Teen Parents/ Parenting

[dtugg]

I think I am going to head to the local high school and find as many 16 year old girls to impregnate as possible. It really shouldn't be very hard. I do have to remember to give them a fake name so I am not on the hook for child support.

 

[Piscivore]

Stevie, let me throw you an entirely non-hypothetical question. When my son was four, he had a violent temper (I had one too, as a child, all the way through to my late teens). We had never spanked or hit him, and when he wasn't angry he was very sweet and loving. Nevertheless, something upset him one day to the point where he attempted to beat me up. He was punching and kicking me as hard as he could, he wanted to hurt me that much.

What would you do in this situation, with your kid?

 

[SteveHamilton]

Evidence?


I'm sorry, but the society you are a part of says it is. So does research.


Acutally, they started in the Victorian era, more'n a hundred years ago. Learn the facts before you start pontificating.


Total non-sequitor. "Discipline" =/= "hitting"


That's the "perfect solution" fallacy. An alternative parenting style to hitting kids does not have to be 'perfect' for hitting kids to be detrimental.


Which studies have shown is statistically in the cards for kids that get hit. Look at your own example- you say you got hit as a child... did that adequately prepare you to understand the consequences of having unprotected sex with a minor?


I said already- as a lack of imagination, education, and/or emotional maturity and a failure of parenting.

How old is your child? have you hit it already?

Actually look at our Child Protective Service, they havent been around very long at all, and if they(child abuse laws) started in the Victorian era, they didnt follow through for very long. I may have had sex, but that was as a minor, and fyi the protection broke. I just got very unlucky. As for my child, is none of your concern. Also that didnt answer my question. You assumed what I meant by hitting your child meant to backhand them until I deem it punished then telling them to go to there room. No I plan on doing the same thing my Father did to me. Talk to me, then spank me, normally with a belt, and less then 5 times, being sent to my room to think about it, later he would bring me out and ask me what ive learned, and boy I learned quick.
Before you act all high and mighty yourself, realise that im not saying to anyone that they should choose mine over yours, or yours over mine. It should be up to the parent, now I need to drive lord knows where, for whatever godly unknown reason my GF's dad wants me to.

 

[Piscivore]

Actually look at our Child Protective Service, they havent been around very long at all, and if they(child abuse laws) started in the Victorian era, they didnt follow through for very long.

You don't even know what you are talking about, do you? You're just bluffing up your justifications and hoping no one notices. Grow up, learn something, and stop trying to pretend you've got this all figured out. The only thing you've got here is "papa whupped me with a belt, and I think I'm okay".

I may have had sex, but that was as a minor, and fyi the protection broke. I just got very unlucky.

Take some responsibility for your own actions. "Luck".

As for my child, is none of your concern.

Yes, it is. Child abuse is everyone's concern, and you are here trying to get us to make you feel justified in hitting your kid.

Also that didnt answer my question. You assumed what I meant by hitting your child meant to backhand them until I deem it punished then telling them to go to there room.

Don't assume what I "assume". Hitting with a belt is hitting.

No I plan on doing the same thing my Father did to me. Talk to me, then spank me, normally with a belt, and less then 5 times, being sent to my room to think about it, later he would bring me out and ask me what ive learned, and boy I learned quick.

I did very much the same thing with my kids- minus the belt- and it still worked. Fancy that.

Before you act all high and mighty yourself, realise that im not saying to anyone that they should choose mine over yours, or yours over mine.

I am. I'm saying that anyone that need to use hitting their kid as their planned and only form of discipline is lacking of imagination, education, and/or emotional maturity, and is a failure as a parent.

It should be up to the parent,

"Up to a point".

...now I need to drive lord knows where, for whatever godly unknown reason my GF's dad wants me to.

There's the responsibility you seem to have failed to learn from getting spanked.

 

[Nursefoxfire]

Actually look at our Child Protective Service, they havent been around very long at all, and if they(child abuse laws) started in the Victorian era, they didnt follow through for very long. I may have had sex, but that was as a minor, and fyi the protection broke. I just got very unlucky. As for my child, is none of your concern. Also that didnt answer my question. You assumed what I meant by hitting your child meant to backhand them until I deem it punished then telling them to go to there room. No I plan on doing the same thing my Father did to me. Talk to me, then spank me, normally with a belt, and less then 5 times, being sent to my room to think about it, later he would bring me out and ask me what ive learned, and boy I learned quick.Before you act all high and mighty yourself, realise that im not saying to anyone that they should choose mine over yours, or yours over mine. It should be up to the parent, now I need to drive lord knows where, for whatever godly unknown reason my GF's dad wants me to.

Not quick enough, apparently. Didn't they just kick you out of their house?

 

[gph]

There's lots of well adjusted people walking the earth today that were never hit as a child and no doubt lots that were hit. The former flies in the face of the supposed virtues of corporal punishment.

And the latter flies in the face of the supposed harm of corporal punishment.


Maybe, just maybe, any blanket statement saying that corporal punishment is "good parenting" or "bad parenting" would be overly broad.

People have adjusted coming from childhood violence therefore it's not harmful and maybe even a good thing? Even when it's obvious, by the well adjusted adults that were never hit, that childhood violence is unnecessary?

You didn't answer this question:

Is it acceptable for one adult to hit another to achieve a goal? If not, why not?

Why is that unacceptable? What does it say about the person doing the hitting? Why is that not applicable to an adult hitting a child?

 

[SteveHamilton]

Stevie, let me throw you an entirely non-hypothetical question. When my son was four, he had a violent temper (I had one too, as a child, all the way through to my late teens). We had never spanked or hit him, and when he wasn't angry he was very sweet and loving. Nevertheless, something upset him one day to the point where he attempted to beat me up. He was punching and kicking me as hard as he could, he wanted to hurt me that much.

What would you do in this situation, with your kid?

Sorry it took me so long, but in this situation, I would let him. Believe it or not, I can see if something is wrong with a child, especially mine. I would wait for him to calm down, though id dodge the head shots (both). After I would ask him what it was about, if there was no reason, send him/her to their room, till they are ready to talk. Now if it was something else like breaking someone elses stuff, or beating someone else up, I would definately stop him/her.

 

[SteveHamilton]

Not quick enough, apparently. Didn't they just kick you out of their house?

Yes, but what do you think they did that for?

 

[Emet]

Sorry it took me so long, but in this situation, I would let him. Believe it or not, I can see if something is wrong with a child, especially mine. I would wait for him to calm down, though id dodge the head shots (both). After I would ask him what it was about, if there was no reason, send him/her to their room, till they are ready to talk. Now if it was something else like breaking someone elses stuff, or beating someone else up, I would definately stop him/her.

So what has your hypothetical child learned from you allowing him to hit you first, then discuss it later?

 

[Piscivore]

Sorry it took me so long, but in this situation, I would let him. Believe it or not, I can see if something is wrong with a child, especially mine. I would wait for him to calm down, though id dodge the head shots (both).

Head shots are not the danger from an enraged four year old.

After I would ask him what it was about, if there was no reason,

I repeat, he's four. he doesn't have any damn idea. And "reason" doesn't enter into it. It's 100% emotion.

send him/her to their room,

Wrong move. You've just taught him that that kind of behaviour separates him from your affection. Coupled with your spankings when he disobeys, he learns that your acceptance of him is conditional to his behaviour. Have fun during those teen years when he's trying to develop his own personality and testing the boundaries.

You seem to really like "send him to his room". I thought you didn't like "time outs"? Or is that just because you know "spanking" is the wrong answer and you can't think of anything else?

till they are ready to talk.

He's FOUR. What do you expect him to talk about? And "waiting till he's ready" is the wrong answer. He won't know. You are the parent, you have to take the reins.

Now if it was something else like breaking someone elses stuff, or beating someone else up, I would definately stop him/her.

How? Spanking him? That will teach him Anger=Violence, and your position as parent is based on your size and ability to dominate. Have fun when he's bigger, stronger and faster than you are, and doesn't know what to do with anger besides "hit or get hit".

 

[SteveHamilton]

Piscivore:You don't even know what you are talking about, do you? You're just bluffing up your justifications and hoping no one notices. Grow up, learn something, and stop trying to pretend you've got this all figured out. The only thing you've got here is "papa whupped me with a belt, and I think I'm okay".

Me: Only to what our great and grand education system tells us, unless you wanna say different.

Piscivore:Take some responsibility for your own actions. "Luck".

me:I have, Im working, Im in school passing with 90s+, and I am learning how to drive (btw today was the first time i drove on the interstate, NOT A FUN THING AT FIRST)

Piscivore:Yes, it is. Child abuse is everyone's concern, and you are here trying to get us to make you feel justified in hitting your kid.

me:Child abuse is everyone's concern after a point, which is constantly beating your child, or unsafe home to where its unsanitary, the child getting sick all the time and getting no help. Who made you the one that decides what i decide to do to discipline or not? Makeing me follow your way would be like me telling you its against the law not to follow mine =p. If violence isnt the answer, boy does our country have alot to learn then, and our leaders would have to lead by example.
Your method is about the same to what we did to Hitler, we used appeasement to keep away from violence, and he just kept getting worse and worse, the same is with spoiled rotten children.

Piscivoreon't assume what I "assume". Hitting with a belt is hitting.

Me: your right, I shouldnt assume, hitting is hitting, but its a hell of alot better to the alternative.

Piscivore:I did very much the same thing with my kids- minus the belt- and it still worked. Fancy that.

Me: Well good for you, but that wont work in every household, because everyone is different.

Piscivore:I am. I'm saying that anyone that need to use hitting their kid as their planned and only form of discipline is lacking of imagination, education, and/or emotional maturity, and is a failure as a parent.

Me: You keep saying that, but who are you to judge whos a failure and who isnt? Your saying that you on your high and mighty throne know whats right and wrong, but you arent God. Therefore step down, and cut that act.

Piscivore:"Up to a point".

Me: agreed.

Piscivore:There's the responsibility you seem to have failed to learn from getting spanked.

Me: Which is....? For that quote all I said is I have no clue as to where im driving my GFs dad. It turned out we went out to eat, and went shopping at a mall for a 2 TB wireless harddrive, and 2 4GB RAM sticks... my computers Ram is lacking, recently found out i only had 1GB, but had the capability of 4GB.

CONCLUSION ---> Ive found out my computer absolute sucks, Parenting is a huge controversy, and I am very hungry -.-

 

[SteveHamilton]

Head shots are not the danger from an enraged four year old.


I repeat, he's four. he doesn't have any damn idea. And "reason" doesn't enter into it. It's 100% emotion.


Wrong move. You've just taught him that that kind of behaviour separates him from your affection. Coupled with your spankings when he disobeys, he learns that your acceptance of him is conditional to his behaviour. Have fun during those teen years when he's trying to develop his own personality and testing the boundaries.

You seem to really like "send him to his room". I thought you didn't like "time outs"? Or is that just because you know "spanking" is the wrong answer and you can't think of anything else?


He's FOUR. What do you expect him to talk about? And "waiting till he's ready" is the wrong answer. He won't know. You are the parent, you have to take the reins.


How? Spanking him? That will teach him Anger=Violence, and your position as parent is based on your size and ability to dominate. Have fun when he's bigger, stronger and faster than you are, and doesn't know what to do with anger besides "hit or get hit".

Look lady/dude, when I was 4 I already knew how to read music, and I knew first aid skills. There is no excuse a 4 year old could not talk to me about what he felt.
Another case, I recently babysat a 2 year old who, in the time i went to the bathroom, was able to open a door, deadbolted, and chained, with a chair from the next room, undress and run 2 blocks down the street. If your going to mply a 4 year old isnt smart to express what they are feeling/ thinking, you have a very low standard for that age.

 

[SteveHamilton]

So what has your hypothetical child learned from you allowing him to hit you first, then discuss it later?

Well if a child is that enraged out of nowhere, which is very rare (and i would get them evaluated by a pych)=p, then nothing really could stop them. hitting them in that situation i find wrong, it teaches them that expressing their emotion would be wrong, starting to sound like whats-their-name inthis thread, but this is one situation i dont approve of hitting them

 

[Emet]

Well if a child is that enraged out of nowhere, which is very rare (and i would get them evaluated by a pych)=p, then nothing really could stop them. hitting them in that situation i find wrong, it teaches them that expressing their emotion would be wrong, starting to sound like whats-their-name inthis thread, but this is one situation i dont approve of hitting them

It's actually very common. Children lack impulse control. Don't you think you could immediately stop a 4 year old from hitting? Is it a proper way for them to express their emotions?

 

[SteveHamilton]

It's actually very common. Children lack impulse control. Don't you think you could immediately stop a 4 year old from hitting? Is it a proper way for them to express their emotions?

What do you suggest in that type of situation?

 

[SteveHamilton]

Alright peace for now, im going to go play a game and go to bed. If you have suggestions or comments about the parenting, not "violence is not the answer" but a more indepth reason, also not like "lacking imagination" and "failure as a parent", feel free to leave them here. Also Piscivore, if you have any good tips for parenting vs. what I stated above, please send me a copy via PM so I can read it faster and pick off from there, been fun discussing this with ya! ^^

ETA: Will someone explain "troll" to me? Last minute thought as I closed my browser :/ Thanks

 

[Ryokan]

ETA: Will someone explain "troll" to me? Last minute thought as I closed my browser :/ Thanks

If you're a teenager and need to have the term troll explained to you, that's pretty much evidence you are one. Either you're not who you're saying you are, or you're feigning ignorance.

 

[SteveHamilton]

If you're a teenager and need to have the term troll explained to you, that's pretty much evidence you are one. Either you're not who you're saying you are, or you're feigning ignorance.

That explained so much =p. Just add sacasism. Im a teenager and I have never heard of the term Troll.

 

[Toke]

There is a cute little trick to appearing knowledgeable on the net.
It involves having a second tab open with google or Wikipedia, when you come across a term you don't know, simply search it.

 

[Piscivore]

Piscivore:You don't even know what you are talking about, do you? You're just bluffing up your justifications and hoping no one notices. Grow up, learn something, and stop trying to pretend you've got this all figured out. The only thing you've got here is "papa whupped me with a belt, and I think I'm okay".

Me: Only to what our great and grand education system tells us, unless you wanna say different.

If you'll notice, I do say different. Have you had specific parenting classes in HS?

Piscivore:Take some responsibility for your own actions. "Luck".

me:I have, Im working, Im in school passing with 90s+, and I am learning how to drive (btw today was the first time i drove on the interstate, NOT A FUN THING AT FIRST)

Then you need to accept that having a child is a possible consequence of having sex, and not blame a faulty contraceptive. This isn't a bad boss run on WOW, this is a human life that you are responsible for. Own your actions.

Piscivore:Yes, it is. Child abuse is everyone's concern, and you are here trying to get us to make you feel justified in hitting your kid.

me:Child abuse is everyone's concern after a point, which is constantly beating your child, or unsafe home to where its unsanitary, the child getting sick all the time and getting no help. Who made you the one that decides what i decide to do to discipline or not?

Both of us being part of a larger society.

Makeing me follow your way would be like me telling you its against the law not to follow mine =p. If violence isnt the answer, boy does our country have alot to learn then, and our leaders would have to lead by example.
Your method is about the same to what we did to Hitler, we used appeasement to keep away from violence, and he just kept getting worse and worse, the same is with spoiled rotten children.

False analogy. To an egregious degree. Adults are not children, and neither is a nation. They are not the same thing at all, they aren't even similar. Would you hit another adult for disobeying you?

Piscivoreon't assume what I "assume". Hitting with a belt is hitting.

Me: your right, I shouldnt assume, hitting is hitting, but its a hell of alot better to the alternative.

As I've said, there isn't a single alternative. That you still insist there is after being shown otherwise indicates either a lack of maturity (such that you can't admit when you're wrong), or insincerity in your posts here (which would be the "troll" thing you claim not to know, despite indicating on another thread you are an active MMO player).

Piscivore:I did very much the same thing with my kids- minus the belt- and it still worked. Fancy that.

Me: Well good for you, but that wont work in every household, because everyone is different.

Try it.

Piscivore:I am. I'm saying that anyone that need to use hitting their kid as their planned and only form of discipline is lacking of imagination, education, and/or emotional maturity, and is a failure as a parent.

Me: You keep saying that, but who are you to judge whos a failure and who isnt?

A parent with 17 years experience more than you. If you don't have the intelligence to listen to people who've been down the road you're starting out on, it's going to go hard on you.

Your saying that you on your high and mighty throne know whats right and wrong,

I know what works and what doesn't. It's called experience. Look it up.

but you arent God. Therefore step down, and cut that act.

Perfect solution again. I don't have to be God, I just have to know more than you. Do you really think you know everything there is to know about parenting? did you get a cheat code no one else knows?

Piscivore:"Up to a point".

Me: agreed.

And that point, in our country, in our time, is "hitting a kid" Deal with it, move away, get your kid taken away... it's your choice. But you're not selling anyone on your purile and naive notions.

Piscivore:There's the responsibility you seem to have failed to learn from getting spanked.

Me: Which is....?

That your life doesn't belong to you anymore, not for the next 18 years, and especially not for the next five.