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The 2016 USA Presidential Election Humor Thread

Puppycow

Penultimate Amazing
Puppycow
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Post the best jokes you find about this campaign cycle here, or if you are witty, post your own! :D

To start things off:
 

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^ I see what you did there. ;)

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Jules Galen said:
I know 10 people who would vote for that guy in a millisecond.

What's the deal?
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Are we heading towards "Politics is Serious Business" territory? Since you say you subscribe to the theory that no one should be laughed at, maybe a thread entitled "..... Election Humor" isn't the place for you. Satire, parody and ridicule are traditional methods of commenting on politics.
 
I'm actually considering running next time, on the grounds that clearly anybody can do it. I'd just dumb down my usual nonsense and ramp up the rudeness, and tell people what they want to hear whether it makes sense or not. I'm not interested in power, I'd just do it for the laughs. And that pension is pretty sweet, too, for just four years of work.
 
I was reading an article about Arnold Schwarzenegger endorsing John Kasich at a campaign event. The event is on YouTube for your viewing pleasure. A commenter wrote the following



Arnie, Kasich is about two weeks from being terminated. If Hillary's true lies come out, there won't be a need for a predator for the democrats. Rubio is going commando and is exposed. Cruz the barbarian will no doubt be the last action hero for the pubs and play kindergarten cop to trump's erasure of the GOP. After all the collarteral damage...it may well be the end of days for the GOP as we know it.

Additional comment

On the R side, we do not know who will be the last Runnimg Man.
 
If you wondered if you were alone in thinking Trump talks like a drunk person...

 
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Joe Biden said:
Ted Cruz? An inspiration to every kid in America who worries that he’ll never be able to run for president because nobody likes him. He’s running. And look, I told Barack, if you really, really want to remake the Supreme Court, nominate Cruz. Before you know it, you’ll have eight vacancies.
Click to expand...


Source
 
What is the difference between Cruz and Trump?
Cruz thinks God has picked Cruz to be His head honcho on earth.
Trump thinks he is God.
 
bytewizard said:
Edited by jsfisher: 
Moderated content redacted
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I wasn't offended. Guess the mods thought it was off-topic.
 
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