Scientific Comedy

UnrepentantSinner said:
How mechanical engineers flowchart a problem.

----------------- Does it move ----------

-------Yes--------------------------------------No

Is it supposed to?-----------------------------Is it supposed to?

No ------------- Yes ------------------------ No-----------Yes
|
| ............................. Don't mess with it
Duct tape................................................................ WD40
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I have tears in my eyes. Please don't tell another one, or I fear I'll die of dehydration.
 
A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are having lunch across the street from an empty building. They see two people walk in. Later, three people walk out.
Physicist: The measurement wasn't accurate...
Biologist: They have reproduced!
Mathematician: If now exactly one person walks into that building, it will be empty again.
 
jt512 said:
Statistical version of Murphy's Law: If there is a 50–50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of ten it will.
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That reminds me of what I will call Pratchett's Law of Statistical Narrativium.

A million-to-one chance is an absolute certainty.
 
If it doesn't fit, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Measure with a micrometer; mark with chalk, cut with an axe.

Fred
 
Nowhere Man said:
If it doesn't fit, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Measure with a micrometer; mark with chalk, cut with an axe.

Fred
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I have that last one on a Murphy's Law poster. I took it down though, because a black poster with white text (in two columns) just wasn't as visually pleasing as I'd thought.
 
Wait! Don't leave now! I'm just warming up!

A coprophage walks into a bar. Bartender says "Hey, what's with the ****-eating grin?"

What do crossdressing psychiatrists wear? Freudian Slips!

A non-conductor was pulled over for drunk driving, but they couldn't charge him!
 
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