End Times Bible prophecy for beginners

[Maurice Ledifficile]

I did do it, and I did mean it. But as I said, nothing happened. Jesus didn't save me.

What should I do next?

Next, you are going to eventually encounter something quite positive in your life, or anything that could be interpreted as a strong sign. That's when you're supposed to go "Oh, that's what he meant". Then you're a convert. It's a little like the Gypsy curse. You don't know when it's coming. Could be today, tomorrow, or anytime in the distant future, but when it does, you'll know that's what it is...


I can see it working on a lot of people, but trying to peddle this stuff here is pretty useless. Reminds me of the guy who was trying that poorly designed con on Micheal Shermer, of all people. Some people should learn to pick their battles.

 

[quixotecoyote]

If you don't understand, then go get your calculator and calculate 20 words of your own chosing on your own. Then check a few on the list. If you still don't get it, do so more and read the website.

George came by with a similar code that purported to show the will of extra-terrestrial corn gods.

I'm pretty sure his is cooler than yours. Maybe you should convert?

Sample from above:

Bible: Bi is B0iO (added 0 = O). 26 x 66 = 1518 = Or. Second O = 15 = 15+66+66 = 147 = ng. Therefore: Bible = “Boring Ble”. L = 50, backwards is 05 = 5+66 = 71, Atomic Number of Lu, backwards is UL. e = 50 = L (add 0).
Therefore: Bible = “Boring Bull”

 

[yy2bggggs]

I'm sorry, this is too fun of a game. I can't stop.

GOT CALCULATOR ???

Even better! I've got /usr/share/dict/ispell files and gcc. So:

Words that calculate to 444 despite astronomical odds:

Jesus=444 Yshua=444 Messiah=444 Cross=444 Gospel=444
Jewish=444 Menorah=444 Joshua=444 Obedient=444 Increase=444
Forgave=444 English=444 Gematria=444 Church age=444 The Key=444
The Lock = 444

adverse, ailment, brutal, cratered, demises, erratic, error, ethereal, gorilla, invades, inviable, kidnaps, killing, measles, minion, raiders, refuse, sabatoged, savages, scalper, traps.

Oh and to add to the raunchy 444 words (oddly enough, there are so many):
blouse, caressed, censor, enticer, flaunt, fuller, greases, lurer, streaks, tempt, videos...

and...

harlot! Yes, harlot, as in mother of harlots:

Roman Catholic Church = 1158
Mother of Harlots = 1158
Roman Catholic = 792
False Religion = 792

Words that calculate to 906, despite astronomical odds.

Jesus is Lord = 906 Jesus Christ = 906 Jesus Power = 906 Son of the Lord = 906
Lord's Prayer = 906 Holy Spirit = 906 Lord of Hosts = 906 Through Love = 906
Jesus Glory = 906 Jesus Is Alive = 906 Redeemer From God = 906
Jesus Sacrificed = 906 Shed Blood For Man = 906
Prophetic King = 906 Unconditional = 906
Love is the Law = 906 Healing Promise = 906

gynecologist, recognized lies, tyrranizes
​

Words that calculate to 888, despite astronomical odds:

Divine Presence = 888 Omnipresent = 888 Messiah Jesus = 888 Law of Liberty = 888
King of the Sabbath = 888 The Lion of Judah = 888 Scriptures = 888 The King Jesus = 888
The Passover = 888 Saved in Jesus = 888 Righteous God = 888 Healing Numbers = 888
Coming Truth = 888 A Holy Truth = 888 Finished Cross = 888 The Trinity = 888
The Lord’s Time = 888 The House of God = 888 The Doings of God = 888
Morning Star = 888 Biblical Prophet = 888 Forgiving King = 888
Gods Anointing = 888

Catholicizers, fictionalizes, polygamizes, rationalizer, Westernized
​

Words that calculate to 666, despite astronomical odds:

Mark of Beast=666 Bio Implant=666 Digital ID Chip=666 Satanic Mark=666
E-Identity = 666 Kissinger = 666 Sorceries=666 Necromancy=666
Witchcraft=666 Verishield=666 Mondex Chip=666 Monsanto=666
Monetary = 666 False Market = 666 Insanity = 666 Unruly = 666
Lustful = 666 Book of the dead =666 Satan's RFID = 666 RFID Body Tag = 666
RFID Scanner = 666 Image of Satan=666 Satan Cult = 666 Satan's Seal = 666
End Time Alien=666 Gray Aliens = 666 Islamic Lies = 666 Sharia Laws=666
Papal State = 666 Vatican Hill = 666 Fatima Miracle=666 Quarrels=666
New York=666 (United Nations?)
Waco Texas=666 (David Koresh?)
A Branch Davidian=666 (David Koresh's group)
Geneticist=666 Vaccination=666

housewife, omnivore, opinions, potatoes, publishes, vouchers,
biblical babble, biblical psalm, a biblical hymn, biblical leaflet, bible excused, bible scribing, God's family, check god's law

(Normal vaccinations are fine: but be very wary of any mandatory vaccinations ordered by the government)

Why?

government deed=906 the law is love=906​

Anyway...

Almost 666 but not quite

I don't do "almost".
​

Words that calculate to 264, despite astronomical odds:

Faith = 264
Hope = 264
Abraham = 264
Adonai = 264
Godhead = 264

cancer, decadence, degrade, ditch, doped, fabler, jerk, kill, lewd, raped, zeal.
​

Words that calculate to 360, despite astronomical odds:

Holy = 360
Teacher = 360
Pure = 360
Word = 360
Believe = 360
Helps = 360

abandoned, addicts, affairs, banter, cheater, decimate, defiles, dodging, errs, fallacy, fault, fearing, feigns, fondled, hexer, incite, inflame, lured, maniacs, menaces, needier, pest, robber, scars, secedes, shams, smug, wreck, yuck
​

Words that calculate to 204, despite astronomical odds:

Free = 204
Grace = 204
One = 204

axed, backache, bandage, cold, damp, dark, dated, feds, gags, hate, kick, miff
​

Words that calculate to 330, despite astronomical odds:

Satan = 330
Wicked = 330
Judas = 330
Jailer = 330
Exile = 330
New Age = 330

ascended, atone, bathes, beatific, candies, civil, debater, decodes, dedicated, heaven, higher, solace, song, video​

 

[Astreja]

Actually everyone here is saved already. Only the buying and selling mark of the beast can change that.

Eschat, I have rejected that salvation, on purpose. I do not believe that your god exists, and I think that it is the height of dishonour to allow someone else to die in my place.

If even *one* sentient being is condemned to eternal torment, then I shall go with them until such time as they are released. I will settle for nothing less than the abolition of hell and the release of all of Biblegod's political prisoners.

And if I have to take the Mark of the Beast to guarantee that I will not be whooshed off to Heaven against my will, then so be it. I shall leap into these mythical flames of my own free will, with my knees unbent.

 

[blobru]

I must be doing something wrong. Using the handy-dandy antichrist calculator, I get Mark of the Beast = 864.

eta: ahh, I see: "Mark of Beast", no "the"; silly me.

 

[Astreja]

I get a value of 444 for 'Astreja.' Does that mean that I'm only 2/3 beastly?

 

[blobru]

I hope you don't own a yak, because apparently (Astreja yak = 666) it's the antichrist.

 

[tsig]

I'm happy with 666.

Signed,
H. Kissinger

Number dropper.

 

[Athyrio]

Given the many failed doomsday prophecies throughout time in general and here at JREF in particular, it would seem that the thread title is autobiographical.

 

[a_unique_person]

Then this Antichrist will also be able to display supernatural power. The Antichrist will eventually demand that everyone take a buying and selling mark, and that they give their allegiance to him. This future Antichrist will also eventually have control of all nations on earth. The Antichrist will also ultimately make the claim he is God and demand worship. The Antichrist will begin murdering all who refuse to worship him as God, or take his buying and selling mark. None of these things have yet happened, so if the Bible is true they all must come to pass in the future.

I'm right on to it, I don't take part in any of those stupid 'loyalty' programs.

 

[rofl]

Eschat, you seem to have a glass half empty perspective towards the end of the age and the return of Christ. You will be a lot happier looking at the bright side of these things.

 

[Trent Wray]

I don't do "almost".

It's the only safe way to truly calculate things to 666 ... you have to wear a condom and get close to like 665 or something.

Eschat, I have rejected that salvation, on purpose. I do not believe that your god exists, and I think that it is the height of dishonour to allow someone else to die in my place.

If even *one* sentient being is condemned to eternal torment, then I shall go with them until such time as they are released. I will settle for nothing less than the abolition of hell and the release of all of Biblegod's political prisoners.

And if I have to take the Mark of the Beast to guarantee that I will not be whooshed off to Heaven against my will, then so be it. I shall leap into these mythical flames of my own free will, with my knees unbent.

Will you please remember to bring some water?

Oh, and can you cook?

-----------

Actually, on a serious note .... what if I am in hell and I refuse to let you go with me? What if I feel it is also the height of dishonor to let someone suffer for me until I am released ... ?

Number dropper.

ROFL

 

[Craig4]

You know I already know and I have already told you. Jesus will save you even if you did not mean it and you didn't. So welcome to the family, he will save you in spite of you. ROFL ................ Really, I mean it, really.

The more rational explantation is that the book you seem to have based you life on is a collection of made up fairy stories.

 

[Craig4]

Can I just point out here that the collection of freakish fairy stories we know as the Bible was written in Greek a long time before the modern English language even existed. If there was a code in it you'd have to read the damn thing in Greek to find it. The letters you see change what with using an entirely different alphabet and all.

 

[Craig4]

Um...



Yeah, that. Ever thought about that Eschat?

Now that's funny.

 

[Astreja]

Will you please remember to bring some water? Oh, and can you cook?

I can bring mead, too, not just dihydrogen monoxide. And yes, I can cook quite well. Spanakopita, cookies, hot and sour soup. (And,
judging from the OT prohibition on shellfish, there will probably be ample shrimp in hell to make a decent pot of jambalaya.)

Actually, on a serious note .... what if I am in hell and I refuse to let you go with me? What if I feel it is also the height of dishonor to let someone suffer for me until I am released ... ?

Interesting point. I guess I could come up with some other reason to be there. Perhaps if I kicked the Holy Spirit in the (whatever a Holy Spirit has that's kick-worthy)?

 

[dafydd]

The prophet of doom seems to have left the building.

 

[Craig4]

The prophet of doom seems to have left the building.

"... when danger reared it's ugly head he quickly turned away and fled, brave, brave Sir Robin.."

 

[Genesius]

Eschat, you seem to have a glass half empty perspective towards the end of the age and the return of Christ. You will be a lot happier looking at the bright side of these things.

Someone had to do it. . .

 

[Andy_Ross]

665 the neighbour of the beast.