I am oficially impersonating a MDC applicant right now

[Wildy]

Language wise I would suggest adding some spelling errors, and if you want crazy grammar, take a look at the "penis" thread in the Religion forum.

 

[Ron_Tomkins]

sorry for my gramatical errors. however I hope you will not disqualify me from the challenge because of that

Please do not make fun of those who are different

when you pinch me do I not bleed?
If you tickle me I will laugh
If you scratch my back I scratch your back

I have had this power for a long time

I would be willing to demonstrate it to randi
just tell me what to do

I can move objects. Would this be considered a good test?
I can also talk to people who are in another room. I have done this twice

I will also post some videos of my powers on youtube
I just can't do it yet because I need more posts to be able to post a link

thank you
sincerely
Ryan

 

[Safe-Keeper]

You forgot "they laughed at Einstein, too", and "scientists used to believe x, and they were wrong".

 

[Yeah_Right]

I prefer the dead not talking back, it makes them good listeners.

 

[wexer9]

1. Shouldn't this thread be moved?
2. Isn't this thread kind of spammy?

 

[JoeTheJuggler]

1. Shouldn't this thread be moved?

As someone mentioned, putting it in the wrong forum was part of the satire, I think.

2. Isn't this thread kind of spammy?

What do you mean by "spammy"? (It's not "spam" by any stretch of the imagination.)

 

[rjh01]

I assume English is not your first language?

 

[Soapy Sam]

You don't HAVE to take the $1M. You can give it to a charity, such as the Poor Soapy Sam Foundation.

Oh. You forgot to say you didn't want the money.
Fail.

 

[Akhenaten]

sorry for my gramatical errors. however I hope you will not disqualify me from the challenge because of that

Please do not make fun of those who are different

My apologies if I appeared to be making fun of you. I was actually laughing WITH you.

when you pinch me do I not bleed?
If you tickle me I will laugh
If you scratch my back I scratch your back

I have had this power for a long time

I assume that these abilities form part of your overall claim, and I foresee no particular difficulty with the members of the forum in creating a suitable protocol.

I would be willing to demonstrate it to randi
just tell me what to do

Perhaps you could produce a video for Youtube in which you pinch, tickle and scratch yourself. The resultant bleeding, laughing and relief from itching should provide ample evidence to attract Mr Randi's attention.

I can move objects. Would this be considered a good test?

Have you tested this ability for yourself? Perhaps a simple protocol could be created here for you to carry out some tests at home, with a trusted friend to assist you. What type of objects do you feel most comfortable moving?

I can also talk to people who are in another room. I have done this twice

This also appears quite testable, but more detail may be required, as there exists a slim possibility that this ability can be effected through non-paranormal means. Are you familiar with telecommunication bias?

I will also post some videos of my powers on youtube
I just can't do it yet because I need more posts to be able to post a link

Aah, my bad, as I didn't read your post all the way through before replying to it.

Please go ahead with your video, and I will be happy to either host it myself or publish the links for you.

thank you
sincerely
Ryan

You're welcome
equally sincerely
Dave

 

[Akhenaten]

1. Shouldn't this thread be moved?

Nup. It's about to become a demonstration of constructive skepticism in action with regard to a paranormal claim. This sub-forum allows a flexibility to do this which doesn't exist in the formal MDC area.

2. Isn't this thread kind of spammy?

Not yet, but our claimant is only just getting up steam. [VfF]You're just being impatient[/VfF]

 

[MRC_Hans]

sorry for my gramatical errors. however I hope you will not disqualify me from the challenge because of that

Please do not make fun of those who are different

But they are more fun than those who are the same.

when you pinch me do I not bleed?
If you tickle me I will laugh
If you scratch my back I scratch your back

Thanks, but no thanks.

I have had this power for a long time

It does sound a tad stale.

I would be willing to demonstrate it to randi
just tell me what to do

Trust me, you don't want me to tell you what you can do with your power.

I can move objects. Would this be considered a good test?

No. Most people can do that.

I can also talk to people who are in another room. I have done this twice

Oh, my wife does that all the time.

I will also post some videos of my powers on youtube
I just can't do it yet because I need more posts to be able to post a link

Oh, you'll soon have anough posts.

Hans

 

[Ron_Tomkins]

Hi

again Im so sorry for posting late

I have had some problems but I assure you everything is okay

Seems like I should be posting very soon
I have two sets of demosntrations

I have come up with a protocol
I will bring two objects: a book and a pencil

I will make the pencil move by itself and also I make the book's pages turn
I can also make the pencil vibrate

This ocurs because the thought waves penetrate the wood
This test will take not long

However I can only move the pencil when people are not looking at me in a fixated way
I will need you to not watch me directly
Do not interfere with your brain waves. Otherwise the experiment will fail

also I can talk to the dead people so I will bring a friend whose sister died
I will ask her questions. You can ask her questions too and I will try to answer to the best I can

sincerely
Ryan

 

[TSR]

Hi

I have come up with a protocol
I will bring two objects: a book and a pencil

I will make the pencil move by itself and also I make the book's pages turn
I can also make the pencil vibrate

This ocurs because the thought waves penetrate the wood
This test will take not long

However I can only move the pencil when people are not looking at me in a fixated way
I will need you to not watch me directly
Do not interfere with your brain waves. Otherwise the experiment will fail

Okay, it's a start. Since you propose not to be touching these objects, I'm sure you will not object ot sitting, say, ten feet away.

Also, perhaps several other pencils should surround the one you propose to move, and another book be placed next to the one you propose to manipulate to help eliminate mundane causes for the movement?

You may being these, too, as long as they can be examined and you do not touch them again before the test has ended.

As to being watched, I see no reason that an unmanned video camera focusssed on the object and not touched until the test ends would not be acceptable.

How far can you move this pencil?

also I can talk to the dead people so I will bring a friend whose sister died
I will ask her questions. You can ask her questions too and I will try to answer to the best I can

It might be better to concentrate on your core claim.

 

[Akhenaten]

Hi

again Im so sorry for posting late

I have had some problems but I assure you everything is okay

Take your time. It's best to have your mind clear of distractions so you can focus on your claim.

Seems like I should be posting very soon
I have two sets of demosntrations

Do you mean you have video recordings? While these in themselves are not acceptable as evidence of any paranormal ability, they should prove very helpful in formulating a preliminary protocol.

I have come up with a protocol

May we see a draft?

I will bring two objects: a book and a pencil

I will make the pencil move by itself and also I make the book's pages turn
I can also make the pencil vibrate

One of the main functions of a test protocol is to eliminate the possibilty of cheating. Have you considered some of the ways that the effects you describe might be achieved by non-paranormal means, and how they might be guarded against?

This ocurs because the thought waves penetrate the wood

For the purpose of a claim on the MDC, there is no requirement for an explanation of how your ability works. Should you wish to provide one it may be better to start a new thread in GS&P. Explanations of this nature often seem to derail protocol discussions and it will serve you better not to be dragged into them.

This test will take not long

It does not appear that it will, and this is probably an advantage for all concerned.

However I can only move the pencil when people are not looking at me in a fixated way
I will need you to not watch me directly

Hopefully you will see that it's obvious that some means of observing you during a test must be devised.

Is this interference only caused by a direct line of sight between you and an observer? If you haven't already, you will need to test yourself with an observer using indirect means of looking at you, such as through a video camera or by means of mirrors, etc.

Do not interfere with your brain waves. Otherwise the experiment will fail

I believe you were thinking out loud there, and your fingers typed by mistake

also I can talk to the dead people so I will bring a friend whose sister died
I will ask her questions. You can ask her questions too and I will try to answer to the best I can

We need to concentrate on your Main Claim, which appears to be telekinesis. Some Claimants cause themselves a great deal of trouble by taking on too much at once, and it's best avoided.

sincerely
Ryan

Hopefully some real protocol-maker-uppers will arrive soon, since I have little experience and I'll be struggling to do your claim justice. Please don't take my comments as those of an expert.


Cheers,


Dave

 

[Blackadder]

Is Satan involved in any of this?

 

[rjh01]

There is something wrong with this thread. Anyone coming here and claiming powers quickly gets a huge thread, much bigger than this one.
See for example Paranormal detection

So I give you a fail.

 

[TSR]

There is something wrong with this thread. Anyone coming here and claiming powers quickly gets a huge thread, much bigger than this one.
See for example Paranormal detection[/URL]

So I give you a fail.

Now, now -- is this not a failure on *our* part, with several people *not* pointing out the absurdity of the whole thing.

I submit is is *we* that have failed....

ETA: I can't even quote an URL yet?

 

[rjh01]

Yes, you are right. I did not make it clear who the fail should go to. I think it should be ambiguous.

 

[TSR]

Yes, you are right. I did not make it clear who the fail should go to. I think it should be ambiguous.

No, I don't think Ryan has claimed to be able to do this on land and in water...

oh, wait -- amBIGuous. My bad

 

[quarky]

I would help with your quest if you would share the money with me.
The vibrating pencil intrigues me.