Santa Is Satan --- A Fundie Explains

[delphi_ote]

So Google image search results and anagrams constitute evidence in the fundie world these days?

Then I will present conclusive proof that Jesus is gay:

and the most clinching proof of all:

Also, his name backwards is "Susej"

I think we can all guess what THAT means.

ETA: wait. I almost forgot the out of context suggestive bible verse:

And Jesus put forth his hand, and touched him, saying, I will... Matthew 8:3

 

[control_zape]

Then why did my elven blade start to shine blue when you entered the thread?

That works with orcs only.

 

[Santa666]

Then why did my elven blade start to shine blue when you entered the thread?

Wielding a toy lightsaber that runs on batteries does not constitute having possession of a magical sword.

BTW, I utilize a collossal army of toy-making, carol-singing, death elves.


Santa

 

[KingMerv00]

Anagrams:

Jesus Christ = Such Jest Sir

Pat Robertson = Breast, PRONTO!

 

[KingMerv00]

Easter Bunny = A Teensy Burn

 

[Manny]

Heh.

Lamb of God = MBA of gold.

 

[Ryokan]

That works with orcs only.

False! (Re-)Read The Hobbit!

 

[luchog]

False! (Re-)Read The Hobbit!

Tolkienian goblins are orcs, specifically, they're a distinct race/ethnicity belonging to the Misty Mountains. Other races are named as well, such as the Black Uruks of Mordor. The origins are somewhat confused, particularly once one gets into the histories, but appear to be composed of a twisted and corrupt cross-breeding of elves and men (not by Sauron, but by Morgoth) that resulted in a lot of divergence in the different orc population. A characteristic that Peter Jackson captured very well in the LotR movies (though he did screw up a few details).

 

[Bone_Vulture]

Holy ghost = shy hot log

 

[Red Siegfried]

You're a couple hundred years off, but close enough.

Who was Saint Nicholas?

http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=38

It's right here. The whole origin of hanging a stocking started with children filling their shoes with hay for St. Nicholas' horse and receiving candy or small gifts in return.

My grandparents still celebrate St. Nicholas' Day on December 6 by giving us stockings stuffed with gifts and candy. Kind of like an early dress rehearsal for Christmas!

 

[Red Siegfried]

Tolkienian goblins are orcs, specifically, they're a distinct race/ethnicity belonging to the Misty Mountains. Other races are named as well, such as the Black Uruks of Mordor. The origins are somewhat confused, particularly once one gets into the histories, but appear to be composed of a twisted and corrupt cross-breeding of elves and men (not by Sauron, but by Morgoth) that resulted in a lot of divergence in the different orc population. A characteristic that Peter Jackson captured very well in the LotR movies (though he did screw up a few details).

An if I remember right, in the book the Uruk-hai were crossbred orcs and Southron (human) women. Icky.

 

[treble_head]

Could it be... MMMM. SATAN???

 

[Cthulhu]

Bow down, bow down
before the power of Santa
or be crushed, be crushed
by his jolly boots of doom!

- Invader Zim

 

[jj]

This only works in English, though.

Whatever this American might think, USA is not the center of the universe.

Um, err, um,

oh, never mind. What I'm thinking probably vioates several rules, not to say geographic-anatomical confusion, too.

 

[Zep]

Hello, boys and girls? Remember me?

Have you all been GOOD boys and girls? I've been keeping a list and checking it twice! 'Cos I gotta find out if you're naughty or nice! So you can all have presents...

Heh! Wait until you see my "elves"... Heh heh. Heh heh heh heh...

Bye for now!
Your pal
Satan!

 

[DoubtingStephen]

Wow. I actually agree with some of this!


(my bold)

He's basically saying that the church has to get them while they are young and impressionable, before they get wise and start thinking logically. So he's admitting that the church is brainwashing kids.

Funny word that, brainwashing, you'd expect things to come out cleaner in the end, wouldn't you?

 

[Jeff Corey]

Hello, boys and girls? Remember me?

Have you all been GOOD boys and girls? I've been keeping a list and checking it twice! 'Cos I gotta find out if you're naughty or nice! So you can all have presents...

Heh! Wait until you see my "elves"... Heh heh. Heh heh heh heh...

Bye for now!
Your pal
Satan!

Church Lady: Could it be SATAN?

 

[Zep]

Church Lady: Could it be SATAN?

You bet your bippee!

S.

 

[c4ts]

Hello, boys and girls? Remember me?

Have you all been GOOD boys and girls? I've been keeping a list and checking it twice! 'Cos I gotta find out if you're naughty or nice! So you can all have presents...

Heh! Wait until you see my "elves"... Heh heh. Heh heh heh heh...

Bye for now!
Your pal
Satan!

[1inChrist]No! Stop! I am scared of that picture! I'm offended by the HELLFIRE I threaten you with![/1inChrist]

 

[delphi_ote]

This thread keeps reminding me of this comic:

www.nodwick.com