Hitting A Woman?

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Yeah, movies are so like real life. :D

I meant that the 'proving their manhood' phrase would indicate that she wasn't referring to martial artists. It is entirely possible (likely actually) that personal experience is coloring my view of people who use violence. But then again, there are real people reading these threads, and certain responses are to be expected.

It is interesting that some people jump from 'hitting women' to 'abusive relationship' and then other people jump from 'men hitting people' to 'martial arts'. That really says a lot about attitudes with violence.
 
But the point is that character is a good representation, even if it's a fictional depiction, of machismo. Machismo being defined as excessive or extreme masculinity.
 
I've only ever hit a woman with an épée--during a fencing competition, and DAMN if she didn't make me pay for my insolence! (For anyone unfamiliar with the sport, an épée is rigid and heavy, unlike the more familiar foil, and in épée competition the groin is a legal target....)
 
It's quite obvious she wasn't talking about martial artists, unless you believe all of them are members of Cobra Kai. Or unless you want to conveniently discredit her point.

Yeah, movies are so like real life. :D

But the point is that character is a good representation, even if it's a fictional depiction, of machismo. Machismo being defined as excessive or extreme masculinity.

You guys know I wasn't making a point right? I was only making a lame joke.
 
You will also notice that when she was called on the post, slingblade ignored it.

Oh, I am so sick of this crap. WHAT POST?

Do you remember I've had another death in the family? I haven't been paying the closest attention to much of anything.

But DON'T accuse me of something you're simply assuming.

I shall now go back and see which post I was "called on," and I will respond.

****ing jerks are really getting to me.
 
Is this the post where I got "called?" Or is there another?

I'll read and give my answers, shall I? And then I'll go look and see if there is another calling-out post that I must respond to or risk shaming my femhood.
Or some other stupid crap that has to do with someone else's agenda and not the fact that I lost my brother last month and haven't been paying more than sporadic and brief attention to much of anything lately. [edit: never mind, not important.]

Check it out, Qayak, you're my number one focus right now, cuz god knows I gotta keep you happy or else get pointed at for "ignoring it when I get called out."

Called out....I feel like I'm in the ****ing O.K. Corral for god's sake.

But I haven't ignored a damned thing. I just hadn't seen this post yet.
I don't like being lied about. I didn't ignore anything, you got it?


Now imagine being a man having a woman doing the same thing to you, and if the police come they arrest you. Not only that, but you're called a pussy, a coward, and a wife beater.

That has to be awful for a man to go through. I can sympathize. We get put down for getting hit on, too. We get ridiculed as well. It isn't any fun to get hit by someone you love, and then have others laugh at you for taking it.

I don't mean to minimize anything that anyone has been through. Obviously domestic violence is a huge problem. While I recognize the comments that led to these remarks, I just have to point out the entire point of this thread seems to be to recognize the double standard for violence.

Yep, there is a double standard out there, and again, that has to be awful. I can't say I've ever known any men who were abused by women, but I also can't say I'd think it was all right for women to hit, but not for men to hit.

However, the thread asked if it's ever okay to hit a woman. I did try to explain that this particular notion has meaning for me that it doesn't have for everyone, and that it pushes one of my buttons. When that button gets pushed, I say something about domestic violence.

Now I'm fully aware this might spark the 'do men have it worse than women' debate, and I'm sorry if it does, because that really shouldn't be the focus.

I don't see how it matters if one has it worse thn the other. The situation is equally bad for either sex, isn't it? I'd think being hit by a significant other is devastating no matter what your sex. I'd think it has particular pitfalls for each sex that the other doesn't have to go through, and to which the other sex might find it hard to relate, but that makes it different, but not necessarily better or worse.


Again, I see the comments that led to this line of discussion, but just talking about 'women' and 'hitting' shouldn't make one stick to some script about wife beating. Honestly though, it is heartening to see this thread go this long before the vague defense of spousal abuse crept in.

Did someone vaguely defend spouse abuse? I didn't see that, or recognize it if I did see it. Lil distracted, you understand.

I figured, when I saw the thread title, that someone was baiting battered women with this thread, or hoping to. I guess I will always remember my fear and shame whenever I see such a sentence or phrase. I'm a woman, and my first husband hit me. I'll always have some sort of flashback to that.

But when I see such a thread title, for some reason, right or wrong, I always figure someone might be trying to start an argument about how it should be okay to hit women, since women can hit men and get away with it.

I find that sort of thinking retarded in the extreme.

It isn't okay to hit anyone. It might be necessary sometimes to hit to defend yourself, but I still see hitting in general as wrong.

Did I address whatever I was called out on? And if so, was it acceptable?
Qayak? Did I pass, or fail? It's so freaking important, I know.
 
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Now imagine being a man having a woman doing the same thing to you, and if the police come they arrest you. Not only that, but you're called a pussy, a coward, and a wife beater. I don't mean to minimize anything that anyone has been through. Obviously domestic violence is a huge problem. While I recognize the comments that led to these remarks, I just have to point out the entire point of this thread seems to be to recognize the double standard for violence
I hope that my comments made it clear I abhor any such viole.nce, no matter whether it is a man hittinga woman, a woman hitting a man, a man hitting a man or a woman hitting a woman. I hate violence, outside fiction.

Now I'm fully aware this might spark the 'do men have it worse than women' debate, and I'm sorry if it does, because that really shouldn't be the focus.
I agree. I can only provide perspective from a personal experience, however, and I really wanted to make the point that even the most rationalised justifications for using violence against a person can be twisted to fit the abuser's requirements.
 
Slingblade made a blanket statement about males who "test their manhood" which I thought was completely wrong. There are many ways to test oneself including violence. Some may view it as testing their manhood which is their perogative but there is no way for her to know why they do it. She thinks they are abusive because they do something she doesn't like.

Abusing women and testing yourself are two completely different and, unrelated, things.

Nope, I either didn't express myself well enough, or you read me wrong, or both.

I'm talking about those particular guys who have a...a false or inflated or just plain wrong notion of what being male entails. The ones who think there is such a thing as a "real man," and that to be seen as one, you have to prove it by inflicting pain on others.

I am not saying anywhere that this is a particular number of men. Not saying that it's a lot, or most, or half, or some, or a few. I just know there are guys out there like this. And THOSE GUYS, the ones who think "real men" have to "prove it" by hitting people to HURT THEM, they're the type who like to hit women.

I...man, I can't even write this sentence without my jaw falling slack to the floor in disbelief that this even went to martial arts practitioners! I'm not talking about sports, FFS! I'm talking about men who bully because they think inflicting pain somehow proves their manhood.

Jesus, is that what your earlier crap to me was about? Wow, man, could you lighten up just a little here?
 
It was the utter stupidity of this post I was responding to.

It wasn't stupid. You just didn't understand what I was saying, and I didn't do the best job of saying it.

But it wasn't a stupid post. That makes me really angry. Wasn't stupid.
 
I...man, I can't even write this sentence without my jaw falling slack to the floor in disbelief that this even went to martial arts practitioners! I'm not talking about sports, FFS! I'm talking about men who bully because they think inflicting pain somehow proves their manhood.

You've never seen the Karate Kid? The martial artist in that movie that was Miyagi's student's main antagonist was a bully who perfectly fit that description of machismo, and always resorted to using his fists because he doesn't know any better, and the pressure he was put under to win all the time or you're nothing didn't help him either. That's why he was used as an example.

You should see that movie "The Karate Kid". It's a pretty good one.
 
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You've never seen the Karate Kid? The martial artist in that movie that was Miyagi's student's main protagonist was a bully who perfectly fit that description of machismo, and always resorted to using his fists because he doesn't know any better, and the pressure he was put under to win all the time or you're nothing didn't help him either. That's why he was used as an example.

You should see that movie "The Karate Kid". It's a pretty good one.
I think you mean "antagonist", or enemy, or nemesis or something.
 
You've never seen the Karate Kid? The martial artist in that movie that was Miyagi's student's main antagonist was a bully who perfectly fit that description of machismo, and always resorted to using his fists because he doesn't know any better, and the pressure he was put under to win all the time or you're nothing didn't help him either. That's why he was used as an example.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure there are macho "real men" bullies everywhere.

That karate bully, he's kind of a stereotype, isn't he? Found in a lot of movies and stories that try to illustrate how the notion of the "real man" can lead some men to abuse people, isn't he? Are you trying to say that you think men who practice martial arts are wife-beaters? Are you sure you want to go there?

Now if you ask me, I figure it's largely a stereotype, but like I said, you can find bullies in a lot of places.
 
I hope that my comments made it clear I abhor any such viole.nce, no matter whether it is a man hittinga woman, a woman hitting a man, a man hitting a man or a woman hitting a woman. I hate violence, outside fiction.


Yeah, me too. However, I know what it feels like to see red as someone who hates violence myself. But as I said earlier, there are situations even someone hating violence [or maybe because of that hate of violence] could turn into someone using violence.

For example: Your loved Woman is aborting your and her child without asking you because she says she never loved you in the first place - despite saying that all the time before that abortion.

Or you witness a man hitting his girl in public.

Or you find out that your Boyfriend lied to you about loving you, wanting a child with you and marry you, while in reality, he loves your best friend.

Or you see people killing little innocent seals by beating them to death. Watching that makes me so angry that I would shoot those people immediately if I was there.
 
That and the fact that a woman is deciding what men should be doing, as if males and females are the same.

By the same logic, African Americans shouldn't decide what whites should be doing, right ? I mean, as if blacks and whites are the same. So, maybe we should have separate governments by group.

No, I think women can very well say what they think other people should or should not do, just like anybody else does. I think your comment is slightly sexist.
 
Yeah, me too. However, I know what it feels like to see red as someone who hates violence myself. But as I said earlier, there are situations even someone hating violence [or maybe because of that hate of violence] could turn into someone using violence.

For example: Your loved Woman is aborting your and her child without asking you because she says she never loved you in the first place - despite saying that all the time before that abortion.
So, a woman finds herself pregnant at a time she does not want a child, and either realises she didn't love the man she's with, or finally comes clean about not loving him. You seriously think it is ok to physically attack her at this time?

Or you witness a man hitting his girl in public.
What's more important ... protecting the person being abused, or satisfying your own violent urge?

Or you find out that your Boyfriend lied to you about loving you, wanting a child with you and marry you, while in reality, he loves your best friend.
No need to resort to violence in this instance, imo. It is not going to solve anything, and may land you in prison for assault ot worse.

Or you see people killing little innocent seals by beating them to death. Watching that makes me so angry that I would shoot those people immediately if I was there.
... and since you're not there .... what exactly are you advocating here?


Whatever your response ... you may wish to take a closer look at those justifications I listed earlier that my ex used. Don't compare your claimed hatred of violence to mine, particularly when you admit to 'slapping' a girlfriend because she used you ... or that you think it's ok to use violence against a woman because she wants an abortion.
 
So, a woman finds herself pregnant at a time she does not want a child, and either realises she didn't love the man she's with, or finally comes clean about not loving him. You seriously think it is ok to physically attack her at this time?

What's more important ... protecting the person being abused, or satisfying your own violent urge?

No need to resort to violence in this instance, imo. It is not going to solve anything, and may land you in prison for assault ot worse.

... and since you're not there .... what exactly are you advocating here?

Whatever your response ... you may wish to take a closer look at those justifications I listed earlier that my ex used. Don't compare your claimed hatred of violence to mine, particularly when you admit to 'slapping' a girlfriend because she used you ... or that you think it's ok to use violence against a woman because she wants an abortion.


I don't think that violence is okay. However, I do understand why people who normally are against violence come into situations where they were violent nonetheless.

You never came into such a situation ... fine. There is nothing more to add from my side since you're pretty much talking from a hypothetical point of view. Bye.
 
I don't think that violence is okay. However, I do understand why people who normally are against violence come into situations where they were violent nonetheless.

You never came into such a situation ... fine. There is nothing more to add from my side since you're pretty much talking from a hypothetical point of view. Bye.

But I have been in such a situation - more than once. I outlined them above. Indeed, I even referred you back to some of those situations in the very post you quoted.

I'm also not talking from a hypothetical point of view - I am addressing the scenarios you presented from a very real point of view - since you presented the scenarios for discussion in a discussion thread, and I do actually happen to exist and have an opinion on them. I don't believe they hold much water as justifications for physically attacking a person.

If you don't feel able to defend your position on these scenarios against my comments, then perhaps that says more than you realise.
 
But I have been in such a situation - more than once. I outlined them above. Indeed, I even referred you back to some of those situations in the very post you quoted.

I'm also not talking from a hypothetical point of view - I am addressing the scenarios you presented from a very real point of view - since you presented the scenarios for discussion in a discussion thread, and I do actually happen to exist and have an opinion on them. I don't believe they hold much water as justifications for physically attacking a person.

If you don't feel able to defend your position on these scenarios against my comments, then perhaps that says more than you realise.


Again, you never came into a situation in which you [as a pacifist] used violence, right?
 

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