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Attention, NWO

Yeah, I found that out.

BTW, I am thinking about putting on a presentation of how to effectively trick millions of people into believing fire will hurt steel. If there is enough participants, I will put on more if needed.
 
Why? We're trying to eliminate 80% of everybody, and you want stun guns that actually stun people instead of "stunning" them?

Nooo, corral them into FEMA camps first, and THEN kill them.

Apparently Sabrina has first pick of the large male detainees - strict orders for their immediate emasculation and indoctrination as her personal Lavender Guard. Whatever the hell that means.
 
Nooo, corral them into FEMA camps first, and THEN kill them.

Apparently Sabrina has first pick of the large male detainees - strict orders for their immediate emasculation and indoctrination as her personal Lavender Guard. Whatever the hell that means.
Sorry, I'm bound under an NDA (Form SSV/6, under subsection 9a-ξ of the Enterprise Commission). I'll just point out that "emasculated" implies an "emasculator", whose identity I am not at liberty to reveal.
 
I'm pretty sure they work in the same office.

Although curiously enough, the Mr. Gutsy I finally received has an "emasculate" setting and was preloaded with my personal vital statistics. I just assumed it was to keep an eye on my blood pressure levels, but I am beginning to suspect Perversions Dept. involvement.

Both Mount Weather and Sugar Grove may no longer be safe.
 
Memo
...
5) As mentioned in previous memos, Super-Mega-Nano-Thermite Paint supplies are backordered until someone can find another meteorite with the same magic mineral properties as Asteroid Zero-Four.

I think I can help with it. Several of my probes found three additional asteroids with such properties. Fill out form CK-999 and I'll drop it there.
 
Nooo, corral them into FEMA camps first, and THEN kill them.

Apparently Sabrina has first pick of the large male detainees - strict orders for their immediate emasculation and indoctrination as her personal Lavender Guard. Whatever the hell that means.

You'll find out soon enough... *grins evilly*
 
(And finally, Operation Just Deserts is a Go!)

I really wish communication was better. Do you realize how much money we could have saved on research into jungle warfare, had we known the go ahead had been given for Just Deserts?
 
I really wish communication was better. Do you realize how much money we could have saved on research into jungle warfare, had we known the go ahead had been given for Just Deserts?



You think that's bad? My copy had a typo; Now what do I do with 16 tonnes of jello pudding?
 
You think that's bad? My copy had a typo; Now what do I do with 16 tonnes of jello pudding?

The NWO Sky Kitty Bar can use it. ULTIMA2 has been re-programmed and the Jesuits are getting restless again, so donate the pudding and we can throw the Jesuits and Ultima2 in a vat of the stuff and see who emerges unscathed. As a matter of fact we could probably write this off as an experiment on the effects of Jello pudding on Jesuits and one aggravating NWO cyborg.

Audible Click
The Gap In The Plot Project
Our Motto: "I'd kill you but you might bleed on my shoes."
 
*quietly adds JoeyDonuts to The List*

I'm already on more lists than you can fathom. I go by so many names...Chupacabra, Bigfoot, Old Scratch, The "Greys"...

I wasn't always one of the NWO's Accounting Elite, you know.

*lights cigarette, adjusts tie with tentacle*

Oh, and ladies - the answer is yes. This thing can change its shape.
 
I'm already on more lists than you can fathom. I go by so many names...Chupacabra, Bigfoot, Old Scratch, The "Greys"...

I wasn't always one of the NWO's Accounting Elite, you know.

*lights cigarette, adjusts tie with tentacle*

Oh, and ladies - the answer is yes. This thing can change its shape.
Oh, I know exactly which lists you're on, Joey. And let me say that Old Scratch is just the beginning...
 
But, alas, not it's size.

It's not the size of the tentacle, but the various geometric and fractal shapes your non-Newtonian silicon-based anatomy allows you to make with it.

*eats a bucketful of live rats*
 

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