BREAKING: Walter Reed Hospital has announced that the president has been named Most Beloved Patient with much jubilation. Leader's advisors have privately reported witnessing many spontaneous displays of appreciation wherever he goes within the hospital, with female staff weeping tears of joy as they cast flower petals at his feet and male staff asking him for donations of testosterone. Many expert doctors who have examined Leader have confirmed to the press that no patient in all of history has ever recovered from Covid-19 so quickly, and have described this as irrefutable evidence of superior genetic heritage.
Leader was later seen briefly outside the hospital waving to crowds of cheerful supporters, with many of his beloved constituents even seen throwing themselves upon his vehicle as they were overcome with joy at the sight of Leader appearing stronger and healthier than ever before returning to his chambers within the hospital. Bystander John Smith, who was one of the observers, remarked, "This is the greatest day of my life. The Leader made eye contact with me as he waved powerfully. Seeing his countenance so youthful and radiant, not affected in any way by the China Virus, makes me understand that anything is possible for our great nation as long as we have Leader in front of us."
