Are they insane? Are they completely incompetent at the jobs they do? The people whose jobs it is to maintain and patrol that park can't or won't find the massive stinking wood apes that chuck rocks and sticks at their park visitors, scream like ladies, roar like monsters, bang on trees, approach their camps, and slink about the picnic areas? These fricking Bigfeets are worse than drunken hillbillies.
These creatures you believe are there in that park have to act just like real animals.
Who said I believe they are in Salt Fork? It's possible, but seeing is believing.
This particular animal is going to need about at least 12,000 calories a day. It is going to have to devote considerable time to doing that. Smaller but still sizable animals like bears make themselves known when they come into parks like that because they are inevitably drawn towards human food sources such as garbage recepticals.
Bears are sighted rarely in SFSP. Yes, you are correct the theory is they do feed out of the dumpsters when they can. The problem is the park is not that crowded in the winter except for possibly the Lodge. So the dumpsters are not full of food.
You might say that the Bigfoots as large primates are too smart for that and will avoid doing such things
Correct
but by your own enthusiast organizations thinking, these creatures are habitually approaching humans in the SFSP.
Incorrect
These creatures also have to hump. They need to be able to attract a mate that isn't like its sister. They are going to have to compete for mates and contend with rivals for resources. They are going to have call out to each other and find each other. It is basically impossible that they can do any of this while having eluded detection by the people who run the park. Park officials and staff may light-heartedly encourage some of the many Bigfoot enthusiast visitors with their yearly conference at the park's conference center and money spent in the park to think Bigfoot might be there but if that really was the case, they would know about it and it would be no joke. There's no way that a park for which the sole reason for its existence is recreation is going to allow massive, potentially harmful creatures to run loose about the park unchecked. People who can't understand this are having like some kind of misfire going on in their heads.
Nice opinion, but that's all it is.
For the Bigfoots in SFSP it would be like this...
Oh, me so excited! That sounds like a nice hairy babe calling out to me. Me hope she has a great big rump and nice childbearing hips. If me very lucky she won't be my cousin and maybe even will have nice hairy boobies that stick way out directly from her lower torso just like they do on those hairy babes out in California. Maybe me shall bring her this half eaten corn on the cob me got from the dumpster over by the handicapped picnic area and two of these buffalo chicken wings me yoinked from one of the hairless puny one's campsites. If it turns out to be another one of those puny ones making the babe noises come out from the weird little boxes, me will be so mad me just might throw a pig. Me doesn't want that to happen because pigs aren't easy to find around here. Oh luck be a hairy lady tonight.
For the hairless puny ones in SFSP it would be like this...
Oh, Ronny, come quick! Bring the camcorder. The Bigfoots are panthooting over by the blackberry bushes again. Wow, that dirty white one is really big! Looks like that reddish one is pretty young. I love it when they slap there chests like bongos. The ranger told me September is their mating season. Eww, look at that! The reddish one just had a great big poop. Oh heavens, Ronny. They better not poop near our campsite. Bigfoot poop is just the worst. Remember last year when my sister Jean was camping in the Adirondacks and she found a great big Bigfoot poop in her tent? Ruined the tent, it did. Had to cut the trip short and it was Labor Day weekend just like now. She had to throw out the tent. $149 dollars it was. She got it from the Eddie Bauer outlet on sale. $149 dollars on sale? The pirates!
Oh, Ronny, look! The smaller reddish one is running away. Look, there he goes up the tree. It's funny, you know. You'd think they'd be better climbers with those great big long arms they got. You remember Liz from Punderson. She was at the Christmas party. She had her nose done, by the way. Well anyway, she was here earlier this summer and she said she saw one of the younger Bigfoots fall right out of a tree just over by the resort lodge. Broke its leg, the poor thing did. Screamed to high heaven like a dying lady, it did. They had to shoot the poor thing with the dart gun and take it to the animal shelter. Not before it put the stink on everyone, though. She said she nearly got sick in a bush, it was so bad. The parks magazine did a piece on it with pictures and everything. Oh, you should have seen it. It was such a sight. I have it at home somewhere. They put the Bigfoot in this special wagon they made so that it could roll around till its leg mended and they could let it go. Bigfoot on wheels! I remember the park staff named him J.J. after Burt Reynold's character in "Cannonball Run". Isn't that something?
Oh, there goes the white one! Isn't it strange how they hold their arms straight down when they run? Make them look kind of gimpy, if you ask me. Oh, wait till Jean sees this. Did you get all that?
And that is how real life would sound if Bigfoot were real and lived in Salt Fork.