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Have you ever been sexually assaulted?

Have you been sexually assaulted in your lifetime (see OP for ? specifics)?

  • I'm male, I've been sexually assaulted at least once.

    Votes: 46 21.3%
  • I'm male, I've never been sexually asaulted.

    Votes: 120 55.6%
  • I'm female, I've been sexually assaulted at least once.

    Votes: 21 9.7%
  • I'm female, I've never been sexually asaulted.

    Votes: 22 10.2%
  • On planet X it's one big Bonobo orgy, there's no such thing as assault.

    Votes: 7 3.2%

  • Total voters
    216
You are all forgetting two important things here in my opinion. One, a man doesn't have to have an erection to be raped. And two, a man forced into sex through coercion doesn't have to be restrained. A man might be afraid to fight back, because if he hits or injures a woman he will be the one going to jail. Also, emotional blackmail, or just downright blackmail such as, 'I'll kill myself', or, 'I'll tell everyone you raped me' doesn't need any chemicals, rope, or physical impossibilities.

@skeptigirl Guys get erections. Erections don't always mean they want to ****. What if I said I'd like evidence that women have organisms? Would you not be offended?

There are societal and legal injustice being done to men, just as it is to women. You don't think there are double standards or that the double standards don't hurt men? Don't hurt men enough? Are men supposed to be less effected by rape? Why?

Or are you saying that forcible rape is worse than coerced rape?

Thank you Fiona and Kevin for sensible comments as this discussion is difficult for some of us.
 
The simple fact is society does treat rape by females less seriously. It doesn't matter if a million men are raped by women every year or if only one man is raped by a woman every year. Those victims deserve exactly the same treatment as female victims, and the offender deserves exactly the same treatment as male offenders.
Deserve's got nuthin' to do with it.

Speaking of Clint Eastwood: This thread reminded me of a flick he was in, it may have been The Rookie with Charlie Sheen. Maybe. Been awhile since I seen it. Anyway there's a scene where the heavies get the drop on ole Clint, and he's tied to a chair in an awful room. And the woman comes in, sexiful to the 18th power. They this-and-that for a bit, then she starts making her moves on him. Tells him that if he doesn't measure up, he'd be one dead pidgeon. That was a rape. However, I do recall that ole Clinty didn't really complain all that much. Seemed to - gulp - LIKE it even.
 
Deserve's got nuthin' to do with it.

Speaking of Clint Eastwood: This thread reminded me of a flick he was in, it may have been The Rookie with Charlie Sheen. Maybe. Been awhile since I seen it. Anyway there's a scene where the heavies get the drop on ole Clint, and he's tied to a chair in an awful room. And the woman comes in, sexiful to the 18th power. They this-and-that for a bit, then she starts making her moves on him. Tells him that if he doesn't measure up, he'd be one dead pidgeon. That was a rape. However, I do recall that ole Clinty didn't really complain all that much. Seemed to - gulp - LIKE it even.




Exactly the problem I am talking about. It's not acceptable for a man to even claim he didn't enjoy sex. What is he, some kind of whiny woman, crying about feelings and being used? Man up boy, suck it in and put another notch on that belt.

:rolleyes:
 
Exactly the problem I am talking about. It's not acceptable for a man to even claim he didn't enjoy sex. What is he, some kind of whiny woman, crying about feelings and being used? Man up boy, suck it in and put another notch on that belt.

:rolleyes:

No, it's not that.

It's that men are pigs that think with nothing but their penis and balls. If they have an erection, they want it; period.

And it's our sole guidance, thanks to Evolution, to simply want to get out and get laid as much as possible. If a woman gets the guy to do it... who the hell cares? NOTCH TIME!

This thread is disgusting me more and more as I read it.
 
Exactly the problem I am talking about. It's not acceptable for a man to even claim he didn't enjoy sex. What is he, some kind of whiny woman, crying about feelings and being used? Man up boy, suck it in and put another notch on that belt.

:rolleyes:
That's what we call reality. World's full of double standards, both ways for both sexes.

And in the context of this flickeroo: Clint's character DID enjoy it.
 
My girlfriend once tried to convince me that it was physically impossible for a male to urinate while experiencing an erection. She had read it in a woman's magazine that educated women on some of the secret "facts" about males.

Despite assuring her, repeatedly, that the magazine was wrong, she still isn't entirely convinced. I am beginning to think that even a demonstration will not convince her... :eye-poppi

I am honestly amazed at how often I experience women trying to tell me "facts" about males and refusing to accept by personal assurance that they are mistaken.

Don't be too angry at your girlfriend. I was once told the same thing by a sex-ed instructor in 10th grade!

And the instructor wasn't a woman, either.

For what it is worth, it isn't entirely unheard of for women to experience orgasms during rape. I remember a Court TV show on a serial rapist who performed oral sex on all of his victims and usually succeeded in having them climax because he wanted to believe that they enjoyed it.

It's a mechanical response and doesn't signify enjoyment, of course.
 
I do not follow this. I would certainly post in threads on those topics because they interest me? Is this in some way reprehensible in your mind?

Not at all. I was responding to the question "What is the real issue here?", and I do think that to some extent Skeptigirl got a vigorous response because she looked like she was articulating a kind of women-first feminism that (arguably justifiably) a lot of people have a problem with.

I imagine if I posted something like "I don't believe women are really traumatised by rape when the woman is physically aroused, I think they're probably exaggerating the effects so they can sue, and besides she was a pretty fit girl I don't think she possibly could have been raped unless she wanted it, etc" I'd get a pretty warm response too, even if I also asked for evidence to prove those opinions wrong.

That was the sole point I was making, I wasn't criticising anyone for participating in debates about sex equality (I'd be a huge hypocrite if I did that).
 
Does a guy need the woman to be aroused to rape her? I assume you are being facetious since rape is a violent act and unless you are talking statutory rape, which we are not, women do not have climaxes when raped.

I'm trying to highlight your double-standard, and also here your claim that women don't have climaxes. Female rape victims do sometimes experience physical arousal--engorgement of the sex organs, or nipples, lubrication, or yes, even orgasm. This of course doesn't mean they weren't raped--but it also doesn't mean a male who had an erection during a rape (by male or female attacker) wasn't raped.

Here are random links to a victim anecdote, and a counselling guidelines; as these are situations dealing with victims one-on-one I'd think they'd count as a bit of evidence, unless they're lying. These types of themes (orgasm or erection reaction to rape) are common if you care to look for it:

http://yourtotalhealth.ivillage.com/surviving-rape-overcoming-guilt.html

When I was 18 I dated a man who was very abusive. At the end of our relationship he violently raped me in my living room. We had been together for more than a year, and he knew "the right moves," so I had an orgasm. I have the worst case of guilt over that fact, so much so that I haven't been able to have more than a dozen orgasms since.

[counseler's response:]

Please be gentle and stop making yourself feel bad about having had an unexpected orgasm that evening. Many women who have been raped report that, they, too, experienced an orgasm against their will. So is that, then, "proof" that they enjoyed it? Absolutely not! And even though it seems that their body betrayed their emotions, many women still feel guilt and shame over this occurrence, just as you have. Your body experienced a physiological reaction in response to the physical stimulation it received, yet this in no way means that you were unconsciously desiring or enjoying this vicious assault.

http://www.uwstout.edu/cvpp/male_page.html

Myth: Getting an erection or ejaculation during sexual assault means "you really wanted it" or you consented.
Fact: Getting an erection shows nothing other than your body responds the way it is suppose to. It has nothing to do with desire. If you were penetrated, the pressure from the prostate gland would cause an erection. Ejaculation is also very normal and some rapist will go out of their way to make sure you ejaculate, to try and make you feel ashamed, (adds to their dominate feeling of power) and they know it will likely reduce your chances of reporting the crime.

[...]

According to Groth, some assailants may try to get their victim to ejaculate because for the rapist, it symbolizes their complete sexual control over their victim's body. Since ejaculation is not always within conscious control but rather an involuntary physiological reaction, rapists frequently succeed at getting their male victims to ejaculate. As Groth and Burgess have found in their research, this aspect of the attack is extremely stressful and confusing to the victim. In misidentifying ejaculation with orgasm, the victim may be bewildered by his physiological response during the sexual assault and, therefore, may be discouraged from reporting the assault for fear his sexuality may become suspect (Groth & Burgess, 1980).

I also vaguely recall several years ago (maybe 10-15) a small controversy as to whether defense lawyers in a specific case, or maybe in general, could argue that--since a female got "wet" during a rape (or orgasmed) it was consentual. Of course the answer is no, it doesn't mean this. But the same applies to males for their response, either of emissions or outright erection. A victim's physical response to rape is no defense of the rape!

Let me be blunt: How is the woman supposed to get that flaccid thing to go in?

Stimulate it and make it hard. You're overestimating the male mind's control of the organ.

If it's around puberty, it's statutory rape, I've not said that doesn't happen.
If the guy's passed out, I've only said erections are less likely. Passed out or asleep, I've never said that was OK.
Physical assault which includes sexual components, never said it couldn't happen.

We're in agreement on most of this, but I think you're way off-base on the erection thing, and the physical forcing thing.

But physically forcing an unwilling male's penis into the vagina of a female rapist, people here sure seem to be willing to say it happens when no one can produce more than an Internet rumor it actually ever has, that is the act I am skeptical of.

I don't know if it ever has happened, as females raping males is very rare, whether by this method or inserting something. It certainly can happen though, and certainly has happened in cases where males rape males.

Edited to add the rape here excludes the guy who is asleep or intoxicated. The point is can a woman physically force a man to have an erection and subsequently rape him?

Can they, yes. Do they, my hunch is that yes, in a few cases, but it's very rare.

I'm not disputing that males are more violent, or rape more, much more than women. Due to both innate factors and social factors. I'm just disputing the idea that females can't rape males (by all methods that males can rape females). One can believe that males are far more likely to rape, but that males can still be victims of rape, without contradicting either belief.
 
Don't be too angry at your girlfriend. I was once told the same thing by a sex-ed instructor in 10th grade!

And the instructor wasn't a woman, either.

It's close to the truth, it's just a bit off.

When the male organs are gearing up for ejaculation the pathway between the bladder and the urethra does shut off for a while. A man can't urinate shortly before orgasm, or for a short period afterwards.

Erection itself presents no insurmountable obstacle to urination, however it does create issues with aim and velocity.
 
It's close to the truth, it's just a bit off.

When the male organs are gearing up for ejaculation the pathway between the bladder and the urethra does shut off for a while. A man can't urinate shortly before orgasm, or for a short period afterwards.
Anecdotal Fact that you Didn't Need to Know (yes, it's anecdotal, and I doubt anyone did a full study on it, so SKeptigirl won't believe it happens):

Urinating shortly after this point is a lesson in pain.

Erection itself presents no insurmountable obstacle to urination, however it does create issues with aim and velocity.

You sound like you're talking about a gun... :covereyes
 
I would like to believe this but it would seem there is no evidence it actually occurs. My issue is not that it isn't remotely possible. On that I am just not sure. My issue is how many people here are just assuming it occurs. When we went to look for the data it actually did, the evidence was unconvincing.

From Dr. Ruth's website

An erection can be caused either by psychogenic stimuli (erotic thoughts) or by reflexes which occur when sensory receptors on the penile skin and glands are activated (touched). (emphasis mine)

From a WebMD article, reviewed by an MD

You've probably noticed that your penis often does its own thing. You may remember times when it was completely inappropriate to have an erection; and yet you couldn't wish it away.

It's true that you have less command over your penis than body parts like your arms and legs. That's because the penis answers to a part of the nervous system that's not always under your conscious control. This is called the autonomic nervous system, which also regulates heart rate and blood pressure.

Sexual arousal usually isn't voluntary. The conscious mind is complicit in it, but a lot of sexual arousal goes on in the sympathetic nervous system. In addition, impulses from the brain during the REM phase of sleep cause erections, whether you're dreaming about sex or about a test you forgot to study for. Heavy lifting or straining to have a bowel movement can also produce an erection.

From the National Institute of Health

Your brain starts an erection by sending nerve signals to the penis when it senses sexual stimulation. Touching may cause this arousal.

While it is possible of course to get an erection because a male finds something sexually exciting and pleasant, it is also possible for simple contact to cause an erection, regardless of the context. And, truth be told, neither excitement NOR contact is absolutely necessary either, as the WebMD article mentions: nocturnal penile tumescence happens often, and the male does not have to be having a sexual dream for it to occur.

So yes, it is entirely possible for a man to sustain an erection even though he does not like what is going on. Males are this way their entire lives; autonomous response to stimulus is one of the ways some non-violent child abusers convince themselves and their victims that they're not doing anything wrong.
 
In graduate school there was this girl (very attractive) who asked me more than once if I would walk her to her car.
"Where are you parked?"
"I'm in Lot A"
"Oh, I'm in E."
"So you won't come with me?"
"Um.... no." (As in "duh, of course I'm not gonna walk out that way).

The first time she asked I thought it was a weird question, until I then realized -- duh, she's tiny and gorgeous -- so she's afraid of getting raped.
 
I'm trying to highlight your double-standard, and also here your claim that women don't have climaxes. Female rape victims do sometimes experience physical arousal--engorgement of the sex organs, or nipples, lubrication, or yes, even orgasm. This of course doesn't mean they weren't raped--but it also doesn't mean a male who had an erection during a rape (by male or female attacker) wasn't raped.
Even cursory investigation into psychological sources will show evidence of this. The point of bringing this all up, the point of jumping upon Skeptigirl when she confuses, denies, or downplays the difference between consent and arousal, is that this particular brand of idiocy is responsible for significant psychological damage with respect to rape and sexual harassment. Case studies into why rapes go unreported, into why people feel guilty or ashamed under circumstances where they are in fact the victim, feature the topic prominently.
 
I'm surprised how a debate about how male erections could go on so misinformed for so many pages. Facts being held in such high regard here, how could involuntary erections among adult males even be questioned? May I suggest a move to Conspiracy Theories?

What is more troubling is that the original purpose for the thread loses potential by the minute. If we question who can be raped by whom, how can we possibly expect people to share personal experiences of such nature?
 

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