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Why is homosexuality wrong?

That's right! I keep forgetting. Those damned blood-sucking lawyers can make even a god feel insecure.




(hiding my law degree and license behind my back... :))
 
News Flash: Queers Closer To Job Discrimination Protection

Hey XenonII,

I thought you might like to know that the United States House of Representatives has passed a bill that would bar discrimination in the workplace against bisexual persons, gay men, and lesbian women. Based on news accounts, the bill would even seem to include job protections for lesbian women who frequently have anal sex with gay men. I know you have a particular interest in that particular subset of the lesbian community, since you did mention that many lesbian women have anal sex with gay men.

I'm not sure if the bill protects lesbian women who have anal sex with gay men at work, I think it just means that if somebody finds out that a particular femme lesbian is having anal sex with gay men in a church parking lot that they can't be fired. This might change if the gay man having anal sex with the lesbian woman in the church parking lot turned out to be a Republican legislator, that part is a little fuzzy.

Still, it looks like the end may be near for the don't ask, don't dildo policy so popular at major American corporations.

New York Times said:
Senator Edward M. Kennedy, the Massachusetts Democrat and a long-time supporter of gay rights legislation, said he would move swiftly to introduce a similar measure in the Senate, and some Senate Republicans said that, if worded carefully, it would have a good chance of passage, perhaps early next year.
Click to expand...

I'm sure that as a patriotic American citizen and a devout Christian you'll be very glad to hear about this new legislative move that, if it does become law, would help to fight intolerance and promote a level playing field for all American citizens.

I also want to thank you for your tireless efforts to promote the teachings of Jesus H. Christ, I know one of your favorite bits is about how if a gay guy fondles your butt you should turn the other cheek. You've always been a peacemaker, all through this thread, trying to spread JHC's message of love, peace, and acceptance, so I know that you are a child of God.

And I'm sure you agree that the gay, lesbian and bisexual people have been persecuted for seeking civil righteousness, so certainly "theirs is the Kingdom Of Heaven". Eh? Wink,wink-nudge,nudge. Say no more, Squire.

Wicked, eh?
 
DoubtingStephen said:
Hey XenonII,

I thought you might like to know that the United States House of Representatives has passed a bill that would bar discrimination in the workplace against bisexual persons, gay men, and lesbian women. Based on news accounts, the bill would even seem to include job protections for lesbian women who frequently have anal sex with gay men. I know you have a particular interest in that particular subset of the lesbian community, since you did mention that many lesbian women have anal sex with gay men.

I'm not sure if the bill protects lesbian women who have anal sex with gay men at work, I think it just means that if somebody finds out that a particular femme lesbian is having anal sex with gay men in a church parking lot that they can't be fired. This might change if the gay man having anal sex with the lesbian woman in the church parking lot turned out to be a Republican legislator, that part is a little fuzzy.

Still, it looks like the end may be near for the don't ask, don't dildo policy so popular at major American corporations.



I'm sure that as a patriotic American citizen and a devout Christian you'll be very glad to hear about this new legislative move that, if it does become law, would help to fight intolerance and promote a level playing field for all American citizens.

I also want to thank you for your tireless efforts to promote the teachings of Jesus H. Christ, I know one of your favorite bits is about how if a gay guy fondles your butt you should turn the other cheek. You've always been a peacemaker, all through this thread, trying to spread JHC's message of love, peace, and acceptance, so I know that you are a child of God.

And I'm sure you agree that the gay, lesbian and bisexual people have been persecuted for seeking civil righteousness, so certainly "theirs is the Kingdom Of Heaven". Eh? Wink,wink-nudge,nudge. Say no more, Squire.

Wicked, eh?
Click to expand...

There's nothing in there to protect us straight ****-****ers and ****-****ers. I demand equal abomination rights for heterosexuals.
 
bruto said:
There's nothing in there to protect us straight ****-****ers and ****-****ers. I demand equal abomination rights for heterosexuals.
Click to expand...

Maybe you should have thought about that before you chose the Heterosexual Lifestyle! I mean, the big guy knows he has to keep a Divine Eye for the Straight Guy, er, I mean ON the straight guy. Take the ten commandments for an example. God never said not to covet your neighbor. No, it was the straight people He was worried about, always coveting neighbor's wives.

So, as XenonII has pointed out, it is perfectly OK to covet your neighbor, as long as you do not covet his wife. After all, you can do all the neighbor-coveting you want and you still won't be gay. Covet all day, it's OK. We're here, we covet, get used to it! Covet pride parades! Covet bars! Chat rooms for guys into coveting guys. Not a problem!

So the next time you are watching a football game with the guys, and the cute little quarterback runs out on the field, feel free to yell out loud "Man, is he hot!" I promise nobody will think you are gay, because, as XenonII pointed out, you are not gay if you do not do it. Don't be SSAD, be covetous!

As far as that asterisk sex you were talking about is concerned, well, it is true that I did use to work on high speed line printers, but I swear I never had sex with that asterisk.
 
DoubtingStephen said:
Maybe you should have thought about that before you chose the Heterosexual Lifestyle! I mean, the big guy knows he has to keep a Divine Eye for the Straight Guy, er, I mean ON the straight guy. Take the ten commandments for an example. God never said not to covet your neighbor. No, it was the straight people He was worried about, always coveting neighbor's wives.

So, as XenonII has pointed out, it is perfectly OK to covet your neighbor, as long as you do not covet his wife. After all, you can do all the neighbor-coveting you want and you still won't be gay. Covet all day, it's OK. We're here, we covet, get used to it! Covet pride parades! Covet bars! Chat rooms for guys into coveting guys. Not a problem!

So the next time you are watching a football game with the guys, and the cute little quarterback runs out on the field, feel free to yell out loud "Man, is he hot!" I promise nobody will think you are gay, because, as XenonII pointed out, you are not gay if you do not do it. Don't be SSAD, be covetous!

As far as that asterisk sex you were talking about is concerned, well, it is true that I did use to work on high speed line printers, but I swear I never had sex with that asterisk.
Click to expand...

Get your filthy mind off my asterisks! You see what we're up against, Xenon? The barrage never stops! You can lead an asterisk, but you can't make him straight.
 
bruto said:
There's nothing in there to protect us straight ****-****ers and ****-****ers. I demand equal abomination rights for heterosexuals.
Click to expand...

Exactly. I'm sick to death of gays saying heterosexuality is just a phase I'm going through. It's the way I am, OK? I like the opposite sex. That doesn't make me a bad person.

I'm also fed up of being told I only like women because I can't get a 'proper' man. Look, I didn't ask to be born straight. It's not my fault and there's nothing I can do about it, so can you at least try to accept me as I am?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to find a militant straight rights organisation to join...
 
Ian Osborne said:
Exactly. I'm sick to death of gays saying heterosexuality is just a phase I'm going through. It's the way I am, OK? I like the opposite sex. That doesn't make me a bad person.

I'm also fed up of being told I only like women because I can't get a 'proper' man. Look, I didn't ask to be born straight. It's not my fault and there's nothing I can do about it, so can you at least try to accept me as I am?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to find a militant straight rights organisation to join...
Click to expand...

Well, here you go, but the membership fees just went up.

FredPhelps.jpg
 
Gah. That face makes every woman in here wish she was a lesbian.

As if the gorgeous Pineapple Princess and hc hot momma wouldn't be enough... don't you guys start the gay without me, now.
 
Safe-Keeper said:
See, if you absolutely have to make an appeal to authority fallacy, you have to start by proving that the authority actually exists. Then move on to his credentials. I'd have thought that was a given, but apparently for many fundies it isn't.

This is getting monotone.
Click to expand...

Because the way the argumentation goes is the following :

God exists (proven by faith)
He is omniscient (by faith)
The bible is god's word (by faith).

This way you have the authority and the credentials.
 
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JetLeg said:
Because the way the argumentation goes is the following :

God exists (proven by faith)
He is omniscient (by faith)
The bible is god's word (by faith).

This way you have the authority and the credentials.
Click to expand...

I tried to believe this, but found that I couldn't faith myself the next morning.
 
Here's a better one:

FSM exists (proven by me posting and my handy dandy custom title!)
FSM is omniscient (proven by faith)
FSM's word is bad ass! (proven by faith and significantly lowered standards)

See, I have the authority and the credentials too. I tole youse guys I was a god.

Jet Leg, I'll expect to get your tithe in the mail shortly.
 
FSM said:
Here's a better one:

FSM exists (proven by me posting and my handy dandy custom title!)
FSM is omniscient (proven by faith)
FSM's word is bad ass! (proven by faith and significantly lowered standards)

See, I have the authority and the credentials too. I tole youse guys I was a god.

Jet Leg, I'll expect to get your tithe in the mail shortly.
Click to expand...


If you are omniscient, what is my name and surname?
 
JetLeg said:
If you are omniscient, what is my name and surname?
Click to expand...

Robert N. Montejano

That was divine information - it is totally not my fault if your parents and family had it all wrong over the past couple of decades. That is your name!
 
Rasmus said:
Robert N. Montejano

That was divine information - it is totally not my fault if your parents and family had it all wrong over the past couple of decades. That is your name!
Click to expand...

Well, with such reasoning, your name is G.W.Bush, and it proves that I am omniscient.

In order to accept that my name is actually Robert, I need to pre-suppose the fact that you are omniscient. So, I need to presuppose the very thing that you want to prove, in order to prove it!
 
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Oh JetLeg,

You know how this works...

I AM mysterious and I CHOOSE to give information when and where and how I please. It is not for YOU to ask questions of me! That is the test! It is the test of faith.

You must believe in me without expecting answers.

Let's ask your God the same question: "HEY JetLeg's God! What is Jet's real name?"

Hmmmmmm.

I think we'll wait a LOOOOOOOOng time to get that answer.

Meanwhile, at least I'm speaking to you. So really, you should have MORE faith in me than in your god.



I tried to explain cognitive dissonance to you... so don't blame me if this hurts a little...:)
 
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