Split Thread [Ed] Personal experiences with gays

madurobob said:
What? I think we need diagrams.


I'm straight and I have several straight friends who hug rather than shake hands as a greeting. That you have a fear of a hug from a fellow straight man is... interesting.

Anyway, there is an old but good article on the issue of effeminate-acting gay men here. The book mentioned sounds interesting, too.
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It is not the norm for dudes to hug each other as a greet as women hug each other as a greeting. There is no fear of a hug from a fellow straight man, but it is simply out of the norm.
 
whatthebutlersaw said:
This is now beyond ridiculous. You have a schema of female appropriate hugging that I'm supposed to suddenly live up to despite the fact that neither I nor any of my girlfriends greet with hugs? I reserve hugs for elderly relatives and then my technique tends to be "very, very carefully avoiding breaking brittle bones". And I most certainly do not "tiptoe" and go for the jugular when needs arise to greet-hug a person of the male persuasion.

Have you ever actually met a woman? Have you ever actually met a man? Have you ever actually received a hug? Your sample size must consist of the following people: You. Your brother. That is all.
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Lol. Obviously my example does not apply to all. And no where did I suggest that you should live up to any of the examples I have given. They are merely general examples of hugging. Everyone here knows exactly what I am talking about when I describe the differences between males hugging and females hugging. Why they choose to be ignorant of these differences I don't know. I also don't know why people are choosing to be ignorant of the fact that guys do not generally hug each other as a greeting. You may not hug females as a greeting, but in general high school to college age females do. When I am giving examples, my population I am referring to is mainly those that are under the age of 30.
 
May I suggest this might be worth a million dollars to someone?

The existence of gaydar -- an ability to detect reliably a person's sexual orientation from things other than their sexual behavior -- seems to me something a lot of people believe in but which has never been empirically shown to exist. As far as I know current science does not support the existence of gaydar, so at least in theory this would be a paranormal ability eligible for the Million Dollar Challenge.

If someone such as Quad4_72 who believes they possess such an ability were to apply for the Million Dollar Challenge, and if a protocol could be worked out and agreed on, the outcome of testing might be interesting and perhaps enlightening. (Coming up with a workable protocol would probably be difficult, though.)
 
Quad4_72 said:
It is not the norm for dudes to hug each other as a greet as women hug each other as a greeting. There is no fear of a hug from a fellow straight man, but it is simply out of the norm.
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That is where you are wrong. Male freinds hugging as a greeting is very much the norm; I see it all the time. In fact, I was at a roots music festival for four days last week where it was the norm for complete strangers to hug when they met, regardless of gender. Those who didn't hug were the distinct minority.

Among my relatives in Portugal male acquaintances kiss as a greeting - males with no discernible effeminate behavior!

I think you need to get out more.
 
Quad4_72 said:
Are you acting ignorant on purpose? You know damn well that there is a difference when straight males hug each other and when females hug each other.
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Most guys I know do the "handshake hug." Both men reach out to shake hands, then draw closer, and while still shaking hands, embrace with some back-slapping in a hug.


Also, when a male hugs a female. For example, a female will generally wrap her arms around the guys neck while he wraps his arms around her body. She will generally go to her tip toes as well because females are usually smaller.
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Maybe they will, maybe they won't. You wouldn't get a hug like that from me, for instance, because of my chesticles. They are rather large, and it is somewhat too intimate to hug most people, so I hug them sideways, with one arm, most of the time.

And I was referring to guys that hug each other everyday for a general greeting. This is not normal for men. Do you hug your buddies everyday as a greeting in a girly fashion?
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I have two straight sons in their early 30s. They greet all their male friends with a handshake hug. Some few of those friends get and give a full-body type hug, because they're closer friends.

Maybe it's you, and the circles in which you run...because most men I know do hug other men, quite often.
 
Nova Land said:
May I suggest this might be worth a million dollars to someone?

The existence of gaydar -- an ability to detect reliably a person's sexual orientation from things other than their sexual behavior -- seems to me something a lot of people believe in but which has never been empirically shown to exist. As far as I know current science does not support the existence of gaydar, so at least in theory this would be a paranormal ability eligible for the Million Dollar Challenge.
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Well, ABC News did a small test a few years ago and got a 60% hit rate. They claim this is better than chance, but its hard to tell from the report if it is a statistically significant difference. Plus, John Stossel was involved, so there is that.
 
Quad4_72 said:
Also, when a male hugs a female. For example, a female will generally wrap her arms around the guys neck while he wraps his arms around her body. She will generally go to her tip toes as well because females are usually smaller.
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Well now I'm worried. I'm a straight male. My wife is three inches taller than me. When we hug, she puts her arms around my neck and I put my arms around her body. If we want our faces to be at the same level, I need to go on tiptoes.

Clearly this means I'm female and she's male, or one of us is gay, or I've been around too many women and she's been around too many men. Or maybe it's just for the bolded reason above and has nothing to do with gender roles or sexuality.
 
Quad4_72 said:
Are you acting ignorant on purpose? You know damn well that there is a difference when straight males hug each other and when females hug each other.
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Uh ... no?

In my experience, it really depends very much on who the individuals are and what the relationship between them is.


Also, when a male hugs a female. For example, a female will generally wrap her arms around the guys neck while he wraps his arms around her body.
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For non-couples?

She will generally go to her tip toes as well because females are usually smaller.
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But here the indicator for "will she tip toe" is size, not gender or anything else.

And I was referring to guys that hug each other everyday for a general greeting. This is not normal for men. Do you hug your buddies everyday as a greeting
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Not many of them, no. It'd be interesting to compare that to how homophobic I think they are, though ...

in a girly fashion?
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My female friends don't hug me in a girly fashion as far as i can tell...
 
DC said:
how come you asume he picked it up from them and it is not rather something that comes from dancing itself?
Many dancers move more feminime than other man, but are totaly straight.
moving elegant looks prety feminime for example, but is essential for dancers etc.
your comment goes almost in the direction of "he got infected with gayness"
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Anti-dancite!

Next you'll be saying they should have their own schools!

;)
 
Pup said:
Well now I'm worried. I'm a straight male. My wife is three inches taller than me. When we hug, she puts her arms around my neck and I put my arms around her body. If we want our faces to be at the same level, I need to go on tiptoes.

Clearly this means I'm female and she's male, or one of us is gay, or I've been around too many women and she's been around too many men. Or maybe it's just for the bolded reason above and has nothing to do with gender roles or sexuality.
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This is probably one of the biggest failures of a post in this thread. I cleary said "usually" that is the case. Obviously, there are instances where women are larger then the males when hugging. To suggest that I did not recognize those other instances is blatant dishonesty.
 
slingblade said:
Most guys I know do the "handshake hug." Both men reach out to shake hands, then draw closer, and while still shaking hands, embrace with some back-slapping in a hug.




Maybe they will, maybe they won't. You wouldn't get a hug like that from me, for instance, because of my chesticles. They are rather large, and it is somewhat too intimate to hug most people, so I hug them sideways, with one arm, most of the time.



I have two straight sons in their early 30s. They greet all their male friends with a handshake hug. Some few of those friends get and give a full-body type hug, because they're closer friends.

Maybe it's you, and the circles in which you run...because most men I know do hug other men, quite often.
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A handshake hug is very different then a "girly hug" as I am talking about. You don't see males running towards each other with their arms out excited to hug the other straight male.
 
Quad4_72 said:
Replying to this modbox in thread will be off topic  Posted By: arthwollipot




Full blown, meaning openly gay and acting extremely feminine. Though Iraqis act feminine as it is. Half blown as you would say would probably refer to someone who is still in the closet and doesn't act quite as feminine.
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Do you think that all heterosexual men act the same?
 
madurobob said:
That is where you are wrong. Male freinds hugging as a greeting is very much the norm; I see it all the time. In fact, I was at a roots music festival for four days last week where it was the norm for complete strangers to hug when they met, regardless of gender. Those who didn't hug were the distinct minority.

Among my relatives in Portugal male acquaintances kiss as a greeting - males with no discernible effeminate behavior!

I think you need to get out more.
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Quad better stay out of Belgium,the men kiss as a greeting here too. Not always,but nothing gay about it.
 
Quad4_72 said:
It is not the norm for dudes to hug each other as a greet as women hug each other as a greeting. There is no fear of a hug from a fellow straight man, but it is simply out of the norm.
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Normal is different all over the world. It may be out of the normal run of things in a macho football locker room,but over here you see it a lot.
 
madurobob said:
That is where you are wrong. Male freinds hugging as a greeting is very much the norm; I see it all the time. In fact, I was at a roots music festival for four days last week where it was the norm for complete strangers to hug when they met, regardless of gender. Those who didn't hug were the distinct minority.

Among my relatives in Portugal male acquaintances kiss as a greeting - males with no discernible effeminate behavior!

I think you need to get out more.
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I am well aware that there are different countries that have different cultural norms. They man kiss all the time here in Iraq. But we aren't talking about Iraq or Portugal now are we? And the areas where I have visited in the United States, I have seen bro hugs as greetings, but never "Girly hugs". I think posters here are forgetting that is the type of hug I am talking about. And I find it quite comical that we have been talking about hugging for so many posts.
 
dafydd said:
Normal is different all over the world. It may be out of the normal run of things in a macho football locker room,but over here you see it a lot.
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In the United States, it is not normal for two straight dudes to hug each other in a girly fashion as a greeting.
 
dafydd said:
Quad better stay out of Belgium,the men kiss as a greeting here too. Not always,but nothing gay about it.
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I am in Iraq where all they do is man kiss. As I said before, I am well aware that there are different cultural norms in different countries. Again, we are not talking about those countries though are we?
 
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