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I'm Running For Office

I am pleased to announce my candidacy. I will respond to questions if I feel like it. I will announce my positions, if any, when or if I feel like it. Get used to it.

AS
 
AmateurScientist said:
I am pleased to announce my candidacy. I will respond to questions if I feel like it. I will announce my positions, if any, when or if I feel like it. Get used to it.

AS
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What is your Party's name?

One candidacy slot left, ladies.
 
Umm, at what point do the OMIGAWSH! revelations about the various candidates appear? You know - a dalliance with an intern in the broom-closet, cross-dressing-up with screaming "friends" and a big rubber sheet and a couple of gallons of Crisco, etc?

Also, when's the TV debate? That would be a cracker!
 
I announce my candidacy as well. I represent the Metallic Teal party.

However, in the interests of a more diverse candidacy, I shall withdraw if one of our female posters requests a slot on the ballot.

Fire away with the questions. My basic politics:

Capitalist, with reasonable regulatory restraints. Prefer to err on the side of minimalism when it comes to it, but will not shy away from restrictions that I conclude are necessary.

Socially and economically fairly liberal. The federal government (and its vast resources) is a tool of the people that can be used for good or ill, depending on how skillful and principled its application.
 
Luke T. said:
What is your Party's name?

One candidacy slot left, ladies.
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You forgot to ask me what is my party's quest and what is my favorite color.

My party's name is the Cool Hand Party. Yeah, well, sometimes nothin' is a real cool hand.

AS
 
If Mr. Gnome would answer the question that have already been asked of previous candidates we would greatly apreciate it.
 
Grammatron said:
Two-part question for all the candidates:

What are your views on illigal immigration and what do you plan to do about the immigrants illigally crossing into states like California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas? Particularly in the wake of declaration of state of emergency on the border by the Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano.
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I view illegal immigrants as targets. I have to practice my sniper skills with my .50 cal rifle somehow, and I'm tired of shooting little bunnies to microscopic bits.

I don't care if they're in California, Arizona, or Rhode Island. Just send them to me, 10 at a time, and I'll put 'em all down at 1000 meters in 30 seconds flat. By put 'em all down I mean disintegrate them. There's no need to create extra work for undertakers. It would upset the economy.

Next question?

AS
 
LATE BREAKING NEWS..

In the first scandal of the campagn it has been revealed that shemp is an imposter as he actually died in 1955 of a cerebral bleed.
 
thaiboxerken said:
I think we should, as a first for american politics, have a multi-candidate MMA fight. This could be Royal Rumble style. This way, the public can see who the wimps are and who are not wimps.
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You're in Oregon...is "The Natural" going to be your VP candidate? :)
 
The Fool said:
LATE BREAKING NEWS..

In the first scandal of the campagn it has been revealed that shemp is an imposter as he actually died in 1955 of a cerebral bleed.
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And before that he was linked to the "Fatty" Arbuckle scandal!
Jack Warner signed him to a contract to do six shorts, which included “Close Relations” and “In the Dough”, two films with Shemp Howard. These were good films, not quite up to the level of his earlier work, but popular enough that Warner Brothers wanted him to appear in a feature film next. But that was not to be - in June of 1933, Roscoe Arbuckle died from heart failure.
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OMG! First Halliburton, now Shemp-gate...
 
AmateurScientist said:
I view illegal immigrants as targets. I have to practice my sniper skills with my .50 cal rifle somehow, and I'm tired of shooting little bunnies to microscopic bits.

I don't care if they're in California, Arizona, or Rhode Island. Just send them to me, 10 at a time, and I'll put 'em all down at 1000 meters in 30 seconds flat. By put 'em all down I mean disintegrate them. There's no need to create extra work for undertakers. It would upset the economy.

Next question?

AS
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Any truth to the rumor that you completely missed the broad side of a barn?
 
Question for Luke T.

Sure, you're a band-aid Jesus and all now, but I have an unnamed source who provided me with a memo indicating you were once a union scab.

How do you respond to these charges?
 
Jocko said:
Boxers or briefs? :D

Seriously, though. Do you have a campaign issue that you feel is so compelling that you would move to have it included as an amendment to the Constitution? I would reference last year's noise about anti-flag burning and gay marriage isssues as examples, but would like to hear about ANY issue you feel deserves consideration, controversial or otherwise.
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My response: no to flag desecration amendment, no to anti-gay marriage amendment. Constitutional amendments are to restrain the government, not the people. Furthermore, they represent the nearly unanimous consensus of our people. It's not there to carve in stone one view on a controversial issue.

Would I propose ANY constitutional amendment? I think I would create an amendment that fleshed out the right to privacy previously inferred by the courts. I'd have to consider the wording very carefully, but the intent would be that the government would have to show compelling need or probable cause of criminal action (to a judge, presumably) before before restricting the actions of consenting adults or spying thereupon. It may be that to forego this right would enable more protection against terrorism. I personally don't think it's worth it.
 
1. What are your thoughts regarding the deficit and debt?

President Clinton showed us that we can balance the budget and still prosper. I would act as he did, to eliminate the budget deficit over a period of several years. I would also endeavor to run a modest surplus that would not be handed back out in tax cuts or spent on new budget items, but rather used to pay down the national debt. It need not be completely eliminated, but it is too large and interest payments on it artificially cut into our budget. I would not aim for a large surplus--typically in the past this has led to a slowdown in the economy.

2. Would you favor or oppose changes in the tax rates?

I would revisit Bush's tax cuts, but analyze the tax rate of actual taxes paid, rather than the basic figure. I prefer a slightly progressive tax scale but allowing those with investment money to avoid some taxes should they choose to use it in investments that will create jobs. I would not cut their taxes and assume they will create jobs--I will cut their taxes as a reward for creating jobs.

3. What about spending cuts or increases and where?

I would cut spending on anti-ballistic missile defense systems as this is a tool of larger powers that we are better off negotiating with than playing chicken with. ABM defenses lead to arms races. I would instead expend those resources on anti-nuclear proliferation initiatives.

My biggest budget item would be a project to seriously reduce American dependence on imported oil, focusing on renewable/sustainable subsitutes. I would take the project as seriously (and allocate similar resources) as I would a war... because I feel that our oil dependency threatens our national security as much as a hostile nation could.

4. Any plans for social security?

I would seek out reforms for the system within its current structure.

5. Any plans for medicare/medicaid?

Same as #4.

More tomorrow...
 
Hey, no fair!

While I was drawing up the fourteen-point manifesto of the Stripy Party, everyone else just leapt in saying what colour they wanted to be.

* sulks *

Well, that's five-party politics for you.

I think I shall stand as an independent sixth-party candidate.
 
Bugger this election nonsense,I'm thinking of simply leading a coup.....who's with me? If you get in early you get dibs on the best haciendas at the beach...
 
gnome said:
1. What are your thoughts regarding the deficit and debt?

President Clinton showed us that we can balance the budget and still prosper. I would act as he did, to eliminate the budget deficit over a period of several years.
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How are you going to make this happen? Clinton had a stock market bubble that made this possible. How are you going to accomplish this without such a condition?

Edited to clarify: I'm not saying it couldn't be done, I'm saying it made it MUCH easier. You will have a much tougher job than he did. So how will you accomodate the difference?
 
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