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School bullies many years later.

Dogdoctor said:
When I was in high school there was one guy who persistently attempted to bully me however it was ineffective since he was slow moving and his punches didn't hurt. At that point I was in a pacifism stage in my life and would just let him punch me then comment on how weak his punches were. He went on to become a real tough guy who could punch hard but alcoholism did him in. He was involved in a series of serious car accidents and suffered liver damage from drinking and pain killers he was taking due to numerous injuries. When I last saw him we made amends and became friends again as we once were as little kids. He ended up dying most likely related to drinking.
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Lifes full of tradgedys great and small. The bullys I knew where so bad that people heaved a hugh sigh of relief when they kicked off. Too bad, it should have happened sooner attitude.
 
I don't have the same tales of woe as everyone else, but that's because I have been fortunate in my life to have an 'anti-bully' as a little brother.

My brother, George, and I are a year apart in age and grew up in a small coal mining town. As little kids we were picked on, I was the bookish nerd and he was the chubby boy with a severe speech impediment.

Suddenly, junior high came and my brother shot up to 6'2 (he reached 6'6 eventually) and his speech, after years of therapy, was normal. My anti-bully was born.

It started when some jocks were in a school hall way picking on a retarded child. George actually put one of them in a garbage can, another upside down in a locker. This continued throughout the rest of his school career. I called him 'Defender of the Meek'.

George eventually became a cop. It wasn't a shock to me. I still have the newspaper clipping of when he pulled a small child basically out of the jaws of a pitbull-mix and got himself mauled instead. He makes me proud every day.

The retarded kid he saved from the bullies? My brother takes the guy to the store once a week to shop and takes him to doctors appointments.
 
Pinkymcfatfat said:
I don't have the same tales of woe as everyone else, but that's because I have been fortunate in my life to have an 'anti-bully' as a little brother.

My brother, George, and I are a year apart in age and grew up in a small coal mining town. As little kids we were picked on, I was the bookish nerd and he was the chubby boy with a severe speech impediment.

Suddenly, junior high came and my brother shot up to 6'2 (he reached 6'6 eventually) and his speech, after years of therapy, was normal. My anti-bully was born.

It started when some jocks were in a school hall way picking on a retarded child. George actually put one of them in a garbage can, another upside down in a locker. This continued throughout the rest of his school career. I called him 'Defender of the Meek'.

George eventually became a cop. It wasn't a shock to me. I still have the newspaper clipping of when he pulled a small child basically out of the jaws of a pitbull-mix and got himself mauled instead. He makes me proud every day.

The retarded kid he saved from the bullies? My brother takes the guy to the store once a week to shop and takes him to doctors appointments.
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I sure wish I had a brother like him.
 
I had one of the best bully preventers

I was weird as hell in highschool.

Seriously people told me they were to afraid to fight me because they were afraid I'd pull out a gun or knife from nowhere then proceed to take off all my clothes and fight naked.
 
Piggy said:
I hated them, too.

But I was so much older then....
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Well I'm 62 and all of this would be put behind me if I had not semi befriended a former bully in highschool. Talking to him and trying in vain to reason with him brings back the memories. They never change and whatever portion of the brain that causes us to act in a decent rational manner seems to be totally lacking in this sick old punk I drink with every Saturday.

Talking to this guy about common decency is like discussing sex with a space alien.
 
I have to add this. I'm not trying to get even with this guy at the bar. I can tell he enjoys my company. He never bullied me although he would have had we shared the same bus or classroom. I often observed him making some poor kids life Hell and enjoying every agonizing second of it.

I can't read this old jerks mind but perhaps he gets the same feeling from me that I get when I'm in the presence of an artist. I can't draw and I can't paint nor can I sculpt. The artist has something that I commpletely lack. Ok the impression I get from this person is a lack of something.

This guys not afraid of anything. He's dying and he's not scared at all. On the rare occassions hed lose a fight hed just pick himself up and walk away as if nothing happened. The size of his opponents didn't matter. The amount of opponents didn't seem to matter. I once observed him fight four guys at the same time. His arm was broken and he just didn't care. I thought he was a dead man but after the fight was over he just walked off.

The guys psychotic. Interesting but psychotic.
 
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Cainkane1 said:
Well I'm 62 and all of this would be put behind me if I had not semi befriended a former bully in highschool. Talking to him and trying in vain to reason with him brings back the memories. They never change and whatever portion of the brain that causes us to act in a decent rational manner seems to be totally lacking in this sick old punk I drink with every Saturday.

Talking to this guy about common decency is like discussing sex with a space alien.
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Most of us would avoid the kind of person who carves his name with a knife in someone else's head, or any head.

Is there a different bar in town?

The kind of misbehavior I knew was 70's drug culture misbehavior, and although we all wanted to be Duane Allman, we weren't sociopaths. (This is sort of the point I've been trying to make, to the extent I had a point.)
 
I believe there is a connection. I think schoolyard bullies grow into adults with Type A personalities. People with Type A personalities tend to die younger, seeing as though they can't cope with their anger or stress. A lot of them smoke, drink or do drugs to deal with this. I once worked with a man who was a classic Type A personality. He chainsmoked in his office, verbally abused his coworkers, drank a lot, and was overweight. He ended up having a heart attack in his late 40's.
 
Jeffexor said:
I believe there is a connection. I think schoolyard bullies grow into adults with Type A personalities. People with Type A personalities tend to die younger, seeing as though they can't cope with their anger or stress. A lot of them smoke, drink or do drugs to deal with this. I once worked with a man who was a classic Type A personality. He chainsmoked in his office, verbally abused his coworkers, drank a lot, and was overweight. He ended up having a heart attack in his late 40's.
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The worst psycho I knew of didn't drink or smoke. He didn't do drugs either. He routinely beat his children and wife. His wife was scared to leave him. He died of colon cancer at age 63. Nobody went to his funeral. The guy I keep harping about is a very liight drinker.

I do however believe his wasting sickness manifested itself in another way when he was a teenager. Perhaps a chemical imbalance.


I stick with this guy because he interests me. He can't hurt anybody anymore except with his mouth.
 
Got bullied in school by two girls in my class. Couldn't do anything about it because I was so socially conditioned not to hit girls. Also bullied by two boys a year younger than me but a lot bigger.

Have met up with both sets since. Met the girls at a school reunion and they were delighted to see me as we'd had 'So much fun together in school'. They were genuinely astonished that I 'thought' I'd been bullied and quite upset about it. Apparently this is not unusual.

Also met one of the boys while out walking with my wife. He greeted me like a long lost brother and told my wife that we'd been 'Great friends in school'. Again, he was quite astonished when I reminded him that he used to wait for me after school to 'Kick my head in'. 'Nah, that was just messing about, we never actually kicked your head in.' Which was broadly true - one of them would restrain me whilst the other slapped me a bit and threatened to kick my head in if I didn't beg to be let off. Interestingly, whilst still considerably bigger than me, as adults I wasn't scared of him. I guess a lot of it is down to your own self-confidence and whether you project 'victim'.

As I say, I've read since that it is not unusual for bullies to genuinely remember their bullying in a completely different way to their victims.

Obviously this is tame stuff compared to some of the posts so maybe that's the difference.
 
Vietnam took out a lot of the bullies I grew up with. Others have gone on to be captains of industry. But the draft got the guys that had no college deferment.

The stereo-typing fell apart for me when I joined the swim team. These guys belonged to swim clubs from birth, and were mostly rich, wasps, and honor students. I was the odd man out. It amazed me how arrogant and cruel these guys would get, in a pack. They were also very racist, and treated women like dirt. It worried me that they were groomed for success, and would be running things in the future. I've never looked any of them up.
 
Bikewer said:
I confess I never really kept up with the individuals I knew in high school....
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I have kept up with six or seven of my high school friends all these years. we get together a couple of times every year. they all came to my and Susan's wedding, and they all visited me in the hospital this past year. the nurses thought that it was a bit suspicious that one of my high school girlfriends was visiting me, and asked Susan if she was worried. She wasn't, since she knows how much I love her.
 
Man, my schools were freaking war zones. I got bullied a little, but some size plus gaining reputation for being a little "nuts" (when someone thinks you'll blow up their house, they tend to back off) took care of most of it. Junior high was worse. We had guys that would just punch people at random, every day. You'd try to keep away from them until they picked a target. Another guy would go from seat to seat on the bus, beating the crap out of a new target each day. I'm still proud of the day he picked me (age 11). He sat down, and began pounding on my leg to start. I didn't even look up from my reading. After a while, he actually asked me, "Why aren't you crying?"

I responded, "My older brother is 6'1", over 300 pounds, a power lifter, and a football player. He has, since I was small, used me as a tackling dummy. You ain't got nothing." He got up and left, declaring I was "no fun".

The awed looks from the other kids on the bus were probably the best thing to ever happen to me at that point. I got a rep for taking punches without reacting much, and once I grew larger than the majority of my classmates, no one really wanted to try me any more.
 
I was bullied by a couple kids in high school, not seriously beaten or anything but definitely physically intimidated. Years later, one of them applied for a position I had open. Our company didn't normally send rejection letters, but I cheerfully wrote one up and sent it.

And I also had a girl in high school who I was hopelessly in love with and who took every opportunity to belittle me and make sure I knew she was cool and I wasn't. I saw her at our twentieth reunion and would conservatively estimate her weight at 350 pounds. She saw me and immediately started in about the good times we'd had. I just nodded politely as she told me about her two failed marriages and numerous failed relationships.

That karmic boomerang, just when you think there's no such thing it comes winging back in for the smackdown.
 
I wonder how permanent effects from being bullied in high school are? How long do people continue to harbor effects? I just googled it and found this guy
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=13057
who says these are potential side effects of being bullied


In the short term:

Anger
Depression
Anxious avoidance of settings in which bullying may occur.
Greater incidence of illness
Lower grades than non-bullied peers
Suicidal thoughts and feelings (In one British retrospective bullying experiences survey I came across (of unknown scientific value), 20% of the sample attempted suicide secondary to having been bullied, whereas only 3% of participants who were not bullied attempted suicide).
In the long term:

Reduced occupational opportunities
Lingering feelings of anger and bitterness, desire for revenge.
Difficulty trusting people
Interpersonal difficulties, including fear and avoidance of new social situations
Increased tendency to be a loner
Perception of self as easy to victimize, overly sensitive, and thin-skinned
Self-esteem problems (don't think well of self)
Increased incidence of continued bullying and victimization
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I tried to find a similar list for effects of having been a bully but apparently it's not to interesting of a subject at this point.

After having read this I think maybe all of my bully experiences were minor compared to others or maybe for the most part I got even with the bullies so it never bothered me after that.
 
I wonder how permanent effects from being bullied in high school are? How long do people continue to harbor effects? I just googled it and found this guy
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I still suffer from emotional and social problems from being bullied in school. And these problems cause me to get bullied around as an adult. So for me it's a never ending thing and will only end when I'm dead.
 
Heh. A highschool memory.



http://www.football-fanshop.com/Mat...8x10-Autographed-Photograph-_90044384_PD.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matt_Suhey


Matt Suhey and Alex Retoff are directly behind me in the gym.

The high pull-up bars are in front of me, beyond them, the girls, on the other side.

I start to do my pull-ups, but Alex R. comes up behind me and pulls down my gym shorts in front of everybody.

I fall to the ground, trying to get my shorts back up.

Years later, I hear that to amuse each other, when they call each other, Matt and Alex use one of two joke names--Glenn A.--in prison for dope. or Caleb ------.

That's how incomprehensible we were to each other--the children of college profs vs. the jocks.

Ah, those lovable prank-playing, towel-snapping, IQ-challenged jocks.

**** them. And everyone like them.

Matt Suhey now owns some restaurants, last I heard, and believes in fine living, wine-tasting. An old girlfriend ran into him on a plane once, that's how I know.
 
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