Having Oral SexBeing Homosexual
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest)
Being Selfish Playing Sports Women Working
Watching BET
Watching MTV Watching VH1 Watching TNT
Associating With Hollywood
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and RollBelieving in EvolutionBeing Catholic
Being Jewish
Being Buddhist
Being Methodist Being Protestant Being Mormon
Being Muslim
Being Hindu
Being AgnosticBeing Atheist
Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin)
Being In a Sorority or Fraternity
Owning a Pet Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future. Now for the big question... Who isn't going to hell?
Click to expand...

At least being a military veteran and having fired weapons at the enemy is not a damnable offense.
 
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What if it's your own breasts that you are groping before you get married?

And what if I was a Methodist, but I never inhaled?
 
Can we get started on organizing the supplies we'll need? I'd like to bring my dogs and cats, if that's ok with everyone. Who's bringing the beer?
 
This is an old joke, but somehow appropriate...

Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and it is all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where the police are German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss, and it is all organized by the Italians.

:D
 
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