Split Thread [Ed] Personal experiences with gays

Quad4_72 said:
That I can buy. I think it is quite a stretch to say that camp behavior would be defined as rare. Perhaps you are correct, and that masculine behavior in gays in the majority and camp behavior is lesser, but still not rare. This is just not the personal experience I have had.
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most queers do not act campy and are not effeminate.
 
Belz... said:
Sure you were.

Like the story in which your brother was "infected" by gay mannerisms.
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Your use of quotes over the word "Infected" is entirely your own. If that is how you think of someone mimicking feminine gay characteristics, it's all you.
 
Belz... said:
I have. And I'm straight. Gosh, that limited experience of yours isn't helping, is it ?

No, it's not a mound. It's a hole, Quad.
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You gave another dude a girly hug? Interesting. Perhaps you have been hanging around gay dudes as well? I just added another inch to my mound :)
 
Quad4_72 said:
You gave another dude a girly hug? Interesting. Perhaps you have been hanging around gay dudes as well? I just added another inch to my mound :)
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What's girly about a hug ? Maybe I misread what you meant. A hug's a hug. We didn't grope each other's buttocks if that's what you meant.
 
Belz... said:
What's girly about a hug ? Maybe I misread what you meant. A hug's a hug. We didn't grope each other's buttocks if that's what you meant.
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Are you acting ignorant on purpose? You know damn well that there is a difference when straight males hug each other and when females hug each other. Also, when a male hugs a female. For example, a female will generally wrap her arms around the guys neck while he wraps his arms around her body. She will generally go to her tip toes as well because females are usually smaller.

And I was referring to guys that hug each other everyday for a general greeting. This is not normal for men. Do you hug your buddies everyday as a greeting in a girly fashion?
 
Quad4_72 said:
Are you acting ignorant on purpose? You know damn well that there is a difference when straight males hug each other and when females hug each other.
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What? I think we need diagrams.

Quad4_72 said:
And I was referring to guys that hug each other everyday for a general greeting. This is not normal for men. Do you hug your buddies everyday as a greeting in a girly fashion?
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I'm straight and I have several straight friends who hug rather than shake hands as a greeting. That you have a fear of a hug from a fellow straight man is... interesting.

Anyway, there is an old but good article on the issue of effeminate-acting gay men here. The book mentioned sounds interesting, too.
 
Some thoughts on "gaydar".

I don't think this operates the same way in hetero men as it does in hetero women (if it operates at all.) Speaking from personal experience, of course. :D

I think that many hetero men, at least in modern U.S. culture, are somewhat afraid to be suspected of "queer" tendencies, and as well as avoiding behavior they think might be interpreted as fem, they also overreact if they believe they perceive it in others, sort of as a mechanism to prove they themselves 'aren't like that'. The 'macho he-man' stereotype is not only pervasive, it is also something of an ideal.

Women I have discussed this with seem to react to an entirely different set of cues for the most part. They spend their public lives being assessed, both covertly and overtly, by men who are considering their potential as sexual partners. This is largely true, I believe, even when the men themselves are not consciously aware that they are doing it. I'm thinking of the refrain, "My face is up here!".

When these sorts of cues are absent, even the subliminal ones, then many women are going to realize that something is different, and the discerning ones will know what it is.

I don't feel that the reverse is true. Generally, I don't think hetero women are as preoccupied by secondary sexual characteristics in the opposite gender. This is not to say that they disregard them completely, but I don't have the sense that it is quite so instinctively overwhelming as it is in males. Men don't have the same sorts of cues to go by when dealing with women, which may go a long way to explaining why we get it wrong so often. :blush: Thus we also don't have the same body of experience, and are left to make judgements about sexual orientation in others based on a nearly fictitious set of assumptions.
 
Quad4_72 said:
Are you acting ignorant on purpose? You know damn well that there is a difference when straight males hug each other and when females hug each other. Also, when a male hugs a female. For example, a female will generally wrap her arms around the guys neck while he wraps his arms around her body. She will generally go to her tip toes as well because females are usually smaller.

And I was referring to guys that hug each other everyday for a general greeting. This is not normal for men. Do you hug your buddies everyday as a greeting in a girly fashion?
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This is now beyond ridiculous. You have a schema of female appropriate hugging that I'm supposed to suddenly live up to despite the fact that neither I nor any of my girlfriends greet with hugs? I reserve hugs for elderly relatives and then my technique tends to be "very, very carefully avoiding breaking brittle bones". And I most certainly do not "tiptoe" and go for the jugular when needs arise to greet-hug a person of the male persuasion.

Have you ever actually met a woman? Have you ever actually met a man? Have you ever actually received a hug? Your sample size must consist of the following people: You. Your brother. That is all.
 
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