May 21 Rapture Checklist

[Johny2x4]

Oh, and the best part:

I´m deeeeply distubed by this. Mostly because of the child.

 

[Puppycow]

What do they think will happen to their unborn child?

She'll just be pregnant for the rest of eternity in heaven.

 

[catsmate]

Even the cats can see through this.

 

[catsmate]

What do they think will happen to their unborn child?

I *believe* current fundy "thinking" on that is that the unborn (being free of sin) will be magically sucked from their mothers' bodies and taken to heaven. What happens there seems to be less defined, probably praising jeebus for all eternity like the rest.

 

[Gawdzilla Sama]

It's a pity Duke Nukem Forever won't be out by then. Couldn't Jesus just wait until 10th July so gamers can finish DNF?

How many DNF players would actually be raptured?

 

[skip]

I'll be posting this in the Brake Room today...



Memo
To: All employees.
From: Management
RE: Rapture

All Non-Raptured personnel are expected to report to work at their regularly scheduled times on Monday 5/23/2011.

For all who believe that they will be Raptured and wish to use Vacation or Personal time, please fill out the appropriate Leave Application form. If you intend to be Raptured Please do NOT sign up for Overtime on 5/21 or 5/22.




After all I have a business to run

.

 

[epix]

These are Harold Camping's predictions for the rapture, which he assures us will occur on May 21, 2011. He also assures us that the universe will end on October 21, 2011.
3. The unsaved will see the approximately 200,000,000 saved (from all of human history) rise up to heaven.

Heaven is a location within this universe, and so when the universe ends, the heaven goes too, unless you modify the D-word from 0101 to 1111 in the 198,756,395,844,448th line in the CommonUsers registry key.

As one of most godly person in the northern hemisphere, I weight now only 45 pounds, as the rising forces begin to kick in. But my body mass is the same. Foster, I'm afraid of heights; I don't want to rise. Do you know about some reputable Church of Unholy Atheist where I can convert?

 

[Mister Agenda]

Have you considered Satanism?

 

[epix]

Have you considered Satanism?

I changed my mind. Don't tempt me anymore.


what a sight, what a sight!
as they rise in blue and white
i shall truly lead the way
on the 21st of may