Santa Is Satan --- A Fundie Explains

Isn't Santa spanish for saint? Wait... Catholics have lots of saints, and we all know who's in charge there...further proof!
 
AYE! Ye'll be laughin t'ither side o yer gobs when ye're up tae yer oxters in HELLFIRE!

Bunch o' smert-ersed HEATHEN gomerels.
I telt ye: Wullie Soutar fae Portlethen! Fake beirdie, big black bits an a rid suit, walking up Guild Street puffed up wi ' satanic pride, straight oot the job centre.

Fit pert kin yeez no unnerstaun?
 
Upchurch said:
I've read recently that "Santa Claus" is a bastardization of "Saint Nicholas" (i.e. "Sint-Ni Cholas" = "Santa Claus"). Has anyone else heard that?
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I believe that was taught in Catholic School when I was a victem, er, student about a half century ago.

It fit into that whole Catholic "They steal all the good parts from our religion and never gives us credit" thing that they still have going today.
 
Soapy Sam said:
AYE! Ye'll be laughin t'ither side o yer gobs when ye're up tae yer oxters in HELLFIRE!
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Ach lad, dinnae waste yer time on yon daft jobbies. Theyz no' a cloo aboot Wullie, an' ken sassenachs wud fair pish themsels if thi wuz onywhur ner Portlethen likes.

ETA: Jings
 
Odin said:
Isn't Santa spanish for saint? Wait... Catholics have lots of saints, and we all know who's in charge there...further proof!
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You know, I kinda liked that tract up until the part where Chick says Catholic wafers are made from real live demons...
 
Santa as Satan

In the '70s, there was a MAD Magazine comic of Santa Claus giving away piles of presents to a family. My memory's a little dim but I think he was giving away gifts on the order of a yacht and/or sports car to the father, for example. Then he waves good-bye to the family members, who are all very happy, and starts to leave via a chimney with a fire still burning in it, and in the last panel, revealed only to the reader, he's the devil.
 
The French name for Santa Claus is "Pere Noel" (accents omitted). This can be rearranged as:

Open Leer
no peeler
eel e-porn

Therefore in the French-speaking world, this familiar holiday character is really a disguised form of internet erotica for aquatic animals of the order Anguilliformes. Who knew?
 
Also include:

Lone Peer

Perhaps Santa Claus is a member of the British House of Lords. His involvement with eel pornography would probably explain his loneliness. It all fits!
 
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