a lot of interesting answers - but I still do not know how to best answer the the original questions put to me by a christians. I did not want to give her the impression that her religious believes are better than science. What would you reply to a christian ?
by the way, camel, I am a woman, and an avatar like yours is indecent and inappropriate in such a forum as this.
Dogbite666 gave the kind of answer I have always used. Here is my 'long version' of what Dogbite666 had to say:
If you were standing at the north pole (I'm Canadian so I prefer to use that one!) and asked me which way is north and I told you there was none from here, would you be troubled with my answer?
If I explained to you that the cardinal directions, North, South, East and West were defined as directions on the surface of the earth, and that based on the definition there is no North of the north pole because every direction is south, would you be left with a philosophical quandary?
Would you stand at the North pole and point up into the sky and say "what is north doing over there and over there?" as you pointed around in various directions up in the sky? I would think not, since you would be attempting to use the term North outside the defined space in which that term is defined to have meaning.
So, now back to the big bang. Time is defined as a means to describe the change in position and energy of that which is contained within the universe after the big bang. By definition, time does not exist prior to the big bang.
So now, why do you insist on standing at the big bang, and pointing off in other directions asking "what is time doing over there and over there?", when you've already been told that time only has one direction at that point.. namely forward?