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What to do with a Bigfoot body?

I think it's important to give credit where credit is due, and so we should all take a moment to thank Shemp for not starting a "What to do with a Bigfoot booty?" thread.

:bigclap
 
I think it's important to give credit where credit is due, and so we should all take a moment to thank Shemp for not starting a "What to do with a Bigfoot booty?" thread.

:bigclap

That would have been the end...
 
Fifteen posts have been dragged off and beaten for bickering. The topic has something to do with what to do with a bigfoot body. (I read that somewhere.) The topic is not each other. Please stick to the topic.
Replying to this modbox in thread will be off topic  Posted By: jsfisher
 
Don't touch it or move it, call the police (which is what everyone should do if they find human-looking remains), and let them handle it.

From there, the coroner or medical examiner would determine if the bones were human and how old they were. If the bones were old or not human, it's not the cops' problem anymore, and if something definitely non-human, but hominid and recent was found, the remains would probably be given to someone at the local university to identity more correctly. I've had a number of professors who have done stuff like this in the past. Usually, the remains end up being bear, or humans that are then repatriated. If it ended up being a new species, an academic paper would likely come out of it.

As an archeologist who has been around human and human-looking bones both on sites and in labs, it's hard for me to see any other scenario happening. It's easy for the footers to talk about shady government agents taking remains and shutting people up, but that's not how things work in the real world. Nonhuman remains aren't the cops' business, and if something confusing shows up, people just keeping handing it off to someone that knows more than them until it's not their problem anymore. Any anthropology department faculty looking at such bones wouldn't hesitate to write something about them and go public to get more funding.
 
The OP speaks of body and corpse, not bones. Also he states that it is a Bigfoot rather than a we don't know what it is yet.
 
The OP speaks of body and corpse, not bones. Also he states that it is a Bigfoot rather than a we don't know what it is yet.

True. I guess when I think of remains, my brain just associates the notion with bones, because that's mostly what I encounter.

If the remains were still a corpse that was unquestionably identifiable as bigfoot, it's even less of an issue. Calling the cops would probably be a good idea, just to be safe, and they'd probably want to have nothing to do with it once they verified it wasn't human. From there, contacting a university would be the best bet. Either that, or sticking it in a freezer and promising an online reveal. Both have obvious academic merit and will help the public accept the existence of this very real creature.
 
I had a funny thought of the act of repatriating genuine Bigfoot remains. You bring it all to a living Bigfoot. "Hello. Here take this. We thought you should have this stuff to do with whatever you all do with this stuff. Sorry for the loss of one of your tribe or whatever it is that you call yourselves. Goodbye."
 
True. I guess when I think of remains, my brain just associates the notion with bones, because that's mostly what I encounter.

If the remains were still a corpse that was unquestionably identifiable as bigfoot, it's even less of an issue. Calling the cops would probably be a good idea, just to be safe, and they'd probably want to have nothing to do with it once they verified it wasn't human. From there, contacting a university would be the best bet. Either that, or sticking it in a freezer and promising an online reveal. Both have obvious academic merit and will help the public accept the existence of this very real creature.

Since you state that Bigfoot is a very real creature - perhaps you can explain why the police or universities do not have a record of such a thing happening?
 
Since you state that Bigfoot is a very real creature - perhaps you can explain why the police or universities do not have a record of such a thing happening?

I meant that sarcastically; I thought the comment about the scientific merit of a freezer body would have given that away. My bad, I guess I still haven't gotten the hang of making my sarcasm obvious in written form. Or maybe bigfoot believers make it harder by stating completely ridiculous things with utter sincerity.
 
I meant that sarcastically; I thought the comment about the scientific merit of a freezer body would have given that away. My bad, I guess I still haven't gotten the hang of making my sarcasm obvious in written form. Or maybe bigfoot believers make it harder by stating completely ridiculous things with utter sincerity.

Sarcasm works because the audience understands the comment is too absurd to be taken seriously.

The problem is that there is no such thing.
 
Lloyd Pye said as a kid he saw a supposed BF corpse at a county fair, in a freezer.

Frozen ribbons of blood were visible, in place where they were floating to the water's surface from what were said to bebullet wounds.

Pye was from Louisiana. The 'owner' of the corpse apparently showed it around there.

This was in Pye's video "everything yo know is wrong"
 
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Lloyd Pye said as a kid he saw a supposed BF corpse at a county fair, in a freezer.

Frozen ribbons of blood were visible, in place where they were floating to the water's surface from what were said to bebullet wounds.

Pye was from Louisiana. The 'owner' of the corpse apparently showed it around there.

This was in Pye's video "everything yo know is wrong"

I saw a great white shark at a country fair..............2000 km from the nearest salt water.
It was pretty damn obvious it was a fiberglass model.

Equally as convincing as a BF in a freezer at a country fair.
 
I saw a great white shark at a country fair..............2000 km from the nearest salt water.
It was pretty damn obvious it was a fiberglass model.

Equally as convincing as a BF in a freezer at a country fair.
See you just don't get it, that "fiberglass model" was protecting the real shark body right beneath it. The same for Bigfoot, even if that country fair piece looked fiberglassy, that was just to protect the real Bigfoot specimen below it from the hazards of the world...that a constantly moving Bigfoot corpse would...run into. Hey, where did you get your BLAARGing degree, at the toilet store?
 
I saw a great white shark at a country fair..............2000 km from the nearest salt water.
It was pretty damn obvious it was a fiberglass model.

Equally as convincing as a BF in a freezer at a country fair.
Bah, if it wasn't a real shark why were four Sharknado documentaries made.
Of course it was real - just when you thought it was safe to go back to the country fair.
 
See you just don't get it, that "fiberglass model" was protecting the real shark body right beneath it. The same for Bigfoot, even if that country fair piece looked fiberglassy, that was just to protect the real Bigfoot specimen below it from the hazards of the world...that a constantly moving Bigfoot corpse would...run into. Hey, where did you get your BLAARGing degree, at the toilet store?

You may be right. That would also explain why Patty's outer layer looks like a suit. She was wearing a protective fur suit!
 
I saw a great white shark at a country fair..............2000 km from the nearest salt water.
It was pretty damn obvious it was a fiberglass model.

Equally as convincing as a BF in a freezer at a country fair.



Nah...it makes perfect sense.

If you think about it, suppose you happened to shoot an unknown weird creature while out deer hunting in a culture rife with BF legends.

a) the freezer is exactly what you'd think of using, to preserve it for show
b) county fair would be a good venue
 

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