Things you'd like to see in a Vampire novel.

[bjornart]

Oh so Bram Stoker wrote graphic novels now?

Seriously dumb post there mate.

Wooosh!

 

[CriticalSock]

What would I like to see in a vampire novel? Fewer vampires. No teenage romance. No armadillos. Wait. That's things I don't want to see in a vampire novel!

Fewer vampires - Let the Right One I like. Buffy the hot vampire slayer I don't like.

No teenage romance - How did that ever happen anyway?? F Twilight!

No Armadillos - Yes. Odd one this. I was watching the Bela Lugosi Dracula film recently and in the Transylvania crypt scene there were armadillos scuttling about for some bizarre reason.

Oh and try and work a reference to Scholomance, the college of evil that dracula learned a lot of his evil skills at. 6 million World of Warcraft players will sit up and pay attention to that! (I certainly did when I got to that reference in Bram Stokers Dracula!)

 

[Marduk]

What does he do?

Gets a job as a technician at a blood bank

 

[Vortigern99]

Our approach is to have three main 'races' of vampires. There are 'darks', who are a lot like Stoker's vampires. They had to commit deliberate horrible acts with magical ceremony to become vampires. They are the oldest. The 'mystics' arouse as a reaction to the power of darks. They use the same sort of source of magical power as the darks, blood, but aren't as monstrous or anywhere near as physically powerful. They become vampires through specific, long involved rituals that require the help of other mystics. Sort of a balancing act, they often take out the more troublesome darks, but mostly destroy virals. 'Virals' as their name implies spread when the victim of a viral doesn't die outright from the attack. Both darks and mystics seek to destroy these creatures, which are nothing but corpses during the day.

This break-down is pretty cool. However, based on your brief summary, I have a few questions.

First, how are the Mystics different from the Darks, except by age or monstrous appearance? Both use magical rituals to achieve vampirism, but the Mystics for whatever reason are weaker than the Darks. Why should this be so? Moreover, given that the Mystics are weaker, how is it that they can "take out" the Darks? Also, why should they want to?

And last, regarding the Virals, given that they "spread when the victim of a viral doesn't die outright from the attack", how are they in any way undead, or for that matter, vampires? They didn't die, so how can they be "corpses" during the day?

I trust these seeming contradictions are a result of the brevity of your paragraph, and not any flaws in the conception itself. I look forward to your clarifications!

 

[Vortigern99]

Also, for anyone still wondering about the armadillos in the original Dracula film, evidently director Browning, a Texan, ordered them in as an inexpensive way to get a weird-looking animal (which most non-Texans were unfamiliar with at the time) into the castle, in order to set the ancient, creepifying mood.

Today, of course, it's funny to see them in a vampire movie. But ya know, even some Texans I know find armadillos repulsive! Browning had the right idea, I think.

 

[Tacita]

All the ideas presented here have been done. Even the fat hick vampires (an episode of X-Files had vampires living in a trailer park and using fake fangs - yet were real vampires with hick accents; one was a chubby kid). Also, the alien vampire has been done too, in what will soon be a trilogy by Guillermo del Toro, the first book of which is called The Strain.

I generally prefer the vampire actually being alive, breathing, with a soul, who gets sunburned easily but doesn't burst into flame, is not bothered by religious symbols, and needs blood - HUMAN blood ONLY, to live, but doesn't need to kill the victim and doesn't infect them by bite alone. Fast healing like Wolverine also.

And I want the vampire to be the protagonist of the story, and us humans being the bad guys. And something realistic about how someone who is essentially immortal can live in in the present age of drivers licenses, paper trails, internet, etc. (kind of like Highlander did it).

The above has also actually been done, just not all in the same book (The Hunger / The St. Germain series).

Having read the OP's idea, since I don't believe in magic I'd probably have a hard time suspending my disbelief.

 

[Mark6]

Tacita, have you ever seen the movie "Blood Ties"? I think you would like it.

 

[ponderingturtle]

How about a tragic, melodramatic story of a vampire obsessed with counting things?

A handful of mustard seeds is a traditional way of stopping a vampire. So The Count is more authentic than many more modern vampires.

 

[ponderingturtle]

I started reading that one, but just didn't find it interesting. The zombies didn't improve the story at all.

Maybe others in the "series" might be better, like "Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters" or "Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter". But I doubt it.

He did write Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter.

 

[ZirconBlue]

Having read the OP's idea, since I don't believe in magic I'd probably have a hard time suspending my disbelief.

So, you don't like Fantasy, then?

 

[Normal Dude]

HERE's a good example of how different a Vampire can be.

This has my vote. Unique, fascinating, and utterly freaky.

 

[Vortigern99]

All the ideas presented here have been done. Even the fat hick vampires (an episode of X-Files had vampires living in a trailer park and using fake fangs - yet were real vampires with hick accents; one was a chubby kid). Also, the alien vampire has been done too, in what will soon be a trilogy by Guillermo del Toro, the first book of which is called The Strain.

Okay, all ideas so far conjectured here have been previously addressed or explored in some fictional media. Even the alien vampire was done in the 70s with Warren's Vampirella. And...? So...? Surely you're not suggesting that no more stories can or should be written, now that "all the ideas presented here have been done". If that were the case all authors everywhere should lay down their pens and unplug their computers.

I generally prefer the vampire actually being alive, breathing, with a soul, who gets sunburned easily but doesn't burst into flame, is not bothered by religious symbols, and needs blood - HUMAN blood ONLY, to live, but doesn't need to kill the victim and doesn't infect them by bite alone. Fast healing like Wolverine also.

Oh, so you like purely invented elements in your vampire stories with no basis in folklore, literature or observable reality. Gotcha.

And I want the vampire to be the protagonist of the story, and us humans being the bad guys. And something realistic about how someone who is essentially immortal can live in in the present age of drivers licenses, paper trails, internet, etc. (kind of like Highlander did it).

The above has also actually been done, just not all in the same book (The Hunger / The St. Germain series).

Sounds like Anne Rice to me. Vampire protagonists, living in the modern age, etc. Are you sure you're well read on this subject? Because you present yourself as an authority, but you seem to lack a fundamental education in vampire lore and storytelling.

Having read the OP's idea, since I don't believe in magic I'd probably have a hard time suspending my disbelief.

You just contradicted everything you wrote about fast healing, needing "HUMAN" blood to survive, etc. Those are, in case you missed this, magical qualities. Your entire post is rife with such errors.

 

[Piscivore]

Fewer vampires - Let the Right One I like. Buffy the hot vampire slayer I don't like.

I like both.

No teenage romance - How did that ever happen anyway??

Buffy + Angel. I just finished watching all seven seasons of BTVS and clearly the "Twilight" author stole the whole Buffy/Angel thing lock stock and barrel and mixed in some glitter and extra angst.

F Twilight!

You got that right.

 

[Brian-M]

Oh so Bram Stoker wrote graphic novels now?


Seriously dumb post there mate.

Clearly Steve001's joke went right over your head here. (Hint: Stoker didn't illustrate his novel, so there's nothing much to see in it. A lot to read, but not much to see.)

All the ideas presented here have been done. Even the fat hick vampires (an episode of X-Files had vampires living in a trailer park and using fake fangs - yet were real vampires with hick accents; one was a chubby kid). Also, the alien vampire has been done too, in what will soon be a trilogy by Guillermo del Toro, the first book of which is called The Strain.

I know the alien as vampire thing was done in 2001 on the TV series Lexx, in season 4, episode 8 (the episode was titled "Vlad").

 

[CriticalSock]

Vampire Monkeys? Vampire monkeys escaped from monkey hell?

I'm thinking Hellboy meets 30 days of night meets Disneys Tarzan.

Set it in space and I think you'll have a sure-fire winner.

 

[Brian-M]

I'm thinking Hellboy meets 30 days of night meets Disneys Tarzan.

There's already an animated Hellboy movie about a vampire. It's called Blood and Iron. There's no monkeys or Tarzan, but there's lots of ghosts (the vampire's victims) a werewolf (a former priest), and three harpies. It ends with Hellboy battling Hectate, the goddess of witchcraft.

ETA: But I liked the animated Hellboy movie Sword of Storms better.

 

[Vortigern99]

I know the alien as vampire thing was done in 2001 on the TV series Lexx, in season 4, episode 8 (the episode was titled "Vlad").

Correction! The alien vampire was first done in 1970, in Warren publications' Vampirella:

Vampirella was originally presented as an inhabitant of the planet Draculon, a world where people lived on blood and where blood flowed in rivers. Draculon orbits two twin suns that were causing droughts across the planet, marking certain doom for Vampirella and her race. The race of which Vampirella was born, the Vampiri, were able to transform themselves into bats at will, sprout wings when required, and drink blood.

The story begins with the inhabitants of Draculon dying slowly due to the drying up of its blood. The last few lie dying when a spaceship from Earth crashes on the planet. Vampirella, sent to investigate, is attacked; retaliating, she discovers that the astronauts have blood in their veins. In order for her race to survive, she manages to pilot the ship back to Earth where her adventures begin. Vampirella becomes a "good" vampire, and devotes her energy to ridding our world of the homegrown "evil" kind.

​

If there is an earlier, perhaps cinematic version of the extraterrestrial vampire, I await the revelation!

 

[Hittman]

All the ideas presented here have been done.

So has every other idea in every genre. The trick is to do it differently, and/or better.

There was even a movie about midget vampires called "Ankle Biters."

I do think I'm the only one, though, who has written about a Jehovah's Witness who becomes a vampire. www.bloodwitness.com.

And I'll admit it wasn't an original idea. It was inspired by a Rodney Dangerfield joke: "Wouldn't it be funny if we found out Dracula was a Jehovah Witness?" Yeah, I thought, it sure would be. So I wrote it.

 

[Vortigern99]

Hittman, I'm looking forward to reading that; it sounds funny/charming. The first thought that occurs to me is that since JWs put no stock in crosses or crucifixes (perceiving them as idolatrous), a JW vampire should be immune to the holy symbol as a deterrent.

But you're the first and only author on the subject (Dangerfield's joke only counts as a joke!), so I imagine you've delved into the subject pretty deeply.

And BTW, "Blood Witness" is a terrific title.

 

[TragicMonkey]

Three suggestions:

1. I think it was E.T.A. Hoffman (or it might have be Sheridan le Fanu, somebody like that anyway) had a short story about a vampire. In it, they opened the coffin and found it full of blood, in which she was floating. She did bite her victims, I think, but she really needed to sleep bathed in the blood rather than just ingesting it. It's a much more effective visual, I think.

2. Avoid deliberately exotic names. Naming everyone with lots of "V"s and "Y"s and foreign-sounding (although rarely genuinely foreign) names is lazy, and somewhat irritating. Transylvania is full of Stephens and Michaels and Annas, you don't need Vlads and Vyronikas and, god help us all, Vyxyns. If you are any good at characterization, the evillest vampire can be named Emily Jones or Scott Cooper, rather than having to enhance themselves by swanning around as Lady Seductra or Count Bloodtalon.

3. Don't explain too much. Truly effective supernatural fiction keeps the supernatural supernatural. It's supposed to be romantic (in the old sense, not the lovey-dovey sense) and mysterious--explaining how everything works is fine for science fiction but it totally kills the mood for horror. "It's really a virus!" or "it's aliens!" ruins everything. Horror is horrifying precisely because it isn't understood. Unless you're writing these as science fiction, in which case explain it all or the readers will be pissed.

eta: Okay, 4. The Count Bloodtalon thing...let's face it, vampires are kind of gay. If you must make gay vampires, please make at least some of them butch. They freaking kill people to eat, they can't all be girly sissy men.