Peanut Butter, The Atheist's Nightmare!

[The Atheist]

Even better - now that evolution has been so thoroughly debunked, we can praise god that it isn't real.

Just imagine what type of bizarre creatures would be evolving under the sea right now with all of the grogans and other nasties floating out there in the ocean.

 

[Elizabeth I]

I've been inspired by Chuck Missler's airtight logic. Here's my hypothesis: scientists claim that cars start when you put the key in the ignition and turn it. However, when I put my car key in a jar of peanut butter and turn it, NOTHING HAPPENS. Therefore, only God can start a car and internal combustion is a fairy tale.

Your coffee is hot, it has chemicals in it.. yet no life is spontaneously emerging. How is that possible if abiogenesis is right?

The Betty Crocker cake mix at the store said that if you take the mix, add in 2 eggs, some oil and milk and expose it to head for a period of time, you'll get a cake.

Well not having any cake mix at home, I put some fajita seasoning mix in a pan with some eggs, milk and oil and baked it for a few minutes... it was nothing like a cake at all. Proof that Betty Crocker is a crock alright!

But none of you struck your experiments with LIGHTNING. Have you forgotten the opening of the video that shows the bolt of LIGHTNING? What did Dr. Frankenstein need to animate his monster? LIGHTNING.

 

[Glen.Nogami]

"Nabisco, the makers of Fig Newtons, has announced a recall of their Strawberry Fig Newtons. Due to inadequate evolutionary testing in the laboratory, this product is evolving into Oberto brand Beef Jerky."

Common evolutionary misconception. What actually happens is that Strawberry Fig Newtons and Oberto Beef Jerky share a common ancestor.

ETA: Just followed the link on the first page and found the whole evolution vs creation series on youtube. The theme song has lyrics that go "Can't get past the evidence/Can't get past the proof."

No. No, I just can't get past that evidence. Sorry, creationism.

 

[ponderingturtle]

I've been exposed to light and heat, and new life came from me.

Twice!

And I fed them both peanut butter. There's definitely a message in that somwhere.

The message I get is that neither you or your children are violently alergic to peanuts.

 

[triadboy]

The message I get is that neither you or your children are violently alergic to peanuts.

People who are allergic to peanut butter are heathens. Because they don't partake in the life-giving properties and peanutty goodness of God's Nut Paste. And that's wrong.

 

[AudioFreak]

People who are allergic to peanut butter are heathens. Because they don't partake in the life-giving properties and peanutty goodness of God's Nut Paste. And that's wrong.

I'm pretty sure that the expression "God's Nut Paste" is inherently wrong... lol

 

[NobbyNobbs]

I thought that I had already seen the stupidest arguments from creationists.

I was wrong. Very, very wrong.

 

[KingMerv00]

Just IMAGINE the jar of peanut butter from wence God arose.

Our Father, who art in Jiffy...delicious be thy name...

 

[Tanstaafl]

You just made me flash back to Tan Jr's prayer to his guitar:

"Our guitar, which art in tune, Ibanez be thy name..."

 

[AudioFreak]

Oh sweet Skippy may we never repeat that lest we be smited by his noodly appendage.

 

[Tanstaafl]

Okay, but our deity here is Skinny*, not Skippy.

*that's Mr. Skinny, who welcomed you to the forum.

 

[joesixpack]

Did anyone notice the wonderful hair-peice on the guy that opens that video?

 

[Hawk one]

You know a fundie's said something -really- stupid when we're well into the second page, and yet nobody's tried to act as an apologist for him...

 

[Ichneumonwasp]

Well, he annunciated clearly...........

 

[Bodhi Dharma Zen]

Nobody can be that idiot.



Oh, wait.

Some can.

 

[Tricky]

As it turns out, peanut butter is the Deist's nightmare.

 

[Beanbag]

Actually, I just discovered the other day that my x-large can of peanut butter is from the contaminated lot. I decided not to throw it out because I've already eaten 2/3rds of the can, and it hasn't bothered me (yet). I figure if it was salmony-flavored, it would have got me by now.

And besides, if there is a god, he can take this opportunity to strike me dead. So far, no deities have opted to take me up on the offer.
Beanbag

 

[Wowbagger]

The entire food industry, of the world, depends on the fact that evolution doesn't happen.

Yeah, tell that to all the food industry specialists who depend on evolution, to improve the quality and quantity of what we eat.

The peanuts used to make that jar of peanut butter weren't always so edible, you know.

 

[Earthborn]

Sooo... if the jar of peanut butter is closed off and has been sterilised so no life exists in it, and no new life can ever form inside it... Why does it have an expiration date on it? Either expiration dates reflect the time abiogenesis is likely to occur or they are an evolutionist conspiracy and jarred and tinned food stays edible for all eternity.

 

[The Atheist]

Why does it have an expiration date on it? Either expiration dates reflect the time abiogenesis is likely to occur or they are an evolutionist conspiracy and jarred and tinned food stays edible for all eternity.

That is brilliant!

I haven't made a nomination for a post at all during March, but it's nice to start April with a gigantic one.

Out####ingstanding!