Treating Other People With Respect

[newyorkguy]

There's a difference between treating other people with respect and having respect for an individual. When we meet someone we have no way of knowing what they're about. Nonetheless many people will treat that someone with respect, at least at first.

 

[Corsair 115]

No, I disagree, in every possible way.

I think perhaps you—and the article cited in the OP—may be confusing civility or politeness with respect. These are not necessarily the same thing.

 

[newyorkguy]

I think -- despite what a dictionary may say -- the social meaning of the word respect is changing. In many contexts, to treat people with civility or politeness is exactly what is meant by treating them with respect.

What I don't get is someone who says they don't treat people with respect. They treat them neutrally. What do they mean by that? How does that work?

 

[Gawdzilla Sama]

The way most people I know use the words, both respect and disrespect are rare, the same as trust and distrust.

Disrespect seems to be much more common than respect, especially by people who will flip out if they suspect they are being disrespected. One person thought an older guy had disrespected him in a store and went for his piece. The old guy saw him come up behind his car with a gun in his hand and disrespected the young gun seven times.

 

[Stacko]

I think perhaps you—and the article cited in the OP—may be confusing civility or politeness with respect. These are not necessarily the same thing.

I think it's probably the attempted conflation of courtesy with respect that the OP suffers from.

 

[arthwollipot]

The way most people I know use the words, both respect and disrespect are rare, the same as trust and distrust.

Well, same, to an extent. I tend to trust most people until they give me reason not it. I trust them to do what they say they're going to do, and I trust them not to be randomly criminal. Maybe that's not what most dictionaries define as "trust", but there it is.

 

[arthwollipot]

I think it's probably the attempted conflation of courtesy with respect that the OP suffers from.

"Suffers"? As though it's a bad thing?

 

[The Atheist]

Argument by dictionary?

Yes, I see that the dictionary definition provided here does differ somewhat from what I have been taught my whole life. I have no explanation for that.

Unfortunately, it seems that you're alone in that definition, so you might be better finding another word.

 

[arthwollipot]

Unfortunately, it seems that you're alone in that definition, so you might be better finding another word.

Well, me and Neil Gaiman, perhaps.

 

[The Atheist]

Well, me and Neil Gaiman, perhaps.

Well if you both take heed of this:

...courtesy ...

and use it as a replacement, the problems solved and I'll agree with you.

 

[arthwollipot]

Well if you both take heed of this:



and use it as a replacement, the problems solved and I'll agree with you.

So if you replace the word "respect" with the word "courtesy" in the quote in the OP, you'd endorse it?

 

[Manopolus]

Probably when you land on a word or phrase that doesn't work as an insult. "Retarded/retard", and older once-clinical terms like "idiot" and "moron" are too easy to bark out as an insult. "Intellectually disabled" doesn't work that way (not sure if that is the current clinical term or not).

I'm not so sure that actually works. People even use the word "special" sometimes as an identical sort of insult. And like I said, it's not the word, but the attitude towards the condition and its easy use as a derogatory metaphor towards those that don't, in fact, have the condition which is problematic.

 

[Modified]

I'm not so sure that actually works. People even use the word "special" sometimes as an identical sort of insult. And like I said, it's not the word, but the attitude towards the condition that is problematic.

Due to the primary meaning of "special", it's too easy to use sarcastically, and you'll always hear it with a sarcastic rather than directly cruel tone when used as an insult. Anyway, regardless of the attitude, if a word/phrase with sufficient syllables and neutral meanings of the component words/roots becomes the clinical or formal term, we can stop or slow down the term replacement cycle. That doesn't solve any societal problems, but it solves some practical ones.

 

[The Atheist]

So if you replace the word "respect" with the word "courtesy" in the quote in the OP, you'd endorse it?

Looks pretty good to me.

But I do get the impression that some people here might disagree with what it says - that "political correctness" is effectively synonymous with "treating other people with respect courtesy". I don't disagree with it. I think it expresses very well something that I've been thinking in vague terms for some time - especially when people denigrate the idea of political correctness.

 

[Information Analyst]

My attitude in life has always been refer to people as if they were people -- defined by what they were wearing, or where they were standing, not by the color of their skin or the number of limbs they have apparent or whatever.

The British-Iranian comedian Shappi Khorsandi does a routine where she points out how polite middle class people will tie themselves in descriptional knots at a party when drawing someone's attention to someone else, rather than be blunt and say that they mean the one black person there. "Yes, she's with Steve. He over there. Standing by the pot plant. In the green shirt. No, not that green shirt, the other one. Yes, OK, the black guy...."

 

[arthwollipot]

By the way, here are a few other people who appear to be using the word "respect" in the same way I do:

I think it's a pretty good thought: political correctness is a way of putting a negative spin on the idea of, "Treating people with respect."

A free society is -- or is supposed to be -- a society where each individual is valued and treated with and accorded dignity and respect. Many people believe being treated with respect is a basic human right. That it is essentially what separates free societies from repressive societies.

My problem with "political correctness", as practiced by most, is that they're replacing an offensive term with a convoluted exacting term that we're all supposed to remember.

My attitude in life has always been refer to people as if they were people -- defined by what they were wearing, or where they were standing, not by the color of their skin or the number of limbs they have apparent or whatever.

It is about respecting people. But not toadying to them, or making people feel good because they used to feel bad, or whatever. People are people and deserve to be treated like people. With respect. (Until they prove they're not worthy of respect, but that's a rant for a different time.)

I respect your authority in this, as established both by context and your skull avatar.

While I agree that, as a matter of courtesy and manners, we should treat each other with dignity and respect... I think that you are very mistaken as to a free society. A free society, traditionally, means that the government does not oppress you... Nothing to do with whether your fellow citizens are rude.

To fix your quote:

" the government having to treat you with respect is essentially what separates free societies from repressive societies."

Treating people with respect is easy enough. We all know what it is, and we all know how to do it. And of course we each choose how much respect to give on a case by case basis, using personal judgement.

Political correctness is something else entirely. It's a collection of shibboleths for signaling adherence to (Politically) Correct Thought.

Thus the difference between "illegal alien" and "undocumented immigrant" isn't just --or even primarily--a difference in the amount of respect shown to such a person. It's a difference in what problems you're trying to acknowledge, and what truths you're trying to conceal. What political faction you're trying to speak to, in other words.

You use "undocumented immigrant" not out of sincere interest in respecting those people, but out of self-interest: Politically-correct terms are for maintaining your own position within the in-group. The problem is not, as Neil Gaiman (or whoever) suggests, with people making disrespectful jokes. It's with people declaring that only approved vocabulary reflecting their values and assumptions may be used to discuss a topic.

Political correctness is a divisive and fascist methodology and has nothing to do with treating people with respect. I'm sure if I reprimanded Mr Gaiman for offending religious sensibilities by the frivolous deific title reference of his book 'American Gods,' he wouldn't thank me for pointing out his lack of respect for other people.

And indeed, the blasphemy present in Gaiman's very quote demonstrates a similar hypocrisy.

I think -- despite what a dictionary may say -- the social meaning of the word respect is changing. In many contexts, to treat people with civility or politeness is exactly what is meant by treating them with respect.

What I don't get is someone who says they don't treat people with respect. They treat them neutrally. What do they mean by that? How does that work?

 

[ponderingturtle]

Treating people with respect is easy enough. We all know what it is, and we all know how to do it. And of course we each choose how much respect to give on a case by case basis, using personal judgement.

Political correctness is something else entirely. It's a collection of shibboleths for signaling adherence to (Politically) Correct Thought.

Yep that is why African American is PC and Negro is fine for everyone else.

 

[theprestige]

Yep that is why African American is PC and Negro is fine for everyone else.

It's also why 'niggardly' and 'black hole' are politically incorrect. There is no reasonable standard of respect which bans these words. Only the co-opting of the idea of 'respect' to castigate people who use Unapproved Vocabulary.

 

[The Greater Fool]

Strangers get courtesy, until they abandon it in return.

 

[Upchurch]

Well if you both take heed of this:



and use it as a replacement, the problems solved and I'll agree with you.

Well, that's just circular since part of the definition of courtesy is "a courteous, respectful, or considerate act or expression."

Also, "courtesy" and "respect" are synonyms.