The Reality Religion. I like it. The fact that there are no miracles is the miracle.
The Ten Reality Commandments
1. I am the Second Law of Thermodynamics.
2. Thou shalt have no other Law before me.
2a. Okay, okay, so there's a First Law. Apart from that, thou shalt have no other Law before me. Happy now?
3. Thou shalt not use the word
quantum unless thou canst represent the surrounding sentence mathematically.
4. Thou shalt not take my name in vain in arguments about evolutionary theory, you morons.
5. Five days shall thou work, with the occasional break particularly if you spend a lot of time focused at close distances because that's bad for your eyes, and then two days shall thou rest, go rock climbing, build model trains and/or rockets, and generally engage in nifty stuff.
6. Thou shalt not kill, unless thou intendest to eat it.
7. It's Einst
ein, but Tolk
ien. Get it right.
8. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, unless they have three-phase power to their workshop; thou shall not covet thy neighbour’s wife, or ox, or donkey, or llama, or bison, or okapi, or hartebeest, or emu, or C&C milling machine, or anything that belongs to thy neighbour, but if they have slaves you should report them to the police because that is seriously uncool.
9. Thou shalt not expect a free lunch, but if one turns up, accept it graciously.
10. Thou shalt follow the safety instructions. They are there for a reason.