That doesn't follow at all from anything I said.
We are not a military dictatorship because our military follows the orders of our civilian government, according to democratic rules. But they choose to do so, they are not actually forced to do so by any outside power. If they chose not to, then we would become a military dictatorship. And that occasionally happens to countries: the military is not nominally in charge, but seizes power anyways.
Violence is always the ultimate arbiter of power. Always. It has never been otherwise. It can never be otherwise.
Only if you define power as violence.
But in fact, it comes down to what will be accepted as legitimate. Of course, one route to doing that is through violence: "Accept my rules or face the consequences!" This is power through violence.
Or it could be, "Please do page 45 for homework". The teacher has the power to set homework because the teacher is recognized as a legitimate authority to set homework. In some cases, particularly in the past, this was sometimes backed up by violence. But not anymore. Not in many cases.
If you go to a job interview, the people on the panel have the power to hire you (and to fire you), but not because they have the ability to do violence to you. If you write an article for a newspaper, the editor has the power to accept it or to turn it down as being too un-PC or whatever. Jack Dorsey also has the power to kick off Donald Trump and Alex Jones from his platform, but not because he has more guns much to the consternation of right-wing lunatics. If you are very wealthy, you have the power to lobby government more than you do if you are poor. If you have a very sexy body you have to power to entrance other humans, etc...
Power takes many forms, far more than are apparently dreamed of in your Maoist philosophy. In many cases, power is derived from the acceptance that someone has legitimacy. Mao and others can take over a country with brute force, but they may be hated for it. You can force someone to do something at gunpoint, and that is indeed a form of power, but you cannot necessarily gain legitimacy by doing so. There are other ideas about how power is derived and part of that is through the consent of the governed. If even those who have been subjugated refuse to give consent, then even with violence the would-be rulers with their greater capacity for violence will never get to exercise the power they want.
In the case of Afghanistan, to pull it back to something more relevant to the thread as well as this digressionary topic of power and violence, in fact, The Soviet Union had more guns and a greater capacity for violence than the warlords. The Afghan government probably had more guns than the Taliban and could have, and should have destroyed the Taliban. The US obviously had more guns and firepower than the Taliban. But the Taliban relied on much of the population believing that the Taliban had more legitimate authority. The Afghan government woefully lacked that kind of respect.