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Rat in a Hat Declares War of Exorcism Against Satan

DoubtingStephen

Queer Propagandist
DoubtingStephen
Joined
Dec 6, 2005
Messages
1,545
The Rat in a Hat has declared all out war on Satan, and will send crack teams of highly trained exorcists all around the globe to combat godless Satan-affected demon-carrying tools of the Evil Empire.

The Pope has ordered his bishops to set up exorcism squads to tackle the rise of Satanism.

Vatican chiefs are concerned at what they see as an increased interest in the occult.

They have introduced courses for priests to combat what they call the most extreme form of "Godlessness."

Each bishop is to be told to have in his diocese a number of priests trained to fight demonic possession.

The initiative was revealed by 82-year-old Father Gabriele Amorth, the Vatican "exorcistinchief," to the online Catholic news service Petrus.
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(source)

Can you get these Godless Demons at Wal*Mart? I'd like to get me some of this most extreme form of Godlessness. It sounds cool!
 
I can hear it now. "Just hold still, this may hurt, in with the good, out with the bad, in with the gooooooooooooooddddddddd, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're done. Clean yourself up and I'll see ya in church, wink wink."
 
OK, but apart from the hours of great amusement, the aqueducts, the sanitation, and roads what else have the exorcists ever done for us?
 
From his recent pontifications, if the pope were to go insane (assuming...), how could anyone tell? :confused: --

"Und zo Herr Ratzinker, zinz ven is it you are beliefing zat zese... zese... DEmons... are POzzessing ze peepuls from too much ze rocking und ze rolling und zurfing on ze webz, hmmm? Und zose efil FAIries vich you are sayink vill be cauzink ze Vorld Var III yes, pleez to be tellink me more of zese... do you zee zem venever you are vearing ze big banquet napkin on ze het, und carryink ze zilver shtick vith ze gruzefied Gott in a diaper handle, und zittink in zat zhrone vith all ze NAked baby boyce vit ze golden winks flutterink und flitterink all over? Unt you zay you are in lovink vith Fatter no... so you vere jealousy of Motter? You haf perhaps ze... ze... zexual FANtazies of ze Fatter? Maybe ven it is you are dyink you vill be uniting vith for all ze times? OK. How vas it your trainink for ze toilet zen? You are feelink asham-ed of ze bodily... oriFICes... und hordink ze digestational byprodux? Any cool tattooz? Awezum. Do you collect toast? Uh-huh, und you say you can be seeink sometimes ze Motter's faze in ze toastinks? Interestink..."
 
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Damien Evans said:
{Monty Python]What a strange person![/Monty Python]
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Well, he used to be head of The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, formerly the Inquisition. I don't know if they still had the nice red uniforms.
 
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The Devil Within - Exorcism in the United States
"With renewed energy and fervor, the world has plunged again into a paranormal realm. Interest in psychic phenomena, communicating with the dead, and healing with the power of the mind have become, in this age of science, a gateway to the mysterious and escape from the mundane. Religion has also turned back to a more fantastical realm: Exorcisms. Once forgotten, casting out the devil is back in vogue."
 
UnrepentantSinner said:
Has anyone told Bob Larson that the Pontiff is trying to horn in on his territory?
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It was interesting as I read your link, I recalled the Saffron encounter, and low and behold it is mentioned at the end of the article - That was seriously some of the creepiest pieces of TV I have ever seen.

Not mentioned in the article was an interview with the camerman who filmed the piece. He also back up Saffrons version of events, and said he was convinced something 'odd' had occured.

To really understand that, it needs to be seen in the context with the rest of the series. Each week Saffron would spend time with people of a specific faith - often puting a light hearted spin on events - Such as when he was in the Buddhist retreat for a week, and was constantly wacked by the head teacher for falling asleep during meditation. Or when he had the Voodoo experience, all he was interested in was the ablitity of the spirit that had entered him to handle Australian beer lol
 
Not to tangent the thread too much but that's very interesting. I'll need to do some digging on Saffron when I have more time (same bandwidth issues at home that prevented me from noticing and taking your cricket bat link). I did a quick Google and it appears that the anti-Bob Larson site has either gone defunct or is out of favor and it also appears that the crazy charlatan still has a viable "ministry."
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=bob+larson

Sigh... if Randi's expose of Popoff and 20/20s expose of Benny Hinn, etc. etc. won't stanch the cash flow, I don't know what will stop the sheeple from supporting these hucksters.
 
The Pope has ordered his bishops to set up exorcism squads to tackle the rise of Satanism.

Vatican chiefs are concerned at what they see as an increased interest in the occult.

They have introduced courses for priests to combat what they call the most extreme form of "Godlessness."

Each bishop is to be told to have in his diocese a number of priests trained to fight demonic possession.

The initiative was revealed by 82-year-old Father Gabriele Amorth, the Vatican "exorcistinchief," to the online Catholic news service Petrus.
Click to expand...


Hang on- isn't this pretty much the same rise in irrational nonsense Richard Dawkins has been ranting about?
 
Working at a large university, I say anything which can be done to stop the widespread projectile vomiting that occurs on weekends will be a good deal.

Couldn't be due to alcohol, that's against the rules....
 
MG1962 said:
Maybe some have jumped the gun

http://www.cwnews.com/news/viewstory.cfm?recnum=55627
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I suspect this article is simply a cover story.

Intended to fool Satan into a false sense of security.

Then, when he least expects it the Legion of God will attack! Those demons possessing all those radio and internet users who have given their souls for pleasure will be purged and sent to the lower regions to suffer the torments of Hell's ever burning fire!

Satan will be put back in his hole and Righteousness shall again reign!

Or unfortunate people that have conditions in need of medical or mental/emotional care will be subjected to voodoo and witchcraft tactics, and tormented instead of cured :(

Hopefully your link's denial is correct.
 
This Guy said:
Then, when he least expects it the Legion of God will attack! Those demons possessing all those radio and internet users who have given their souls for pleasure will be purged and sent to the lower regions to suffer the torments of Hell's ever burning fire!
Click to expand...

You dont mean dial up down load speeds do you :p
 
Well thank god that this is the 21st century and we have a scientific understanding of the causes of epilepsy and medical treatments that can be administered to patients suffering from the condition.

Oh wait...

Nevermind.
 
I'm thinking the Vatican Bank must be secretly bankrolling a bunch of supernatural-themed horror movies, and this is a ploy to boost ticket sales.
 
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