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Moderated What's wrong with porn?

Bikewer said:
Dan Savage, the sex columnist, says that he frequently gets letters from PO'ed girlfriends or wives about their boyfriend or hubby's viewing of porn. Often they will have been rummaging around on the significant other's computer and found the "stash" file....

The complaint is that the men will have an "unnatural" idea of sex, and that they will be forever inadequate..."not good enough for him" or somesuch.

Savage is, in my opinion, quite right in maintaining that the women should not be concerned; most men who consume such material do not expect the same thing in real life. It's just...Lubricious.
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As a woman, my complaint is not that porn gives an "unnatural" idea of sex, it's that it gives a limited idea of sex. I enjoy a bit of porn myself and am quite happy to find there's more and more porn "for women" out there. But at the moment, I find it's way too genital-and-climax oriented and after a while, I find it repetitive and boring... although I have to admit that some porn animes are way more interesting.

That said, I think porn and prostitution (adult male and female) are social necessities. We are sexual beings, always have been, always will be. Might as well embrace it. True, it's only a minority of people who REALLY want to work in this industry other than for the money, but I believe that that's mostly because of the social stigmas attached to it.

In my humble opinion, criminalizing these things is:
A- Playing ostrich
B- Cutting ourselves from a world of great experiences
C- The best way of making them unhealthy and dangerous
D- Maintaining ignorance
 
aviolet4u said:
It just goes to show too much of one thing isn't good. I mean how long has internet access been available to us? Since the early 90's? You have good and bad out there. I'm not saying there are sexual addicts/deviants in here but would this help their case? I was in a college computer lab and there were maybe 10-12 students typing up reports and printing them out in that small room. I turn around behind me and there is a boy looking at 2 people having sex behind me. He is watching porn shamelessly even though there are other students walking around him. Has it just become so normal? How will this media access availability affect society down the road?
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I'm sure people were saying the same thing when they were using stone to carve pics of people "doing it" on the walls. :)
 
Orangem said:
As a woman, my complaint is not that porn gives an "unnatural" idea of sex, it's that it gives a limited idea of sex. I enjoy a bit of porn myself and am quite happy to find there's more and more porn "for women" out there. But at the moment, I find it's way too genital-and-climax oriented and after a while, I find it repetitive and boring... although I have to admit that some porn animes are way more interesting.
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Okay. A woman who like anime porn. You have officially earned the title "hot" among men like me. :)

That said, I think porn and prostitution (adult male and female) are social necessities. We are sexual beings, always have been, always will be. Might as well embrace it. True, it's only a minority of people who REALLY want to work in this industry other than for the money, but I believe that that's mostly because of the social stigmas attached to it.

In my humble opinion, criminalizing these things is:
A- Playing ostrich
B- Cutting ourselves from a world of great experiences
C- The best way of making them unhealthy and dangerous
D- Maintaining ignorance
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:bigclap
 
"Okay. A woman who like anime porn. You have officially earned the title "hot" among men like me. :)"


Simple: I'm not American ;)
 
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Nosi said:
I once saw a porno blooper reel. It was the funniest thing I ever saw. All the things that don't end up in the films end up on the blooper reels. The actresses and actors cracking up while trying to say their lines, cutting farts at the VERY WRONG MOMENTS, getting uncontrollable cases of the giggles. Then there there were the salutes that wouldn't happen.

Yes, according to the actors, men had a harder time with equipment failure. Women could use astroglide and fake it, men, they had to 'stand and deliver' and sometimes, it wouldn't stand. Hense...several funnies.

Then there was the puppet.
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Porno bloopers are hilarious. I think I really sometimes prefer them to the porn. A lot of times, when a shot isn't going well, no one is smiling, they're just trying to get it done while the lube lasts, or while the erection holds, and hope it holds this time. I think that contributes to the feeling that in some scenes they're not having fun. On the other hand, when they're giggling, joking with each other, and wrestling around on the set, they're clearly nice people, with no more than the usual set of neuroses, having fun and enjoying what they're doing.

One site I was able to find that has its policies publicly posted, kink.com, does an exit interview as part of each shoot or video, and their stated policy is that if the models didn't have a positive experience, they get paid anyway, but the footage is never shown. They say they include the interviews with the material to prove that. There have been news articles about them, and when you eliminate the 'how awful, a pron producer wants to work in our city' variety, they sound like a pretty good place to work for. Hell, if I was a bit younger...

A
 
I don't think there used to be half as much mystery to start with, until _very_ recent times.

And certainly not for those cavemen. We're talking tribes of 150 early humans, including the children, huddled in some cave. Don't think they carved 75 neatly separated rooms for privacy there, or in fact that there was much carving involved. Do you think they went to great lengths to keep each other (not to mention, think of the children!;)) from seeing sex happening?

Plus, if bonobos are any indication... well, let's just say that those don't go get a room.

Other early human homes were the round hut type, and pretty much had only one room with the fire in the middle. I don't think there was much mystery left by the time one hit puberty, and then you'd marry.

Plus, anyone who was, say, the child of a peasant or even minor noble, had seen every manner of animal from cats to chickens to cattle mating and given birth. I do believe that there weren't many gaps to fill in by the time their parents arranged them a marriage ;)
 
I mean to the extent that you can see thousands of strangers sharing their "intimate" moments. You can look up just about anything and everything these days- in that itself is no mystery left.

But I'm glad to know that-

Belz... said:
No.



It doesn't. "Regular" girls are still very attractive to me.
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Like someone mentioned before, the biggest problem with porn is simply that it becomes exhausting after you've killed the initial "kick" of seeing naked people having sex, and you start seeing through the crust of it, and realizing they're not really into it. I can count the number of porn movies that have actually aroused me with the fingers of one hand. They're very rare and they do not limit themselves to putting people in front of the camera and have sex. They women in these movies are actually enjoying it (Or then again, they are the best fakers in the history of humanity).

Other than that, I don't think porn demeans humans by depicting them as nothing but sex machines; any more than a violence movie demeans humans by depicting them as nothing but flesh. Besides, in a way we are essentially sexual machines. And we are essentially flesh. So what?.
 
I personally would never date a hooker or porn actress, but then again I'm not crazy about the idea of getting into an exclusive relationship with anyone. However, if I did get into an exclusive relationship, I'd prefer it to be a monogamous one. I don't really see the point of having sex with multiple partners but limiting yourself to a loving relationship with just one person.

The question of whether or not a "normal" person would choose to star in porn or choose to have a relationship with a porn star is irrelevant. It's your inalienable right to have sex with whoever you want as long as they're in a position to consent and give you consent. The preferences of others have nothing to do with whether or not porn or prostitution is immoral.

Prosttitution isn't immoral, but making it a crime leaves the doors open for criminals to exploit it. Women become owned, abused, raped, killed, and worse because they have to take their business to the streets and go off the radar.
 
Southwind17 said:
Don't you agree that most women taken from a cross section of society would deplore the idea of being a porn actress?
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Most women taken from a cross section of society might deplore the idea of being a trashman. Does that mean that trashmen have low self-esteem?
 
aviolet4u said:
I mean to the extent that you can see thousands of strangers sharing their "intimate" moments. You can look up just about anything and everything these days- in that itself is no mystery left.
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And I see it the other way. Sometimes those "mysteries" can be dangerous. I think that watching porn can be a good outlet for those kinds of "mysteries".
 
Leif Roar said:
Most women taken from a cross section of society might deplore the idea of being a trashman. Does that mean that trashmen have low self-esteem?
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Most women taken from a cross section of society might deplore the idea of being raped. Does that make it a fair comparison?
 
Southwind17 said:
Most women taken from a cross section of society might deplore the idea of being raped. Does that make it a fair comparison?
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That is so far away from the concept of what you were replying to as to qualify as pure unadulterated intellectual dishonesty. You lose.
 
Southwind17 said:
Most women taken from a cross section of society might deplore the idea of being raped. Does that make it a fair comparison?
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There's a difference between being forcably having to do sex for no compensation and a lot of personal and physical damage and choosing to have sex while being filmed and getting paid for it.

See the difference?
 
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