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What Should Be My One Free Question?

RSLancastr

www.StopSylvia.com
RSLancastr
Joined
Sep 7, 2001
Messages
17,135
Location
Salem, Oregon
This evening I stopped into the local Barnes & Noble to buy some books on web development, for use in the upcoming site about Sylvia.

After purchasing five very cool books (okay, two very cool books, two moderately cool book, and one I'm not sure about) I got back out to my car to find that someone had placed little folded slips of paper on every car in the lot.

There was a small black and white picture of what I think is supposed to be a winged angel (or perhaps a gnome with elephant ears - it's hard to tell), under the heading "Psychic readings by tiffany". Here is the text from the flyer, with all punctuation and formatting left as-is:

Psychic readings by tiffany
I Can help solve all problems such as reunite
lovers business depression bad luck of all
kind's there is no heart so sad that I can't
bring sunshine in to I help people around the
world. So why not you? I am 99% accurate
my powers are a gift from god to help those
in need of happiness is 1 call away. I
guarantee results in hours call to day for a
better tomorrow 1 free question by phone.
(hand-printed phone number)​

So I'm wondering, what should be my one free question?
 
"What are the answers to the next ten questions I would've asked if I didn't have to pay for them?"
 
I like the "guarantee results in hours" part! None of those shilly-shally five day psychics for you! This gal's willing to put in some work!

The obvious question would seem to be: "How cum you can't foresee the full stop and/or any other norms of punctuation?"

But then again, she'd say her spirit guide told her to write this way.
 
How about, whats next weeks winning lotto numbers?

Nah, she'll spout some nonsense about not using her cra err I mean gift for personal gain.

How about, when will Slyvia Browne step up to the plate and take the challenge? Or Why dont psychics ever give the police any information that is actually useful?

Dru.
 
"How deep would the ocean be if there weren't any sponges in it?"

"Why does Tarzan not have a beard?"
 
"why don't you just **** off, get a real job, and stop exploiting the gullible and ignorant?" ;)
 
Strictly speaking, she only claims to be 99% accurate on questions of the following type: "I Can help solve all problems such as reunite lovers business depression bad luck of all kind's" (sic). So I don't think she's going to answer a black/white number-guessing question. Still, I would ask her this:

"Do you have any idea how long it took me to remove your fliers from all those car windshields?"
 
How about "Why didn't you channel someone who can write grammatically before composing your flyer?"

ixp
 
NoZed Avenger said:
You could name a missing person and ask where he or she is.
Click to expand...
Why does that person need to be missing? I'd ask where my dad is.

*holds phone to chest* "Dad? This psychic lady says you're at the bottom of a lake. Is that true?"
 
"If you'd been born in 2000 instead of 1986, would your name have been Ashley, Madison, Hannah, or Emily?"
 
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