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Why Does Mankind Need God?

epix said:
What a silly question! We need God to answer those questions that we are not capable of answering due to our limitation which is given by our sorrowful origin - we are transformed apes. For example, well, let me adjust my curiosity w. r. t. the kind of populace that frequents this forum. For example, I want to know how long it would take before religions of this world go extinct. Should I ask a sociologist?

Phew. I can ask as well the squirrel in the tree. And that's why we need God who is omniscient and who won't give us that educated blank stare.


Heavenly Father, can I ask you a question?

What question?

Um, I thought that you would know beforehand what I wanted to ask you...

Oh, you mean that question about how long it would take before religions disappear, right?

Yes.

Let me see... Well, the religions won't disappear overnight - it will take some time before they dissipate.

Yes, I know that it won't happen overnight. I just want to know how long it would take.

In that case you must look at the ending, not at the beginning of religions.

Duh!
Oops. I apologize for my incivility.

That's alright. Don't worry about it. So let's take a look at the ending: RELIGIONS.

That sucks. I was hoping to see them go faster. But now I see it would take ions before the world gets that so much needed relief. Well, thanks anyway.
You know, you're so smart, so omniscient...

Am I? :)

Some folks say that you may be of female gender.

Really? :):)

Can I...?

Don't touch me! epix, stop it! Come oooon! Don't.........NO!........no ...............no:).........:)...........:jaw-dropp.......:):):)....



So, folks, God is indeed a woman. I had reeeaaaally hard evidence, but I don't have it now, so I can't show it to you.
Click to expand...

Perhaps a divine rape fantasy, that is pathetic.
 
"Really hard evidence" that he "doesn't have now"? Sounds like he had the misfortune to run into a goddess Who practices urogenital surgery on the side.
 
Astreja said:
"Really hard evidence" that he "doesn't have now"? Sounds like he had the misfortune to run into a goddess Who practices urogenital surgery on the side.
Click to expand...

Maybe it's the same goddess that Limbo takes a stroll with now and again.
 
Epix,

I am patiently waiting for your unified theory of ghosts, aliens, the bigfoot, and god(s).

A personal request: when you do produce it, please begin with an abstract.

Thank you.
 
dio said:
Epix,

I am patiently waiting for your unified theory of ghosts, aliens, the bigfoot, and god(s).

A personal request: when you do produce it, please begin with an abstract.

Thank you.
Click to expand...

Added, If possible remove from the theory, ghosts, aliens and bigfoots getting raped.
 
dio said:
Epix,

I am patiently waiting for your unified theory of ghosts, aliens, the bigfoot, and god(s).

A personal request: when you do produce it, please begin with an abstract.

Thank you.
Click to expand...
I have a Vietnamese friend who thinks all these things Westerners worry about are just hungry ghosts. Does that help?
 
epix said:
Heavenly Father, can I ask you a question?
Click to expand...
It was funnier when Eastwood pretended to talk to someone that wasn't there. At least Obama exists.

eastwoodchair.jpg
 
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