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Felonious jay walking

CBL4

Master Poster
Joined
Nov 11, 2003
Messages
2,346
In an unusual step to crack down on pedestrian parents endangering their children, Orange County prosecutors are calling on police officers to crack down and make arrests, if necessary.

Prosecutors said the problem of parents crossing busy streets with their children has gotten so bad that they're willing to prosecute extreme cases as felony child neglect
http://www.wesh.com/news/5029280/detail.html#

CBL
 
You are such a heel.

Have you no sole? Already this thread is laced with loafers like you who just won't toe the line. You'd better get instep before someone takes a more arch tone with you.
 
"Extreme cases?" What, we're gonna see this on the Deuce next? "From Pamona, California, it's the Dr. SholesTM Extreme Jaywalking Summer Nationals. I'm your host Brad Bland, and down on the street we've got some random hot chick we're paying minimum wage and a resume credit. Let's start with a overview of the rules of Extreme Jaywalking..."
 
I've seen so many instances where a driver in one lane motions the pedestrian to proceed across the street but the car in the lane next to you doesn't always stop. Of course, you can't control what another driver is going to do.

I've also seen so many pedestrians walk "blindly" across the street without even hesitating to make sure that the driver sees you. The driver must first see a pedestrian before stopping. I don't cross the street without first making eye contact with the driver to make sure that I've been seen. Once I've been acknowledged or they're waving me across, then I feel reasonably safe in crossing the street. The pedestrian has the right of way but he or she also has to use a little common sense for their own safety.

When I'm in an unfamiliar area, I don't always know where all the crosswalks are so it's wise to drive very slow down the main thoroughfare. I've seen cyclists in dark clothing on very dark nights. Sometimes a pedestrian comes out of nowhere between two cars. Unless you're clairvoyant, there's just no way of seeing them.

Another thing that people don't often consider is when the streets have snow and ice on them. It's not always possible to stop on a dime. Someone might make a turn and immediately come upon someone in the crosswalk and if it's slippery, a disaster might occur. That's why I always drive like an old lady most of the time. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I struck and killed someone. I felt terrible this weekend when I was coming up over a hill and hit a wild turkey in the middle of the road. I've seen hundreds of turkeys in the road but this is the first time I've ever struck one. I tried to swerve around to avoid hitting him but it didn't do any good. Poor thing!
 
I stumble across a serious issue and all you can do is to pull my leg. I kneed everyone to put a sock in it. I shinn't have to put up with all these cobbled together puns. How can I nail this problem?

CBL
 
It's true. CBL4 is discussing a subject where others fear to tread. If this is to last, we must not buckle to the temptation of a cheap laugh. We're not a bunch of sneakers here so let's boot this thing around.
 
It's true. CBL4 is discussing a subject where others fear to tread. If this is to last, we must not buckle to the temptation of a cheap laugh. We're not a bunch of sneakers here so let's boot this thing around.

Well, shoe 'nuff, you've gotten to the sole of the thread, and you're lacing right into it, you big heel, you! Maybe next you'll sandal your thoughts somewhere they won't sock us in the toes?
 
Well, shoe 'nuff, you've gotten to the sole of the thread, and you're lacing right into it, you big heel, you! Maybe next you'll sandal your thoughts somewhere they won't sock us in the toes?

Conversely, tap dance around the issue.
 
I've seen so many instances where a driver in one lane motions the pedestrian to proceed across the street but the car in the lane next to you doesn't always stop. Of course, you can't control what another driver is going to do.
This is a pet peeve of mine, you should never, ever stop and wave a jaywalking pedestrian across the road. People double-park all the time here, and in other large cities as well. The car behind you might very well assume you are double-parking, and just drive around you, then the pedestrain goes SPLAT. The Illinois Rules of the Road book you study to get your drivers license even had (has?) a page about this, don't know if they still do. But it is still taught in drivers safety courses. So just don't do it, enabling a jaywalker can get them killed.
 
enabling a jaywalker can get them killed.

That's why I do it.

Wildcat, you're in Chicago, aren't you? Noticed any changes in traffic laws since the city declared it was going to crack down on jaywalkers that ignore signals and tie up traffic?

....Neither have I.

Thinning the herd is the only solution. They'll only die of starvation and disease if we don't.
 
This is a pet peeve of mine, you should never, ever stop and wave a jaywalking pedestrian across the road. People double-park all the time here, and in other large cities as well. The car behind you might very well assume you are double-parking, and just drive around you, then the pedestrain goes SPLAT. The Illinois Rules of the Road book you study to get your drivers license even had (has?) a page about this, don't know if they still do. But it is still taught in drivers safety courses. So just don't do it, enabling a jaywalker can get them killed.
In Seattle, people definitely don't stop for jaywalkers. Hell, maybe one car in 10 or 20 will stop for pedestrians crossing in a crosswalk. Depending on the time of day, and whether the crosswalk is marked or unmarked.

In fact, we have someone unique traffic laws here. There are the written laws, which are pretty similar to most other places; and which are almost universally ignored. Then there are the unwritten laws that most people use instead. For example, according to the official laws, right-of-way is determined by 3 or 4 simple rules. According to common practice, right of way is determined according to a complex equation with numerous values, including vehicle size, current blue-book value and country of origin of the vehicle (with an additional correction factor if your vehicle is German), your annual adjusted gross income, who your current cell-phone conversation is with, your relative social importance, the part of town you're driving through at the time, and how much of a hurry you're in. Of course, most people don't bother trying to do the calculus involved, and simply assume that they always have right-of-way.

And no one here has the slightest idea of what turn signals are for, let alone how to use them.
 
In fact, we have someone unique traffic laws here. There are the written laws, which are pretty similar to most other places; and which are almost universally ignored. Then there are the unwritten laws that most people use instead.
Heh. In New York jaywalking is a civil right handed down from Fiorello LaGuardia himself. No, really, it is! You could look it up! "Jaywalkers" was a derisive term for, um, jaywalkers which was coined here. The term "dodger" as in "Brooklyn Dodgers" also refers to street-crossers. LaGuardia was the first mayor to recognize that jaywalking was what we do here.

Every time we get a new mayor -- Koch, Dinkins, Giuliani, Bloomberg -- he promises to crack down on jaywalkers on account of the 200 or so people who die from it every year. And every time, the reaction is the same. "Ooh, a jaywalking ticket? In New York City? I better buy a frame and get the first one!"
 
Conversely, tap dance around the issue.
You've never walked in their shoes, so stop putting on Airs. You Reebok what you Saucony. Who's going to foot the bill for these missteps? You can't just pump up your flat retreads, covering the same ground, pussyfooting around your kneejerk reactions - because everyone can see your Achilles' heel, and you've been caught with your pants around your ankles. You won't have Dorian Gray to kick around anymore.
 
You've never walked in their shoes, so stop putting on Airs. You Reebok what you Saucony. Who's going to foot the bill for these missteps? You can't just pump up your flat retreads, covering the same ground, pussyfooting around your kneejerk reactions - because everyone can see your Achilles' heel, and you've been caught with your pants around your ankles. You won't have Dorian Gray to kick around anymore.

Enough about footwear, let's listen to some tunes..

B000002UAO.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg
 
You know, when I saw the title of this thread, all it made me think of was some short dark saxophonist jazz musician... Felonious J. Walking...good stage name!
 
You know, when I saw the title of this thread, all it made me think of was some short dark saxophonist jazz musician... Felonious J. Walking...good stage name!

At the Puntastic Theater next Friday Night
Felonious S. Alte with Dudley Weapon
One night only - don't miss it!
 

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