Bigfoot: The Invisible Variety

[kitakaze]

Number one absolutely golden rule of bigfootery. Bigfoots are only encountered under circumstances that rule out the possibility of the creature being scientifically catalogued.

 

[DrewD]

1. "group of bigfoots"? You mean like an organization or club run by bigfoots?

Sure, that too.

2. Let's stick with Anthropoides Ameriborealis(es)

No... I think a gaggle or a myth would be much better.

3. I suspect they're mightily powerful, but invincible?

Huh....I said invisible. Not invincible.

4. Our government can't find Osama, or figure out the Anthrax attacks. What makes you think they would have any knowledge of sasquatch? They were looking for Steve Fossett (or something); a powerful, connected celebrity in an airplane. They've found squat.

Easy... Osama = bigfoot, Anthrax attacks = Osama, and Fossett = taken to the 4th by Osama.

(Keep servin' 'em up like softballs)

Do you like softballs?

 

[LTC8K6]

2. Let's stick with Anthropoides Ameriborealis(es)

That's not a name for sasquatch, though. It's a name for sasquatch footprints. So it cannot in any way be the plural of Bigfoot.

Meldrum sends along this:

“Point of clarification — Anthropoidipes ameriborealis is NOT a proposed name for sasquatch. It is a published name for tracks/footprints that have been attributed to Sasquatch.

 

[kitakaze]

“Point of clarification — Anthropoidipes ameriborealis is NOT a proposed name for sasquatch. It is a published name for tracks/footprints that have been attributed to Sasquatch.

I'm just enjoying the image of Noll channeling Tom Arnold as the manta ray in 'Finding Nemo'...

*gasp* "ANTHROPOIDIPES AMERIBOREALIS! Children! Gather!"

Anyway I think I'll stick with the good ol' classic title for bigfoot tracks: misidentifications and hoaxes.

 

[kitakaze]

Do you like softballs?

I have.... nevermind.

 

[erikbeckjord]

Dang it! You were our best hope.

Historian, please help us...there are a number of us that are trying to taunt Bigfoot into attacking, as you've suggested he would, yet we are striking out.

With your vast knowledge, you must know of a sure fire, never miss method...can you please share that with us?

Sure--- just capture and hold a baby bigfoot.....and mama will appear.

OOPS, but then, you will already have a Bigfoot, so,,,,,,uh,,,, ooops..

oh well.

 

[erikbeckjord]

The other way is to have open and hot sex in the woods, and look up to see
a BF watching yew.... some people have gotten bf photos this way. Works.

 

[bruto]

The other way is to have open and hot sex in the woods, and look up to see
a BF watching yew.... some people have gotten bf photos this way. Works.

You have to have an awfully tolerant partner, though, I think. I've lived in woods a good part of my life, and yes indeed, there are some nice mossy spots that will live forever in memory, but I doubt the experience would have been as repeatable as it was, had I been multi-tasking with camera in hand.

By the way, where are those good bf photos of which you speak?

 

[DrewD]

I have.... nevermind.

I was waiting for someone to play on the wording.

 

[Biscuit]

The other way is to have open and hot sex in the woods, and look up to see
a BF watching yew.... some people have gotten bf photos this way. Works.

That has to be the best idea I have ever heard. I wish horny voyeristic invisible bigfoots lived in the sonoran desert, I would be having open and hot sex on barrel cactus every day. Prickers be damned!!!

Can you imagine looking up from a little love making and seeing a bigfoot armed with a crossbow! My friends would never let me forget the night I hooked up with a bigfoot.

 

[Locknar]

That has to be the best idea I have ever heard. I wish horny voyeristic invisible bigfoots lived in the sonoran desert, I would be having open and hot sex on barrel cactus every day. Prickers be damned!!!

Can you imagine looking up from a little love making and seeing a bigfoot armed with a crossbow! My friends would never let me forget the night I hooked up with a bigfoot.

Just remember, next time you think you are alone....invisiable Bigfoot, armed with a crossbow, is watching!

 

[Babylon Sister]

Just remember, next time you think you are alone....invisiable Bigfoot, armed with a crossbow, is watching!

So that's what that noise was!

I tell ya, the woods just aren't safe for anything these days. First it was hunters, then meth labs and now armed, voyuristic big foots. When will this madness end?

 

[arthwollipot]

True...they seem to be terrified of flashlights. On the other hand, as Historian has often mentioned, without a flashlight they may very well appear and wreak havoc on local tree/plant life as well as launch into a all-out vicious attack.

I think it's because carrying a flashlight makes it a lot easier to categorically identify whatever it is you are seeing as something other than a bigfoot. Without a flashlight, everything looks like a big grey shadow bigfoot.

 

[Biscuit]

Just remember, next time you think you are alone....invisiable Bigfoot, armed with a crossbow, is watching!

Between republican senators and armed bigfoots watching me I wont ever be able to use an airport bathroom again.

 

[YouBelieveWHAT?]

Isn't it odd that Bigfoot have apparently mastered the technique of passing between our "normal" dimensions and the fourth, but don't seem to have mastered weaponry more advanced than the crossbow.

BTW - what "evidence" is there about the crossbow, anyway

 

[Apology]

I had a Bigfoot sighting the other day, but it turns out I was seeing my own reflection in the full-length mirror in the bathroom after my shower, and I'd forgotten to shave my back for a while

I started poking holes in my canned goods with a screwdriver anyway though, lost in my thoughts about my amazing personal experience. Some weird guy startled me by bursting into my kitchen (while I was still pokin' beans) and shaking a can of rocks in my face and screaming about how big my feet are. I don't think they're that bad, but he was real excited, shaking that can of rocks. He smelled like rum too. Then I escaped into the fourth dimension. The Admissions Office at Berkeley could verify this except they're in on the coverup. True story.

 

[Correa Neto]

Isn't it odd that Bigfoot have apparently mastered the technique of passing between our "normal" dimensions and the fourth, but don't seem to have mastered weaponry more advanced than the crossbow.

BTW - what "evidence" is there about the crossbow, anyway

Behold, oh human of lacking knoweledge!

Yeah, that was a bait and I took it.

 

[DrewD]

I had a Bigfoot sighting the other day, but it turns out I was seeing my own reflection in the full-length mirror in the bathroom after my shower, and I'd forgotten to shave my back for a while

I started poking holes in my canned goods with a screwdriver anyway though, lost in my thoughts about my amazing personal experience. Some weird guy startled me by bursting into my kitchen (while I was still pokin' beans) and shaking a can of rocks in my face and screaming about how big my feet are. I don't think they're that bad, but he was real excited, shaking that can of rocks. He smelled like rum too. Then I escaped into the fourth dimension. The Admissions Office at Berkeley could verify this except they're in on the coverup. True story.

Sorry about that.

You see, I had been drinking and was out and about on my search for the truth. All of the sudden I looked into this house and there bigfoot was. Naked, wet and poking holes in a can of creamed corn. I took my trusty can of rocks and began my assault. Rattling the can with all my might, I yelled "YAHHHHH!!" and "PUT THE SCREWDRIVER DOWN!!!" All of the sudden, gone. Vanished into the 4th. I called Berkeley but they denied that it happened and said that I was drunk. I think that they are in on the coverup.

Worst of all, I think bigfoot poked a hole in my can o' rocks with his screwdriver before phasing out. It took me months to construct that can o' rocks.

 

[YouBelieveWHAT?]

Thank you Correa,

What more evidence do we need?

None

 

[Slimething]

You see, I had been drinking and was out and about on my search for the truth. All of the sudden I looked into this house and there bigfoot was. Naked, wet and poking holes in a can of creamed corn. I took my trusty can of rocks and began my assault. Rattling the can with all my might, I yelled "YAHHHHH!!" and "PUT THE SCREWDRIVER DOWN!!!" All of the sudden, gone. Vanished into the 4th. I called Berkeley but they denied that it happened and said that I was drunk. I think that they are in on the coverup.

I'm always too late! Or is it the slime trail? It's the slime trail, isn't it? Damn!

OK, I'm switching to rum. It costs more than rubbing alcohol but that stuff doesn't bring IBF around anymore.