TAM7 Talent Show

hcmom said:
Bring enough dark chocolate Tim-Tams and you can just stand there throwing them out to the audience and win.
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Okay, I'll spill.

My original proposal was that I would sing George Hrab's song Skeptic (hopefully accompanied by George himself) while tearing a stack of telephone books in half. I was hoping that a number of TAM attendees could pack a phone book at the bottom of their luggage (since I won't have the baggage allowance). This was the preparation I mentioned upthread.

You see, my friend Jason from the Nonsense Podcast (Episode Zero being recorded over Easter!) is organising a fundraiser. We plan to tear phone books for charity.

In fact, we plan to set a Guinness World Record for tearing phone books. Three, actually. One for the most phone books torn by a group, one for the most phone books torn by an individual, and one for the largest number of people simultaneously tearing phone books. The paperwork is in, and The Big Rip is scheduled to go ahead in September.

Then I got an idea - if everyone could pack a phone book, we could all tear phone books. Imagine a thousand TAM attendees, all tearing phone books simultaneously! Would that not at least rival last year's Spoon Bending? Would that not be awesomely fun?
 
Tearing the phone book from the area I live would be rather, well, weenie-ish. More like a pamphlet, really. I'm in!
 
Hey Arth, have you ever swung a sledgehammer at a guy laying on a bed of nails before? I'm looking for an assistant, and your experience with swinging medieval weaponry could come in handy :)
 
never mind....(in my best Emily Litella voice)
 
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well tearing a phone book for Spofford Village NH isn't that much of a feat.

It was funny when someone new moved to the area, and her young child needed a boost at the dinner table. She asked if I had a phone book. I pulled it out. The quarter inch didn't help a lot.
 
I just registered for the Talent Show, and TAM's organizers promised they would put me on the fast track for approval, since they know me so well.

Me, and some of my friends, are going to perform an act we like to call The Aristocrats.
 
I will not say something mean, I will not say something mean, I will not say something mean.....
 
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