Merged Bigfoot follies

[RedRatSnake]

Back on BFF1 there were a few that claimed to be excellent trackers and hunters, they would brag about the kills they made and how they tracked the animals down, I used to get such a kick out of reading how they couldn't track BF cause he covered up his tracks and was very smart, other footers would encourage them along and put in their 2 cents in about how it was impossible to track em cause BF was so smart, pats on the back soon followed with encouragement for another day.
Well I don't know about you guys but if I thought I was such a good tracker I certainly would not brag about how I could not find a BF, or about how my prize tracker dogs would run away scared, wish at least the dogs had a say about what they thought of BF. lol

 

[StankApe]

If you can track a man, a man who knows the woods and doesn't want to be caught, you can track an ***** bigfoot....

I'm losing my patience with delusional footers and their dumb brain killing ideas.

 

[RedRatSnake]

Science generally ignored the Bigfoot saga because it was considered harmless. If the saga becomes destructive to the general advancement of critical thought and it demands a response, maybe it will finally get the response it deserves.

I think that hits it on the head nice and square, Awesome.

 

[AttorneyTom]

"He see's you when you're camping,
he knows when you're near-by.
Melba has his DNA,
and it turns out he can fly!

She sampled his blood,
she was checkin' it twice,
try'na find out if he was naughty or nice,
and it turns out he has angellll DNAAAAAAAA!"

You know, I really think that has potential GS !

How about:

"Patty the faked up Sasquatch"

" Patty the faked up sasquatch
had an artificial coat.
And if you claimed to see her
you could sit around and gloat. " ?

or maybe...

to the tune of king w.

" A Sasquatch he came to town stealing zagnut bars.
Occaisionally he would look into the windows of the cars.
Then one day he smeared his face on the glass with mud.
Now the footers know he's real even Uncle Judd !"

or maybe..

" We wish you a bigfoot sighting, We wish you a bigfoot sighting, We wish you a bigfoot sighting, and a huge chunk of hair" ?

or perhaps even...to the tune of we three kings...

We four experts at BFRO
Tell you things that you need to know.
Dont ever doubt or ever surrender
just make sure to watch our show !"

Anyway.. Happy Holidays !

 

[RedRatSnake]

If you can track a man, a man who knows the woods and doesn't want to be caught, you can track an ***** bigfoot....

I'm losing my patience with delusional footers and their dumb brain killing ideas.

What happens is the 500 pound BF take to the trees and make their escape, or they use the underground tunnels they have throughout the area that lead into caves that can't be found.

 

[AlaskaBushPilot]

jerrywayne - that was a good point. They've gotten to big for their britches now and jumped the shark - someone (maybe you) earlier posted how in the beginning bigfoot was in the most remote inaccessible places and almost never seen.

Whereas now it is everywhere at once, even close to New York City.

Back on BFF1 there were a few that claimed to be excellent trackers and hunters, they would brag about the kills they made and how they tracked the animals down,

Hey, let's say someone claims to be a tracker but asserts that you can't track through forest floor leaf litter. That's one of the EASIEST places to track animals. I had some pictures on my photobucket account a few years ago to show how easy this is once you've been shown what to look for. I'll see if I can dig them up.

I had one picture followed by a second one where I circled all of the footsteps to show people how to see them. One of the things you look for is that the leaves are not only disturbed exactly according to the regular stepping pattern of each animal, but the color pattern is a dead giveaway too. Turn a leaf over and see how faded the top is vs. the underside. When they are disturbed you can see this right off if you are an experienced tracker spending months every year tracking animals.

 

[AlaskaBushPilot]

Ha! I found my lesson in forest floor leaf-litter tracking. Here is the first picture:

And here is the second with assistance for seeing the footsteps:

That's a moose we're tracking, and you'll note that the footsteps fall into exactly the pattern they would if he was walking on soil that left good footprints. Same thing with a fox or a bear or whatever. You have this pattern memorized and you can sort of superimpose it like a transparent template over the scene, and the tracks stick out like a sore thumb.

Anyone claiming tracking experience who doesn't know how to do this has just proved he has no tracking experience. You would not use forest floor leaf-litter as a place where tracks could not be followed.

Look carefully at those leaves I have circled. See how you can see the darker undersides? The leaves are rarely turned all the way over. They're just lifted up to where you can see the undersides. Sometimes bending your knees and getting down low allows you to see this better too. A ground-level view instead of looking from on high.

 

[Gilbert Syndrome]

You know, I really think that has potential GS !

How about:

"Patty the faked up Sasquatch"

" Patty the faked up sasquatch
had an artificial coat.
And if you claimed to see her
you could sit around and gloat. " ?

or maybe...

to the tune of king w.

" A Sasquatch he came to town stealing zagnut bars.
Occaisionally he would look into the windows of the cars.
Then one day he smeared his face on the glass with mud.
Now the footers know he's real even Uncle Judd !"

or maybe..

" We wish you a bigfoot sighting, We wish you a bigfoot sighting, We wish you a bigfoot sighting, and a huge chunk of hair" ?

or perhaps even...to the tune of we three kings...

We four experts at BFRO
Tell you things that you need to know.
Dont ever doubt or ever surrender
just make sure to watch our show !"

Anyway.. Happy Holidays !

There's a good market for this, we're onto something. I hear Cryptomundo are looking for a Christmas headline, haha.

I'm also working on a range of Mayan-themed football terrace chants.

 

[Kilaak Kommander]

Ha! I found my lesson in forest floor leaf-litter tracking. Here is the first picture:

That's an excellent lesson/demonstration ABP. And it show how absurd it is to think that Bigfoot covers up or conceals its tracks. Can you imagine the time and effort it would take for an 800lb behemoth to do that? And how slowly they'd travel?

 

[AttorneyTom]

I dont know. But it sounds like a good scenario for a snowy bf track concealing Holiday tune !

 

[Resume]

Once again, the idea of a creature the size of bigfoot, with a foot the size alleged by enthusiasts, the idea that such a thing wouldn't leave an easily defined trail through it's alleged habitat is just daft. Of all the silliness surrounding the whole footie carnival, this one has to be the silliest.

Footprints next to the road? Check. Near a river in the sand at the high water mark? Check. On a forest pathway through an alleged habituation area? Nope.

C'mon.

 

[Resume]

That's an excellent lesson/demonstration ABP. And it show how absurd it is to think that Bigfoot covers up or conceals its tracks. Can you imagine the time and effort it would take for an 800lb behemoth to do that? And how slowly they'd travel?

Maybe they travel with a broom up their ass, shaking it as they move through the woods silently.

 

[Gilbert Syndrome]

They could be walking like John Cleese in the Python, it wouldn't matter 'cos no'one would see it, but you can bet there'd be a Facebook Find Bigfoot analysis.

 

[AttorneyTom]

They could be walking like John Cleese in the Python, it wouldn't matter 'cos no'one would see it, but you can bet there'd be a Facebook Find Bigfoot analysis.

There you have it ! "Finding Bigfoot- The John Cleese Episode "

Hmm.. I hear a BF Holiday Tune coming on...

 

[Gilbert Syndrome]

Here comes Sasquatch,
here comes Sasquatch,
right down Sasquatch lane.
Patterson and Gimlin,
Munns and Meldrum are pullin' at the reins.
Rocks are flingin'
and Melba's singin',
all is merry and bright.
Place down your Zagnuts
and say your prayers
and Sasquatch will come tonight.

 

[RedRatSnake]

Here comes Sasquatch,
here comes Sasquatch,
right down Sasquatch lane.
Patterson and Gimlin,
Munns and Meldrum are pullin' at the reins.
Rocks are flingin'
and Melba's singin',
all is merry and bright.
Place down your Zagnuts
and say your prayers
and Sasquatch will come tonight.

LMAO ~ That is awesome

 

[Gilbert Syndrome]

 

[AttorneyTom]

Cheers GS !

 

[AttorneyTom]

So yes, In partial summary....

Tire tracks next to the "BF tracks.. Cant track them in the leaf litter of the forest, making howls next to the tire tracks, going into the "wilderness" by automobile, zagnut bars, monkeys in a cage .. er rabbits in a cage to attract a bf.. tree knocks.. coyote herding deer for bigfoots.. they like power lines to travel by... bf by police cam... town meetings ( raise your hand if you think you have seen bf..).. using children ... bf like to run with cars on the roadway... howling for bigfoot... bf now live in urban areas ... bf visit cemetary's, bf look into the windows of houses, cars... they farm mussels in rivers, they have a language, bf made wood structures and migration from and to elevation levels... rock throwing... the rotten egg or bad smells.. women attraction..

THE BIGFOOT FOLLIES !

I am sure there is more to add to the list but as I am in the holiday spirit and am working on my next song I will leave it up to you guys.

 

[AlaskaBushPilot]

Can you imagine the time and effort it would take for an 800lb behemoth to do that? And how slowly they'd travel?

I hope the pictures I showed demonstrate the impossibility and point out one of the main reasons why Patterson and Gimlin fled the Bluff Creek scene so quickly, drawing people away to view the film instead of staying in Bluff Creek to answer questions and having the tracks prove up on their claims.

Insofar as disguising tracks, you cannot. Anything you do is going to disturb the surface even more. On one of my most important scientific source television shows (Gilligan's Island) they were showing how to cover-up their prints on the sand with a palm frond. All that does is show someone used a palm frond to sweep over tracks. You need a rainstorm or two to do the job.

I've had occasion to need concealing my tracks when I was visiting certain plants growing here and about that I needed to water every couple of days and didn't want to make a path to them. I walked in the stream on gravel to a point where I could use the branch of a tree to hoist up from the bank to swing far enough that they would not be noticed from the creek, as if anyone had been there for the last 50 years anyway. Just being super careful. Instead of having a cluster of plants in one spot, so easily sticking out, you put one here and there that blends in better too.

Patterson and Gimlin, if they did not make perfect tracks in one setting, could not go back and fix any mistakes. You aren't going to be able to walk in exactly the same footsteps, although wolves are amazingly good at following in each other's footsteps - I have seen that for long stretches in the snow that fooled me initially.

So I think if they tried, it would have been immediately apparent to themselves that they would be found out, especially with the way Patterson shot his mouth off. Their story involved themselves, bigfoot, and horses. That involves too many things that all have to be coordinated perfectly, with one take, and there are just too many things that can go wrong, not just the problem of where they start and where they end.

What you end up having to do, and I have been in this situation too, is lay down so many tracks every which-way that nothing can be followed. Like say people with badges are trying to figure out where you hid something, and they've really got the drop on you, they're on their way in and you have very little time to act. Just put down a blizzard of tracks all over the place, then put the item in plain sight. Sit on it at the fire, and keep inviting them to come talk to you right there at the fire.