I'm Running For Office

[thaiboxerken]

Do you mean American flag and do you intend to propose legislation removing arseny laws with respect to flag burning?

I mean that I will encourage americans to burn flags of all kinds. People who don't burn flags are potential terrorists.

Would you propose legislation that would allow abortion from the point of conception right up to birth?

That's exactly what I'm saying.

 

[CFLarsen]

I declare my candidacy. My color is Mauve.

 

[thaiboxerken]

Larsen is not American, for this reason, I say that he should not be voted for! He's from the evil place called "Foreign".

 

[Luke T.]

Welcome Mr. Larsen! Congress has just passed a constitutional amendment allowing you to run for President of the United States! Reporter Jocko is rumored to be as livid as your party's color.

 

[thaiboxerken]

Congress has just passed a constitutional amendment allowing you to run for President of the United States!

Those activist legislators!!

 

[CFLarsen]

Larsen is not American, for this reason, I say that he should not be voted for! He's from the evil place called "Foreign".

You're just scared because I'm going to win. You wimp!

 

[thaiboxerken]

I think we should, as a first for american politics, have a multi-candidate MMA fight. This could be Royal Rumble style. This way, the public can see who the wimps are and who are not wimps.

 

[CFLarsen]

Welcome Mr. Larsen! Congress has just passed a constitutional amendment allowing you to run for President of the United States! Reporter Jocko is rumored to be as livid as your party's color.

Bring'em on!

 

[Luke T.]

I think we should, as a first for american politics, have a multi-candidate MMA fight. This could be Royal Rumble style. This way, the public can see who the wimps are and who are not wimps.

I think I will wait until a reporter asks you about gun control first. I already know where the Muave Party stands, and so no worries there.

 

[thaiboxerken]

It's time for me to start my Vote and Die campaign. I mean, Vote or Die.

I will send rappers to every house in america to register those voters that I deem are worthy enough to vote.

I encourage all christians to vote from their homes by using the power of prayer. Your prayer votes will be counted by god and he'll let me know the outcome.

 

[CFLarsen]

I think I will wait until a reporter asks you about gun control first. I already know where the Muave Party stands, and so no worries there.

Feel free to throw the questions!

 

[Luke T.]

What, no ladies want to be the first woman President?

 

[Grammatron]

Follow up questions:

I mean that I will encourage americans to burn flags of all kinds. People who don't burn flags are potential terrorists.

Some of your oponents have expressed dislike with burning the flags, do you believe they are terrorists?

That's exactly what I'm saying.

Does that mean you are also comfortable with killing children?

Also, I did not have a chance to ask this previously, but how would you make marijuana available? Would it be provided in similar fashion as alcohol and tobaco, would it be sold in vitamin stores or would one be able to obtain it from a pharmacy?

 

[thaiboxerken]

Some of your oponents have expressed dislike with burning the flags, do you believe they are terrorists?

Yes, because I am what is good for america. Anyone that disagrees is conspiring against what is good for america.

Does that mean you are also comfortable with killing children?

No. What does killing children have to do with abortion?

Also, I did not have a chance to ask this previously, but how would you make marijuana available? Would it be provided in similar fashion as alcohol and tobaco, would it be sold in vitamin stores or would one be able to obtain it from a pharmacy?

I would make it similar to tobacco. I would also allow farmers to grow hemp to help bolster the economy. Hemp has many uses other than being a recreational drug.

 

[Grammatron]

Two-part question for all the candidates:

What are your views on illigal immigration and what do you plan to do about the immigrants illigally crossing into states like California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas? Particularly in the wake of declaration of state of emergency on the border by the Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano.

 

[thaiboxerken]

What are your views on illigal immigration and what do you plan to do about the immigrants illigally crossing into states like California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas?

Illegal immigration is not good, it allows people that we have no idea of come into the USA and do bad things, like work at McDonald's and become janitors. I plan on reducing illegal immigration by opening up the borders to all immigration from Mexico. If all immigration is legal, there will be no more illegal immigration.

 

[Luke T.]

Two-part question for all the candidates:

What are your views on illigal immigration and what do you plan to do about the immigrants illigally crossing into states like California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas? Particularly in the wake of declaration of state of emergency on the border by the Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano.

They envy our freedoms.

I do not believe in granting amnesty to illegal immigrants. I think that just encourages more people to come here illegally and demoralizes those legal immigrants who are trying to follow the rules.

We cannot continue to allow this problem to go on unabated. The strain on the border states' economies is too great.

I would beef up the INS, impose fines on employers who hire illegal immigrants, and return those illegal immigrants we discover inside our borders to their country of origin immediately. We should also look at the prospect of jailing repeat offenders.

 

[CFLarsen]

What are your views on illigal immigration and what do you plan to do about the immigrants illigally crossing into states like California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas? Particularly in the wake of declaration of state of emergency on the border by the Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano.

Illegal immigration is illegal, period. That is a case for the legal "arm" of society. Obey the laws of the land.

Illegal immigrants crossing the border must be deported back to where they came from.

However: The reason illegal immigrants are fleeing is because of poverty. So, we have to solve the long-term problem, instead of just knee-jerking. We need to support, with money, with educational programs, with infrastructural programs, etc, the country in question (Mexico, I believe - Canada is probably not a contender), so it can develop a sound society where it shouldn't be necessary to flee to the US in the first place.

Yes, it will take time and money. Yes, it is the most complicated solution of all. Which is why we should choose it. Cue: Kennedy, Moon missions. That ought to invoke the necessary will in the American people. If we can go to the moon, surely we can create a sound country?

Yes, it will mean higher taxes. But we are not just living in the US. We are living in the world, and the US is - no contest - the most powerful nation in the world. If the US is not able or willing to help its neighbours, who is?

I am perfectly aware of how much Christian the US is. But if this isn't being "Christian", what is? I know this much of Christianity, and that is: Selfishness is anathema to Christianity.

Right?

 

[thaiboxerken]

Pandering to the religious right is not a fair tactic.

However, isn't it very Christian to let people immigrate into the USA so that they can also enjoy our way of life? Make all immigration legal and there will be no illegal immigration. My opponents have proposed ways to reduce illegal immigration, but I'm the only one offering a solution to get rid of illegal immigration.

 

[Grammatron]

Can I play a pundit and a reporter? Pleaaaaaase