Jesus created Sex

Once again, I'm doing the nasty thing of editing other people's posts--but it's only because I'm a little compulsive...

Also, it helps me think about what you're saying, DJJ.


Davidjayjordan said:
calebprime said:
as edited, somewhat hastily, by calebprime

I ally myself with those that have love and have Jesus. While "having love" is not well-defined, both these qualities ("having love" and "having Jesus") are pretty easy to discern. The people who love in this way can come from any nationality, race, creed, or background. Their "heart" choices is what makes them Christians--or should I say true Christians.

All church systems are false, because people in groups no longer think as individuals ought to. Individuals ought to follow Jesus and make individual choices. Only when Jesus gathers us will we be joined together as one.
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I'm therefore a true Christian. I'm a little surprised.

Don't you think you could learn from the scholarship of other Christians such as Raymond E Brown, or Crossan, or Gary Wills, or James Carrol?

Are they true Christians? Would they agree with you, and vice versa?

Davidjayjordan said:
So let's focus on the Marriage Feast and the love and sex that will be there.

...

Read Revelation and the two harvests. ...
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Now we're getting somewhere

No.

or rather, I might after I finish Lewin's GMAT, The Falling Man, by Delillo, Outrage, by Bugliosi, American Ground, Remembrance of Things Past, A Capote Reader, various books by Edward Abbey, The Once and Future King, What ARE People FOR? by Wendell Berry and about 50 other books...

DJJ, I suggest you type something a little more substantial about Revelations, or the Marriage Feast, or whatever. Just put it out there. Mention the parts where you have uncertainties. Make each step of your argument explicit.

example:

assertion 1: The Bible is the unchanging word of God, with no mistakes in translation. Or the mistakes in translation are trivial.

assertion 2: The books contained in the Bible are the only ones that are important; the other books not included in the canon are heresy or worse.

assertion 3: The Book of Revelations contains passages which are explicitly intended to be prophecies.

assertion 4: These prophecies have been shown to be accurate in other cases.

actually, I'm doing a sloppy job, here. you get the idea, though.


slingblade said:
Will you be there?
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also, will dogs and cats and parrots be in heaven? If so, what do they eat?

Do their digestive systems work the same way?

If there is no bacteria in heaven, will there be cheese? I like cheese.

I'm serious about these questions.
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JonnyFive said:
Now, back to the topic, is it possible that making fun of DJJ will ever get old?
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Don't know for sure about that (seems unlikely, though), but my skeptie senses are all a tingle...I predict a thread split to AAH in the near future.
 
jsfisher said:
Don't know for sure about that (seems unlikely, though), but my skeptie senses are all a tingle...I predict a thread split to AAH in the near future.
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Only because the moderators are afraid of what we are discovering. We are on the verge of cracking the potter code! do the math!!!!!
 
joobz said:
You're right! Potter, you dirty butthole.

The current Pope is Benedict the 16th.
The last pope was John Paul the second.
16 divided by 2 is 8.
The pope before was John Paul 1.
8-1=7 and the 7th book is out this summer.
John Paul the First was only Pope for 33 days, 3+3=6
Also, the Pope before the John Paul the first was:
Paul the Sixth!!!

Potter has 6 letters?

Harry Potter controls the Catholic Church, which means the curch is linked to 9/11!
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I have it on good authority from Zeus himself that in the 7th book Potter will almost be killed when his broom is sucked into the GE90 engine of a passing Boeing 777 airliner operated by El Al and flown by Michael Dorn. If you arbitrarily change 777 to 77.7 and use it to divide 777 you get 10. Now if you divide 216,000 (which is the distance in miles to an empty spot in space. Coincidence? I think not!) by 10 you get 21,000 which is 50 times 432. Now you're asking "Where does the 90 fit in?", well hang on to your brooms 'cause 777 minus 90 equals 687. It should be obvious where this is going but just in case you are not a true skeptic I'll go on. If I pull 1.59027777777777777777777777777778 (which has a lot of "7"s in it. 27 to be exact) out of my bum and multiply it by 687 we get 432. 432 is the sum of the radii in mm of the 7 ostrich eggs that I threw at passing cars last night. The average diameter of the 7 eggs is about 123.4mm. If we reverse it just because we want to we get 432.1. Is miracle!!!
 
Revelation 5/4

After this I looked for some reason, and J. Lo! in her heaving bosom, an empty door... And her voice the color of granite which spoke to me like a trumpet, yea with large cups going "waaah" , come , ye young and dumb, and full of woe, At onchttp://www.internationalskeptics.com/forums/helloworld2/editor/menupop.gife I was taken in the Jackaroo, with resplendant plush interior and many options, and he who sat there appeared like Casper, and he said thou must fasten thine belt or thou will be toast. Round the Jackaroo were around 24 thrones give or take and seated on the thrones were twenty-four spry old folks clad in gay apparel, fa la la, fa la la, la, la, la. And we sang of the Ancient Ukelele Carol, going like

E aloha aÿe ana nö au
I ka makani kaulana o ka ÿäina
Aÿu e hoÿoheno nei
Ka makani käÿili aloha
Hui

speaking in an Ancient Language we Knew Not, but we faked it, and behold, around the thrones were dancers bearing golf clubs yea, also golden-plated thingys that shined and glittered, but we toketh not, no we never. The spry old seniors fell down and exclaimed loudly of their discomfort, but we soldiered on, and we saw in His hand the 7 baby seals and in their mouths were fish and on the fish were scales that again, glittered somewhat, and in each scale was a likeness of the Buckaroo engaged in rugged all-terrain vehicular motion, yea. I saw a Lamb and prepared the sacred mint jelly and other Condiments, o my brothers. For the scent of the Lamb was pleasing to my nostrils, and I ate WITH great hunger, yes, I would, yes. oh baby baby I'm qualified to satisfy your love because it sayeth in the back of the Mighty Book, oh lamby, yeah lamby, uh huh, that's the way I like it. yea.
 
JonnyFive said:
I see you too have studied the math. Study Revelation prophecy, if you are a true skeptic.

Now, back to the topic, is it possible that making fun of DJJ will ever get old?
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Not unless he gains some brains!! And the process for using them!!:rolleyes:
 
Is DJJ in hiding again? Maybe he is off researching this whole Jesus-was-gay thing; maybe that's the real reason the Romans ordered him crucified.

Ok, ok, since everyone is thinking it any way, I may as well say it: Yes, Jesus did get nailed by too buff Roman sentries just before he died.
 
jsfisher said:
Is DJJ in hiding again?
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No such luck. He is just busy defusing a brouhaha on his Christian Sex Spouse-Swapping Board (messages 1419-current).

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SexySpiritualChristians/message/1419?threaded=1&l=1


I think maybe you just enjoy the power trip of controlling this little piss-ant board (message 1425 below).

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SexySpiritualChristians/message/1425

Even in post #1434 below someone questions whether or not he reads correspondence thoroughly. Where have we heard that before?

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SexySpiritualChristians/message/1434

Read the all comments from 1419. It's a chuckle. These are the guys he's gonna get drunk and have sex with at the Lord's banquet upstairs for 45 days (I'm sure that's in the bibble - he wouldn't just make this up) before they fly back down on white horses to slay the infidels.
 
That is so bloody incredible. I hope they enjoy him there as much as we enjoy him here.



...no, wait...
 
Björn Toulouse said:
No such luck. He is just busy defusing a brouhaha on his Christian Sex Spouse-Swapping Board (messages 1419-current).

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SexySpiritualChristians/message/1419?threaded=1&l=1


I think maybe you just enjoy the power trip of controlling this little piss-ant board (message 1425 below).

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SexySpiritualChristians/message/1425

Even in post #1434 below someone questions whether or not he reads correspondence thoroughly. Where have we heard that before?

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SexySpiritualChristians/message/1434

Read the all comments from 1419. It's a chuckle. These are the guys he's gonna get drunk and have sex with at the Lord's banquet upstairs for 45 days (I'm sure that's in the bibble - he wouldn't just make this up) before they fly back down on white horses to slay the infidels.
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Strange stuff indeed. For some reason, the words "tawdry" and "pathetic" spring to mind.

ETA for Hokulele. You're right. Don't. I will serve as your proxy in this. Imagine how dull and stupid a Christian wife swapping forum run by DJJ might be. You'll be close enough.
 
Last edited:
calebprime said:
E aloha aÿe ana nö au
I ka makani kaulana o ka ÿäina
Aÿu e hoÿoheno nei
Ka makani käÿili aloha
Hui
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Hey! I just realized what you are doing here. Stop mistreating Israel Kamakawiwo'ole!

jsfisher said:
Stop shuddering. Aren't you supposed to be hanging by your heels or something?
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*sj@ppnys*

(Closest I could work this.)
 
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