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The Official Alex Jones Thread!

The Onion wins Alex Jones' Infowars in bankruptcy auction
The Onion, the satirical news company that repeatedly spoofed conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, has won the bankruptcy auction for control over his media empire — most notably Infowars, the far-right, conspiracy-minded website that served as Jones’ primary online platform.

Jones announced the sale on X on Thursday morning.

“I just got word 15 minutes ago that my lawyers and folks met with the U.S. trustee over our bankruptcy this morning and they said they are shutting us down even without a court order this morning,” Jones said.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m going to be here until they come and turn the lights off,” he added.
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They turned the lights off quickly.

The Onion plans to shutter Jones’ Infowars and rebuild the website featuring well-known internet humor writers and content creators, according to a person with knowledge of the sale. About an hour and a half after the announcement of the sale, Infowars' website was shut down.
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A bright spot in a sea of darkness. Made my day. :)
 
I love it! Apparently eight of the Sandy Hook families endorsed the deal in a CNN interview a few hours ago.

I'm going to be interested in what they do with it. Could use it as a platform for a satirical CT content. Or maybe just have a link to anti-CT sites.

They're great (it's my homepage) - I think they'll make good use of it.
 
shemp said:
I agree, there's no need to merge it.
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Ok, on that note, let me add my two cents from my original post on the Alex Jones thread (as it was noted there that the podcast would continue with an Onion bent, and an actual article was written by them to explain why Infowars was bought):

Here's an example, and OMG, I can tell this will be a very, very good investment:


Founded in 1999 on the heels of the Satanic “panic” and growing steadily ever since, InfoWars has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses. With a shrewd mix of delusional paranoia and dubious anti-aging nutrition hacks, they strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal. They are a true unicorn, capable of simultaneously inspiring public support for billionaires and stoking outrage at an inept federal state that can assassinate JFK but can’t even put a man on the Moon.
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The source of satire will be endless, especially with the maga weirdoes running things, including the inefficient Department of Efficiency and the "new" sleepy Department of Warriors to lead the battle... bwahahahaha


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I replied on the CT thread before I saw this one, so I'll just repost it:

I love it! Apparently eight of the Sandy Hook families endorsed the deal in a CNN interview a few hours ago.

I'm going to be interested in what they do with it. Could use it as a platform for a satirical CT content. Or maybe just have a link to anti-CT sites.

They're great (it's my homepage) - I think they'll make good use of it.

ETA: And yes, before anybody asks, my avatar came from The Onion.
 
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Onion CEO just said they're going to use it to go after to create a new world to after what Alex Jones created. He said that they have things cooked up.

And I can't wait!
 
"As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWars warehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal." -Global Tetrahedron

Ooooo--who is it gonna be?? Maybe Elon Musk??
 
PitPat said:
Onion CEO just said they're going to use it to go after to create a new world to after what Alex Jones created. He said that they have things cooked up.

And I can't wait!
Click to expand...
stanfr said:
"As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWars warehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal." -Global Tetrahedron

Ooooo--who is it gonna be?? Maybe Elon Musk??
Click to expand...


The source of satire will be endless, especially with the maga weirdoes running things, including the inefficient Department of Efficiency and the "new" sleepy Department of Warriors to lead the battle... bwahahahaha


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JayUtah said:
And right on cue, Steve Bannon is saying there was a conspiracy to deny a winning bid from Roger Stone. You can't make this stuff up (except they do).
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Holy smokes, talk about the Streisand affect. I could see the Onion going to town on that one in one of their first articles:


Stave Bannon and Roger Stone, Silent Partners of
the Onion, Start the Ball Rolling With the First
Conspiracy Theory to Discredit Their Own Mag

Mr. Bannon laughed hysterically as the maga weirdoes fell for his
newest conspiracy theory, while Roger Stone nodded his head in
agreement. "They really are stupid and uneducated," he admitted.
​


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