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Merged Putin Missing/Where is Mad Vlad

Jim_MDP said:
A president who goes on state TV several times a week and there's no live imagery of him nor official statement for eleven days?
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Putin appears on Russian TV several times a day. Just about any news program will have at least one segment a day about Putin, potentially more.
 
TragicMonkey said:
Five theories, in order from least to most probable:


1. Nobody's ever seen Putin and Paula Deen in the same room at the same time. Clearly they are the same person! And currently he's stuck in Paula Deen guise.

2. While hanging up his giant fur coat in the wardrobe, he was set upon and kidnapped by four English children and some feeble-minded talking animals.

3. He was tricked into saying his own name backwards, sending him back to his home dimension.

4. Someone padlocked his coffin one day while he was sleeping, and he's stuck inside starving for blood.

5. He died and his cronies are covering it up until they can decide which of them will replace him.
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I think you got 4 and 5 reversed (I believe 4 is the most plausible explanation).
 
Childlike Empress said:
My twitter timeline is full of disappointed pre$$titutes who spend the week CTing...
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TBH long absences are usually due to medical issues, the silence being a smokescreen to prevent rivals from recognizing it and using the incapacitation to seize power.

Another walks like a duck moment.
 
Maybe he was off for a walk in the Ural Mountains and out of communication with HQ for a while?
 
Orphia Nay said:
He's a gutless wonder and doesn't want to be asked anything about Nemtsov's murder?
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That doesn't make any sense at all. First, who is going to ask him anything about Nemtsov that he doesn't want to answer, in any forum he doesn't control? Second, he has already made public statements about Nemtsov's murder. Whatever the reason, I doubt it has anything to do with Nemtsov's murder.
 
He underwent a religious conversion. Now he's Ras Putin.

(this joke has been done, surely :))
 
theprestige said:
That doesn't make any sense at all. First, who is going to ask him anything about Nemtsov that he doesn't want to answer, in any forum he doesn't control? Second, he has already made public statements about Nemtsov's murder. Whatever the reason, I doubt it has anything to do with Nemtsov's murder.
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Unless he was being targeted too, and went into hiding! Disguised as a Swedish woman running a daycare! He's been up to his elbows in mashed peas and diaper changing for the last few days. And has decided he'd rather face an assassination than read Goodnight Moon one more time.
 
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