Scientific Comedy

[Bram Kaandorp]

How mechanical engineers flowchart a problem.

----------------- Does it move ----------

-------Yes--------------------------------------No

Is it supposed to?-----------------------------Is it supposed to?

No ------------- Yes ------------------------ No-----------Yes
|
| ............................. Don't mess with it
Duct tape................................................................ WD40

I have tears in my eyes. Please don't tell another one, or I fear I'll die of dehydration.

 

[Bram Kaandorp]

My dad's version of Mechanical Engineering 101:

"Son, if brute force isn't working, you're not using enough."

It isn't called "percussive maintenance" for nothing.

 

[Vorpal]

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are having lunch across the street from an empty building. They see two people walk in. Later, three people walk out.
Physicist: The measurement wasn't accurate...
Biologist: They have reproduced!
Mathematician: If now exactly one person walks into that building, it will be empty again.

 

[cwalner]

Statistical version of Murphy's Law: If there is a 50–50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of ten it will.

That reminds me of what I will call Pratchett's Law of Statistical Narrativium.

A million-to-one chance is an absolute certainty.

 

[Nowhere Man]

If it doesn't fit, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Measure with a micrometer; mark with chalk, cut with an axe.

Fred

 

[Bram Kaandorp]

If it doesn't fit, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Measure with a micrometer; mark with chalk, cut with an axe.

Fred

I have that last one on a Murphy's Law poster. I took it down though, because a black poster with white text (in two columns) just wasn't as visually pleasing as I'd thought.

 

[shemp]

Wait! Don't leave now! I'm just warming up!

A coprophage walks into a bar. Bartender says "Hey, what's with the ****-eating grin?"

What do crossdressing psychiatrists wear? Freudian Slips!

A non-conductor was pulled over for drunk driving, but they couldn't charge him!