Having read this Stundie Nomination, I was blinded by the sheer immensity of the ignorance. So much so, that my eyes bled. In some distress, I blindly made for the medical cupboard, incurring along the way, some contusions and a flattened cat. I soldiered on regardless, not able to see.
I eventually arrived at the medical cabinet, and groped blindly for some Optrex, or similar, to soothe my burning eyes.
Sadly, due to my unsighted status at that time, I had found my way to the kitchen, not the bathroom.
I proceeded to pour industrial bleach into my eyes for a considerable period of time, and rinsed vigourously, thinking it was the eye-balm I sought.
This, of course, resulted in severe pain, so in an effort to relieve it, I made my way, in my blinded state to the phone, to summon the emergency services. Imagine my surprise, when I found it was not a phone, but a random rat I picked up in the garden while writhing in agony with my eyes.
In my now disorientated state, I mistook the garden shed for the kitchen, and crawled towards it. Once there, I drank 2 litres of gearbox fluid (I was, by now, thirsty) and ate slug repellent (thinking the pellets were painkillers), and attempted to use the garden hose for an enema.
The moral of the story is, "think before you post".