The "Conservative Bible Project" ... Dumbest Thing Ever?

Let us be honest here. For years the extreme evangelical right has become more and more angry with non-believers that can argue the Bible. For years they have pushed the idea that no one can really understand the Bible who isn't already in their special club. BUT...they have had to contend with academics, scholars and other assorted experts who actually study the Bible in an historical context paying attention to those little things like cultural meaning and linguistics. The fact is that no matter how strongly they feel the spirit they are not experts and they have to contend with what the Bible actually says given those pesky issues of historical context and linguistics.

Well now they don't have to. They can rewrite the Bible based on feeling alone, and justify it through saying that they are in a direct line with the man himself. It doesn't matter if you read Hebrew, Greek or Aramaic. It doesn't matter what degrees you have or how many years you spent studying the history and culture of the time and region. Nope, they can trump all that by simply saying that they have been inspired by Jesus himself.

They can write a Bible that puts them on top, and justifies the excommunication of all other forms of Christianity in their minds. Canonization of crazy in the first church of the radical right.

Then again...its only the crazies at Conservapedia.

I wonder when metapedia will create their Bible were Jesus was a Southern cowboy who fought for the Confederates.
 
Foster Zygote said:
I was stunned by this:


That is stupidity of Biblical proportions.

Kudos to AngusF for asking
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(All quotes from:http://conservapedia.com/Talk:Conservative_Bible_Project#Use_the_original_texts)


But Andy then responds with an all time classic:


Language is never 100% precise. Sometimes it is obvious what was meant, despite the inartful articulation provided by the best terminology available. Mark 6:22 has an example of this, and we improved on the Greek word for "girl". See Gospel of Mark (Translated).--Andy Schlafly 23:31, 5 October 2009 (EDT)

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Priceless - and what is even more funny is the demolishing of the example that Andy uses:


The trouble with that example is, we already know what "κορασιων" means — it means "little girl", the diminutive of the bog-standard Greek word for girl, κοραι. And we know that because people used it on funerary inscriptions (among others) to describe their dead daughters, who they (presumably) didn't want to call temptresses. Ancient Greek had a rich, complex vocabulary, including a complete vocabulary of sexual terms — they had words for temptress, slut, prostitute, dancer, etc. The author of the Gospel of Mark chose to use the word that unequivocally means "little girl" instead of one of the many less savory words he had available, and yet you think you know better what he meant to say? That's not creating an unbiased translation — that's shoehorning your own belief structure into the Bible. Does that honor God? --Jere7my 20:41, 6 October 2009 (EDT)
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Remember that is in response to Andy's claim that "inartful articulation provided by the best terminology available" means that they had to change the phrase "little girl"!

Now what do you do when presented with an argument that would seem to pretty much conclusively show that "little girl" was not used because of a limitation of the language of the original text? Well you grab those goal posts and run like hell...



Fine, κορασιων means "little girl," but that obviously does not fit the context of the story. What is missing from your analysis is that Mark himself was a young boy at the time also. The underlying event was almost certainly a provocative dance by a young woman, and the best translation should reflect the obvious truth. Fisherman Mark may not have been familiar with the "rich, complex" Greek vocabulary to which you allude, and we're not about to change the Greek term Mark used. But let the finest English be used to convey the likely meaning accurately.--Andy Schlafly 22:33, 6 October 2009 (EDT)​
 
eccles said:
Not another version of the Holey Babble. As though there aren't too many now and the NIV are going to do yet another update.

Well I just printed out this page to file in my BS file:

http://www.conservapedia.com/Conservapedia:Lenski_dialog

How dare Andy Schlafly, B.S.E., J.D. question a Scientist of Demski's reputation. What does the B.S.E. stand for "Bull ◊◊◊◊" Extended"?
Well Demski treated him with the scorn he deserves.
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I assume he meant BSEE. By his own account he has a bachelors in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science from Princeton and a JD from Harvard Law School. After a brief search on the Internet, I do not doubt his credentials. However, after a brief review of his Bible project, I do question his ability to write and translate. It is God-awful. And not even really much conservative.
 
Darth Rotor said:
Oh, and if these arch Conservatives touch a hair on the Song of Songs, they have me to answer to, and it ain't gonna be pretty.
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Not to worry about those conservatives. I'm gonna create my own hip-hop transaltion of the Bible. I'll start with Song of Solomon 1:

1 Sol Da Man's Rap.
2 Gotta kiss me wit yo mouth, see. Love ya'll better than Hennessy.
3 The savor of the flavor of her forever makes her purity certainly sure to be an obscurity.
4 However you picture me, you run back to me. In king's tight glove ya glad to be, happily, praising me; better than Hennessy. Upright love.
5 This ***** be awright. Princess love it all night, cuz my color like tents of Kedar are forever the wonderland of Sol Da Man.
6 Don't looka me, cuz I'm a *****. Sun burna me like a rap singer. Mama's daddy's shorty's be angry wit me, hard. Been keepin in da home yards, but ain't keepin up wit da home yards.
7 Tell me, ho. Where you workin', yo? Where ya sleeepin', go? What ya hidin' fo'? In da hood, no?
8 If you not knowin' you be a fine woman, flowin' gettin outta tenement buildings giving shorty's lunches knowing it good.
9 Like a ho, in da hood, who knows to get down on it, ride on it, like Pharaoh's chariot. Tell me 'bout it, seriously.
10 Cheeks like peaches of jewelry, neck filled with my chains of gold bling.
11 Fill the corners of her borders with gold and studs of silver sterling.
12 King at his table setting, she smelling and not forgetting my cologne knowing I be amazing.
13 Some bundle of myrrh my well-beloved unto me. All night betwixt, afixed, amidst her breasts.
14 Beloved a cluster of hugging is nothing but something in the home yards of Engedi.
15 Yo! Lookin' chill y'all. Ho, behold, chill y'all. Got doves eyes, y'all.
16 Yo! Lookin' chill y'all. Ho, behold, chill y'all. Got green beddy-byes, y'all.
17 Sol Da Man in da house. Raisin' black rafters rappin' clappin' snappin' whappin' tappin' zappin' happenin' all about. Rise!
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Well, in the spirit of doing the neighbourly thing and lending a helping hand, here are a couple of suggestions to make the Bible even more palatable to the USA christian-right.

Matthew 10:34: " Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but an assault rifle and two clips of ammo."

Matthew 10:37: "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. But he that loves his guns like verily his dick size depended on it, he shall inherit eternal life."

Matthew 26:52: "Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place and bust a cap in his sorry ass instead: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword. But they that pack heat in .45 ACP, .44 Magnum or .223 Remington, theirs will be eternal life."
 
I've been watching this for some time, after it was signposted on RationalWiki.

It really is good fun to watch, and also kind of pathetic.

The stumbling block to any kind of actual sanity in the project is a certain Mr A. Schlafly. He sees nasty libruls everywhere, and if you disagree with him on basically any subject - you're a liberal (pretty much by by default), probably an atheist, and therefore worthy of being ignored and almost certainly banned from the site.

Anyone who thinks that the JREF mods sometimes seem heavy-handed need to trot over to Conservapedia and see how they treat those with dissenting or differing opinions.

Conservapedia is full of hate and bile - but it's always nice to know how dumb the other guys are :) For a real laugh, just look at their article on President Obama

spoiler : it starts
Conservapedia said:
Barack Hussein Obama II aka Barry Soetoro (allegedly born in Honolulu Aug. 4, 1961) is the 44th President of the United States
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Darat said:
Now what do you do when presented with an argument that would seem to pretty much conclusively show that "little girl" was not used because of a limitation of the language of the original text? Well you grab those goal posts and run like hell...

Fine, κορασιων means "little girl," but that obviously does not fit the context of the story. What is missing from your analysis is that Mark himself was a young boy at the time also. The underlying event was almost certainly a provocative dance by a young woman, and the best translation should reflect the obvious truth. Fisherman Mark may not have been familiar with the "rich, complex" Greek vocabulary to which you allude, and we're not about to change the Greek term Mark used. But let the finest English be used to convey the likely meaning accurately.--Andy Schlafly 22:33, 6 October 2009 (EDT)
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The more I read of Shafly's writings, the more I dislike him.

As he is such the linguistic expert, perhaps he'd like to explain the etymology behind the phonetic similarities between Ignorance and Arrogance.
 
Conservapedia on Barrack Obama, continued:
The Association of American Physicians and Surgeons observed that Obama used techniques of mind control in his campaign, as in this speech: "a light will shine down from somewhere, it will light upon you, you will experience an epiphany, and you will say to yourself, 'I have to vote for Barack.'"[23]
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Not even the laughing dog can express my sentiments.
 
Is Andrew Schlafly Mr. Phyllis Schlafly? If so, maybe we should cut him some slack for having to live with her. It could well drive better men mad.
 
Elizabeth I said:
Is Andrew Schlafly Mr. Phyllis Schlafly? If so, maybe we should cut him some slack for having to live with her. It could well drive better men mad.
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From wiki article Conservapedia

Conservapedia is an English-language wiki-based Web encyclopedia project written from an Americentric, conservative Christian and predominantly young earth creationist point of view. It was started in 2006 by lawyer and social studies teacher Andy Schlafly, son of conservative activist and Eagle Forum founder Phyllis Schlafly.[3][4] He stated that he founded the project because he felt that Wikipedia had a liberal, anti-Christian, and anti-American bias.[5]
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Your point is probably still valid.
 
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fullflavormenthol said:
Rope. Rope would be closer to what is being communicated in that verse. Ghamil being the Aramaic word for both camel and rope. How do you get a rope through the head of a needle? By reducing it to a single strand, which would fit with the constant parable of disciples giving up possesions to follow Jesus.

Seems to me that a hair through needle is the same as saying that something is easy, which is really what they would want to say if writing a "free market" friendly Bible.
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Yes of course rope. I'm sorry, my aramaic isn't what it used to be.

As for 'giving up possessions for treasures in heaven', to me it is clear that Christ was advocating diversifying one's portfolio. 'Thy kingdom come' i.e. heaven = the future. Hence 'treasures in heaven' = futures. In other words, "diversify away from equities into commodity contracts" is what Jesus really meant by this.
 
Bill Hicks said:
They believe the bible is the exact word of God - Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? "I think what God meant to say..." I have never been that confident.
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Had to drop this in, it seemed so relevant.
 
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