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Thinker
Look, people, there's a vast conspiracy going on, perpatrated by the US gov'ment. Millions of dollars were spent, and thousands of lives were lost. Fortunately, I am a noble, uncompromising soul who has left the Matrix, and seen behind the veil. It took a helluva a lot of courage on my part, through my special, uber-journalistic methods of "sitting on my ass reading webpages" and "listening to Alex Jones podcasts" and "combing the Skittles out of my neckbeard." You may say, if they gov'ment is such a keen, evil, manipulative machine, then why don't I get the hell out of America? And I tell you, sir, that MOM WILL NOT LET ME BORROW HER CAR, so I am stuck here.