LDS

[halleyscomet]

Well, apparently there are a few BOM fanfics out there, based on the book itself, not on the musical, so maybe you've got yourself a niche Mormon market.

I'd have to be drunk to write a BoM romance novel, but given the low quality threshold for fiction writing in religious markets that might not be a problem. I could quickly write a condensed BoM, which would give me the knowledge needed to write a novelization. After that I could churn out a few Harlequin format romance novels set in the BoM.

Every line written with a cocktail in hand.

 

[bruto]

Do you think there's a market for a condensed version of the Book of Mormon ....

Angel of Lite?

 

[jsfisher]

Angel of Lite?

White and light some.

or maybe white and delete some.

 

[pakeha]

Odd that LDS doesn't have people studying Reformed Egyptian the way Jews study Hebrew.

No need to, Cleon!
As our Mormon posters have told us, the worth of the BOA outweighs any questions about its source.

 

[halleyscomet]

Serious question time:

Is the Seal of Solomon and / or the Testament of Solomon used or featured in the LDS church or any of its offshoots? I know there was a lot of ritual and symbolism lifted from the Freemasons, so it may have been lifted along with that, or incorporated on its own. Incorporating The Testament of Solomon at some level would help explain some of the true name magic involved in the postmortem baptisms.

 

[Empress]

Oh dear god, the thread is back. Are you writing your fanfic?

Frankly, I don't recall anything about the Seal of Solomon from my childhood. In fact, I was wholly ignorant of the Testament of Solomon until I was an adult. Someone who is actually a Mormon might know better, but I've never heard any of my Mormon friends or family mention it.

 

[halleyscomet]

Oh dear god, the thread is back. Are you writing your fanfic?

Frankly, I don't recall anything about the Seal of Solomon from my childhood. In fact, I was wholly ignorant of the Testament of Solomon until I was an adult. Someone who is actually a Mormon might know better, but I've never heard any of my Mormon friends or family mention it.

I'm not writing it yet. I'm helping my wife and her best friend in a debate about categorizing fan fiction. The most common translation of the Testament of Solomon appear to be heavily edited to insert some Christian themes that didn't even exist until decades after the Crucifixion, when the Gospels were written. It's possible the document originated only a few hundred years ago as an origin story for a few Freemason symbols.

 

[RandFan]

I've never heard of the seal of Solomon. My father worked in the SLC temple most of his professional life. He told a lot of stories but I don't remember that one.

 

[Apology]

Janadele has said that when Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, Adam had "eternal life". However, she later said that "eternal life" equalled 1 day of God's life, which equalled 1,000 dog human years. Therefore the term "eternal", in Mormon theology, actually means 1,000 dog human years, or one day in God's life.

If that's true, then maybe God changes his mind constantly, like, several times a day, and that's why it takes the church 140 years to right an obvious wrong like the racism thing. I mean, 140 years, that's only like 15 minutes of God's time. By the time God manages to tell the prophet "Whoops! I was wrong, I changed my mind," three generations of prophets have lived and died and a century has gone by.

 

[halleyscomet]

Mormon Trolls Attempting To Censure Mormon Sex Scandals

 

[halleyscomet]

TW: Child Abuse

The Mormon Gulag

Besides Mormonism and multi level marketing schemes and scams, Utah is also known for its horrible "Troubled Teen"-industry. Reports over and over again tells of appalling atrocities in Mormon run "boarding schools", teen boot camps, boys and girl ranches, wilderness camps, or "Academies", that more properly could be called: teen concentration camps. Hundreds of young adults, who were lucky enough to survive the systematic brutal torture and abuse at these camps give disturbing testimonials. Many thousands have been mentally scarred for life by the abuse and torture they survived in those Mormon run teen concentration camps. Children and teens who have been to one of these places - often abducted or kidnapped and duct-taped and thrown in the back of a wan and driven to Utah, will end up having far deeper problems upon release. Most often they will never forgive their parents for sending them to these camps and they and their families will suffer the rest of their lives.

 

[dafydd]

I've never heard of the seal of Solomon. My father worked in the SLC temple most of his professional life. He told a lot of stories but I don't remember that one.

Was that the performing seal who played the car horns?

 

[halleyscomet]

I had the weirdest dream last night. In it I was talking to a woman who claimed to be a Satanist, but her theology merged Mormonism and Scientology. She believed Xenu came from Kolob and was the God that Satan rebelled against. In her theology this made Jesus the obedient son of an intergalactic warlord who murdered billions in a nuclear explosion. This made Satan the rebel who first taught humans to free themselves of Body thetans, which in turn weakens Xenu's control over us.

Becoming cleared in Scientology was the REAL perquisite to becoming a deity with our own planet. The LDS was created by Xenu to keep us from achieving this goal by keeping body thetans bound to us. It all came down to Xenu wanting to stop the spread of humanity.

The Earthly Church of Scientology was, in her theology, also a false church, created to teach enough of the "truth" to placate humanity, but not enough to really escape the cycle of death and rebirth, keeping us bound in the process.

It was a weird dream, but it made about as much sense as the Book of Mormon.

 

[Elind]

I had the weirdest dream last night. In it I was talking to a woman who claimed to be a Satanist, but her theology merged Mormonism and Scientology. She believed Xenu came from Kolob and was the God that Satan rebelled against. In her theology this made Jesus the obedient son of an intergalactic warlord who murdered billions in a nuclear explosion. This made Satan the rebel who first taught humans to free themselves of Body thetans, which in turn weakens Xenu's control over us.

Becoming cleared in Scientology was the REAL perquisite to becoming a deity with our own planet. The LDS was created by Xenu to keep us from achieving this goal by keeping body thetans bound to us. It all came down to Xenu wanting to stop the spread of humanity.

The Earthly Church of Scientology was, in her theology, also a false church, created to teach enough of the "truth" to placate humanity, but not enough to really escape the cycle of death and rebirth, keeping us bound in the process.

It was a weird dream, but it made about as much sense as the Book of Mormon.

Were you watching Stargate the day before, perhaps?

 

[halleyscomet]

Were you watching Stargate the day before, perhaps?

I haven't watched Stargage since before it became the "Farscape Reunion Show."

 

[Foster Zygote]

No, humans' gods always seem concerned that the penis be pacified.

What about Zardoz?

 

[Elind]

No, humans' gods always seem concerned that the penis be pacified.

I had to pick up on this one. All gods seem to be obsessed with penises, and what they do; particularly the Christian and Muslim ones. No doubt the extinct ones did too, but I don't know as much about them.

 

[Kopji]

I have a sudden desire to write a condensed Book of Mormon. The question is what would I CALL it and how could I market it to Mormons?

Do you think there's a market for a condensed version of the Book of Mormon targeted at Christians who want to learn more about this offshoot sect?

What about a novelization? Christians read adaptations of Bible stories all the time. Would Mormons read such a thing?

Already done and done. There are at least four versions of the Book of Mormon I know of. A graphic novel version would probably be very doable, but I think might offend the sensibilities of at least some Mormons.

The Reorganized Church aka Community of Christ (Coc) published a more 'readable' version back in the 1960's that is still in print and available. This is very popular and if you bought the BoM in a regular bookstore somewhere it might be this version. If the BoM you have is printed in single column like a regular book, instead of double column like the KJV Bible - it is an RLDS version. Mostly, the verses are completely different numbering. This makes it a little more difficult for various Mormon sects to get into scripture and verse fights, probably just as well.

There is a document that covers some differences here:
http://www.dialoguejournal.com/wp-content/uploads/sbi/articles/Dialogue_V10N04_10.pdf

I haven't read the whole thing but it seems reasonably fair.

 

[RoboTimbo]

Mormon Trolls Attempting To Censure Mormon Sex Scandals

Why hasn't Janadele been telling us these things? I thought she wanted us to learn about LDS.

 

[Janadele]

Why hasn't Janadele been telling us these things? I thought she wanted us to learn about LDS.

Sadly, those who refuse to open their eyes to the truth are a lost cause, not worthy of wasting precious time over.
Each has a choice to follow Lucifer or Christ. I choose Jesus Christ and have absolutely no interest nor time to debate or consider the lies and misunderstandings propagated by the followers of Lucifer.