Matter is just energy formed into atomic particles by the laws of physics.
Therefore matter is an illusion.
I will forgive the non sequitur.
Some 30+ years ago, when I was but a teenager, I too bought the New Age baloney, so I have some sympathy for the dog pile you have invoked upon yourself.
Make no mistake, a dog pile it is, but it is justified.
Most who reached adulthood did. Yet some did not. For many reasons. For some, it was peer pressure, like the WBC loons. For others it was greed, like L.Ron. For others it was gullibility, like the watchtower outfit. For others it was a lack of control over their own lives, like UFO abductees. Bigfoot, area 51, ghosts, dowsing, alien intervention, HAARP, 9/11, benghazi, RFID, NWO, Chemtrails, Apollo hoaxery, LEO hoaxery, Sandy Hook hoaxery, Boston bombing hoaxery, Iraq hoaxery, Iran hoaxery, Crimea hoaxery, financial hoaxery, Tunguska hoaxery and so forth, the list is endless. Given that you buy all of that bovine excrement, surely I can declare that YOU are a hoax. It seems clear that you require no evidence, and that you believe the entire world is a hoax.
Do YOU believe any or all of these, and if not, why not? And if so, why so?