The Homosexual Lifestyle

[PhreePhly]

The OP's Description of the Homosexual Lifestyle makes me a sad panda. As a straight man, I have always felt that being homosexual was no big deal. I was always secure enough in my own sexuality, that the "Gay Agenda" was not going to change me. I really could care less what someones sexual orientation was. I fully supported gay marriage and am happy that Don't Ask has been repealed. That was until I read this account of the True Homosexual Lifestyle TM as described by a True Homosexual TM. Things have changed and I believe that I may need to fight against this Agenda.

The first, and possible most offending aspect of this lifestyle was made in the following comment:

"Beer is gross. There's like a worldwide conspiracy to convince people that its actually "good" and that being drunk is "fun". I'm convinced the same people behind this are the same ones propagandizing the utility of criminally uncomfortable high heels."

This here is why the Homosexual Lifestyle must be stopped!!!!

The next statement is more of the same misunderstanding of beer and disparinging nature of the comment drives me to a rage.

"...I say "sure, can I get a Coors Light Tan?" I thank him, return to the concert, give free beer to my friend, and enjoy myself for the rest of the night."

Are you really calling Coors Light Tan a beer?

I need to stop and take a moment before more of my World Views are torn asunder and I run away in horror.

/sarcasm off

 

[I Ratant]

One can go for a 12 hour makeover, or just a couple beers (except Coors, of course).
Same thing happens, cheaper.

 

[Alt+F4]

"...I say "sure, can I get a Coors Light Tan?" I thank him, return to the concert, give free beer to my friend, and enjoy myself for the rest of the night."

Alas, in my homosexual lifestyle, there is no free beer!

 

[NewtonTrino]

I really like Omaha Low cost of living, low crime, there's actually an inordinate number of developer positions here*, and let me tell you one thing about Nebraska (and Iowa) that I see more than anywhere: nice people.

[anecdote mode="awesome"]
So, a few years ago, my uncle came up to visit Houston, TX. Right around that time, I'd just bought a new car. This was uncle's first time in Nebraska, I figured I'd show him around, he asked to drive my car and I let him. Sure, go for it!

Ok, so we pull out to an intersection, there's a red light. We sit there for a moment, it goes green, and I swear not more than 3 milliseconds later my uncle is slamming the hell out of the horn BEEP BEEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP! Holy hell, calm down! Give her time to go!

Another intersection, we're 3 or 4 cars behind, light turns gree-BEEP BEEEP BEEEEEP. What the hell is wrong with you?! They're going to go, just wait for them. This exchange happens at least 4 more times because my uncle realizes, "oh crap, I'm the only one doing this." Good thing too because you'll get a ticket aggressively blasting your horn like that.

He was up here for two weeks. My uncle commented how everyone here is so nice, and nobody uses their horn.
[/anecdote]

I went to Boston once and NEVER ever again. People are mean as hell, driving is a nightmare. I can always pick out the non-natives and out-of-towners, they smile.

Eventually I'll get out of Nebraska, don't know where I'd go


* Development in Omaha is usually with established companies. Boulder Colorado, NY, SoCal, and Redmond have not only a large population, but really good tech schools; we don't really have tech universities, which kind of dries up the market for startups.

I'm certainly not going to argue with you about where you want to live but San Fran is no Boston (and I go to both of them regularly). San Fran has a great gay community and a great software engineering community. Boston has neither.

 

[RandFan]

+1

I think anti-gay people get so upset because being straight works for them, and being intimate with a member of the same gender is gross and profoundly distasteful, so they generalize their own private experience as a rule that should (and must!) be true for everyone.

No joke, but several times in the last year or so, I've run into the phrase "I don't have homophobia, I have homonausea, the thought makes me sick" straight from the mouths of anti-gay people themselves. That pretty much summarizes the entire argument against homosexuality: "two dudes kissing is really really gross (but two girls is totally hawt)". Most anti-gay organizations leave out the parenthetical because it makes them look like jackasses, even though 97.5%* of the men in those organizations enjoy that variety of smut anyway.

* remaining 2.5% of men are statistically likely to enjoy guy on guy, actual figure may be higher among homopho--errrm, homonauseatists.

I love the precision of your stats.

 

[PhreePhly]

+1

I think anti-gay people get so upset because being straight works for them, and being intimate with a member of the same gender is gross and profoundly distasteful, so they generalize their own private experience as a rule that should (and must!) be true for everyone.

No joke, but several times in the last year or so, I've run into the phrase "I don't have homophobia, I have homonausea, the thought makes me sick" straight from the mouths of anti-gay people themselves. That pretty much summarizes the entire argument against homosexuality: "two dudes kissing is really really gross (but two girls is totally hawt)". Most anti-gay organizations leave out the parenthetical because it makes them look like jackasses, even though 97.5%* of the men in those organizations enjoy that variety of smut anyway.

* remaining 2.5% of men are statistically likely to enjoy guy on guy, actual figure may be higher among homopho--errrm, homonauseatists.

See, this is scary. I would probably label myself as having "homonausea". The thought of two dudes tongue-kissing does make me feel "icky" (And two chicks is totally hot). For the longest time this bothered me. It made me feel like I was really some kind of bigot inside. But, really, the fact that I do have that reaction makes the concept that homosexuality is normal much clearer to me.

To have that kind of reaction clearly indicates the this is not a choice. I react due to some inherent sense of orientation. I assume that this is the same (but opposite) for gays. To me, this clearly proves that homosexuality is not a choice, it is simply who you are and it is normal. To discriminate against something that is normal just makes no sense.

I am still going to fight the Homosexual Lifestyle TM on the basis of the anti-beer argument, there is no way you guys are getting away with knocking beer the way Dessie did.

 

[Mark6]

That pretty much summarizes the entire argument against homosexuality: "two dudes kissing is really really gross (but two girls is totally hawt)".

Note that this is not limited to men. I've met (presumably straight) women who said that seeing two girls kissing does not particularly bother them, but two men kissing is gross.

 

[Mark6]

there is no way you guys are getting away with knocking beer the way Dessie did.

At an international beer conference, Budweiser executive, Miller executive and Guiness executive take a break for lunch. Budweiser executive waves down a waiter and announces expansively "I'll have Budweiser, king of beers!"

Not to be outdone, Miller executive shouts "It's Miller time!"

Guinnes executive says "I'll have a Coke".

The other two are amazed. "What, you are not going to have Guiness?"

"Well, I figured you two are not going to drink beer, so I won't either"

 

[PhreePhly]

At an international beer conference, Budweiser executive, Miller executive and Guiness executive take a break for lunch. Budweiser executive waves down a waiter and announces expansively "I'll have Budweiser, king of beers!"

Not to be outdone, Miller executive shouts "It's Miller time!"

Guinnes executive says "I'll have a Coke".

The other two are amazed. "What, you are not going to have Guiness?"

"Well, I figured you two are not going to drink beer, so I won't either"

I've heard it before and I still LOL.

 

[Dessi]

See, this is scary. I would probably label myself as having "homonausea". The thought of two dudes tongue-kissing does make me feel "icky" (And two chicks is totally hot). For the longest time this bothered me. It made me feel like I was really some kind of bigot inside. But, really, the fact that I do have that reaction makes the concept that homosexuality is normal much clearer to me.

To have that kind of reaction clearly indicates the this is not a choice. I react due to some inherent sense of orientation. I assume that this is the same (but opposite) for gays. To me, this clearly proves that homosexuality is not a choice, it is simply who you are and it is normal. To discriminate against something that is normal just makes no sense.

I think that's a normal reaction in most vanilla heterosexual males, the key is understanding that:

anti-gay people get so upset because being straight works for them, and being intimate with a member of the same gender is gross and profoundly distasteful, so they generalize their own private experience as a rule that should (and must!) be true for everyone.

Vanilla male says "I don't like making out with guys, so I'm not gonna"
Anti-gay says "I don't like making out with guys, so I'm not gonna, and neither are gays (men, that is)"

If you ask me, I feel very uncomfortable seeing a couple being too affectionate in public, straight and gay alike. And making out for an audience is just way over the top, almost never appropriate.

I am still going to fight the Homosexual Lifestyle TM on the basis of the anti-beer argument, there is no way you guys are getting away with knocking beer the way Dessie did.

You know whats worse than couples sticking their tongues down each others throat in public? Beer. Good lordy, every time my sister finds a new beer, she brings it home and wants me to try it, and the whole experience goes:

>> "Hey, try this beer?"
<< "Hell no, beer tastes like goat piss."
>> "Seriously, really, just try it."
<< "Nooooo, its terrible."
>> "You don't know that."
<< "I do, I've tried lots of beers and they make my skin crawl."
>> "It won't hurt you"
<< "..."
>> "Here"
<< *sips* "**** it tastes like a shoe"
>> "I thought you said it tastes like go--"
<< "like a shoe dripping in goat piss"

You know what happens afterward? She drinks it, the whole thing. *cringes*

 

[PhreePhly]

Blah, blah, bla....WHAT!!!

>> "Hey, try this beer?"
<< "Hell no, beer tastes like goat piss."
>> "Seriously, really, just try it."
<< "Nooooo, its terrible."
>> "You don't know that."
<< "I do, I've tried lots of beers and they make my skin crawl."
>> "It won't hurt you"
<< "..."
>> "Here"
<< *sips* "**** it tastes like a shoe"
>> "I thought you said it tastes like go--"
<< "like a shoe dripping in goat piss"

You know what happens afterward? She drinks it, the whole thing. *cringes*

There you go again!! One day you will learn to respect the Lord Beer. I am about ready to go CrazyPhelps (TM) and start protesting whenever you drink coffee. Of course, you are probably going to tell me that you don't drink coffee, right?

 

[PhreePhly]

If you ask me, I feel very uncomfortable seeing a couple being too affectionate in public, straight and gay alike. And making out for an audience is just way over the top, almost never appropriate.

I have to agree. I'm fine with hand holding or a quick kiss, but the whole make-out session on a bus, plane or park bench is just too much, hetero or homo. Get a room, seriously!

Of course, I'm going through a divorce, so I could be a bit biased <grin>. All romantic stuff just makes me angry. Relationships suck <grin>.

 

[I Ratant]

At an international beer conference, Budweiser executive, Miller executive and Guiness executive take a break for lunch. Budweiser executive waves down a waiter and announces expansively "I'll have Budweiser, king of beers!"

Not to be outdone, Miller executive shouts "It's Miller time!"

Guinnes executive says "I'll have a Coke".

The other two are amazed. "What, you are not going to have Guiness?"

"Well, I figured you two are not going to drink beer, so I won't either"

.
Coors is widely known as the same thing as making love in a canoe.
It's *********** near water.

 

[I Ratant]

I think that's a normal reaction in most vanilla heterosexual males, the key is understanding that:



Vanilla male says "I don't like making out with guys, so I'm not gonna"
Anti-gay says "I don't like making out with guys, so I'm not gonna, and neither are gays (men, that is)"

If you ask me, I feel very uncomfortable seeing a couple being too affectionate in public, straight and gay alike. And making out for an audience is just way over the top, almost never appropriate.


You know whats worse than couples sticking their tongues down each others throat in public? Beer. Good lordy, every time my sister finds a new beer, she brings it home and wants me to try it, and the whole experience goes:

>> "Hey, try this beer?"
<< "Hell no, beer tastes like goat piss."
>> "Seriously, really, just try it."
<< "Nooooo, its terrible."
>> "You don't know that."
<< "I do, I've tried lots of beers and they make my skin crawl."
>> "It won't hurt you"
<< "..."
>> "Here"
<< *sips* "**** it tastes like a shoe"
>> "I thought you said it tastes like go--"
<< "like a shoe dripping in goat piss"

You know what happens afterward? She drinks it, the whole thing. *cringes*

.
Where at do all these "tastes like _______" experiences come from?
Never drank from the dog's bowl, or goat piss, or from a shoe..
Who would?

 

[Babbylonian]

Note that this is not limited to men. I've met (presumably straight) women who said that seeing two girls kissing does not particularly bother them, but two men kissing is gross.

I've heard the same thing and it leads me to think that it's a cultural bias instead of a biological one. Men have been represented in the culture as pretty much only showing affection to women.

How many times does a man/man hug in a TV show/movie end with one or both of them saying something about feeling uncomfortable, either about the length of the hug or just the fact of the man/man hug itself? And that's just a hug! Since men and women are exposed to [essentially] the same media, it's understandable that the majority would be at least somewhat more uncomfortable with man-on-man love than they would girl-on-girl love.

A good example of this is the show 'Scrubs.' The two main doctors (JD and Turk) are extremely affectionate with each other. Their characters and the characters around them constantly comment on how weird or "gay" it is, when it's just "guy love between two guys!" Any two female characters could have long hugs, hold hands, etc. and there's little or no stigma attached, nor is there the automatic suspicion/assumption of homosexuality.

It's a shame because hugging is awesome!

 

[Dessi]

.
Where at do all these "tastes like _______" experiences come from?
Never drank from the dog's bowl, or goat piss, or from a shoe..
Who would?

Designer fricken jelly beans. What flavor can't you find?

 

[TheWeirdSkeptic]

Holy crap another normal person lives in Omaha.

 

[Alan]

Note that this is not limited to men. I've met (presumably straight) women who said that seeing two girls kissing does not particularly bother them, but two men kissing is gross.

A lot of women do like two men kissing, though.

 

[Dessi]

A good example of this is the show 'Scrubs.' The two main doctors (JD and Turk) are extremely affectionate with each other. Their characters and the characters around them constantly comment on how weird or "gay" it is, when it's just "guy love between two guys!" Any two female characters could have long hugs, hold hands, etc. and there's little or no stigma attached, nor is there the automatic suspicion/assumption of homosexuality.

See also: bromance

 

[Giordano]

Dessi,

Have you considered what a disservice your OP is for the homophobes who drop by this Forum? They spend hours every day thinking in intimate detail about what gay people do (or what they imagine gay people do). It helps keep them alive. Now, after being bitterly disappointed to hear that you are leading much the same life as anyone else, they will have to go back to their second favorite fantasy: how atheists like myself will be slowly tortured in hell. Your fault!

By the way- I'm fully in support of the gay part, but consider your dislike of beer as highly questionable and perhaps requiring a Constitutional Amendment to ban that kind of viewpoint.